tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5716464676430798966.post6094731047167999496..comments2023-10-03T06:01:22.776-04:00Comments on The aftermath of rainbows and unicorns: No, no - allow meSamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11342453970164354596noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5716464676430798966.post-37122134186298163602011-12-21T13:30:31.829-05:002011-12-21T13:30:31.829-05:00Ditto to what everyone said, although many comment...Ditto to what everyone said, although many commenters referred to you "accepting help". In general I agree that you need to learn to do that more, but in this case there's not even a place for that phrase. Josh does not need to "help" you by making his own latkes and applesauce -- he just needs to do it if he wants to have them. Period. <br /><br />If it had been me, I don't think I would have hid in the bathroom to have that cry. If you feel that Josh takes your time and your effort for granted, and you would like him to learn to adjust his expectations, he needs to know that you feel that way. Perhaps, whether now or after the stress of finals, you can sit down with him and explain how hurt and upset it makes you feel that he doesn't even notice that you're overloaded, or that he disregards that fact in making requests/demands like this one. In fact, if it were me I'd probably let him know I overheard his comment about just showing up and tell him how <i>that</i> made me feel as well. Yes, I'm probably more upfront/blunt than most people, but I believe there's not much that's more important to a close relationship than open communication.Alishahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14704805929862792884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5716464676430798966.post-80301048649659671662011-12-21T08:29:00.716-05:002011-12-21T08:29:00.716-05:00I agree with the others. If you don't learn to...I agree with the others. If you don't learn to set limits and boundaries with others, you will be in big trouble. Learn it young.<br />gmgAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5716464676430798966.post-62901998878482715002011-12-21T08:21:22.045-05:002011-12-21T08:21:22.045-05:00I don't think you are being fair to yourself. ...I don't think you are being fair to yourself. You have a lot of responsibility. You are a full-time student, have a job, you tutor, take care of the household and all the jobs from the house. Josh (and your sisters) do not carry the same load that you do. You find that you have to study twice as hard as him, but he doesn't have all the stuff that is loading you down, take up precious mental space. Give yourself a break Sam. Your family and Josh must learn to help you. And you need to learn to how to accept the help (even when it's not done to your standards). You will burn yourself out. You need to be a be more selfish and carve time to take care of you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5716464676430798966.post-71294446858053294462011-12-20T15:40:32.950-05:002011-12-20T15:40:32.950-05:00I'm with everyone. You don't have to be me...I'm with everyone. You don't have to be mean, just say, "I'm working really hard to do well on my finals, but I would love to eat whatever you make." <br /><br />Seriously, that's bogus.JJ https://www.blogger.com/profile/13709043416663759186noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5716464676430798966.post-6102623570290534192011-12-20T13:30:17.904-05:002011-12-20T13:30:17.904-05:00I think I would have said, "Great, I can'...I think I would have said, "Great, I can't wait to taste your home made applesauce and latkes, thanks for thinking of sharing it with me babe!"<br /><br />I think it's good to say no, set some boundaries and give a reality check.<br /><br />Good luck with finishing up finals girl and Happy Holidays!Lil'Sishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07676881545075048676noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5716464676430798966.post-67261588496807762632011-12-20T12:40:00.546-05:002011-12-20T12:40:00.546-05:00I'm sorry Sam. As my dad would say, Josh was o...I'm sorry Sam. As my dad would say, Josh was out of order.<br /><br />I think it's totally okay for you to simply say, no, I can't make latkes and applesauce for you because I'm already busy studying for finals. Period. Like Lisa said, you have the right to say no.Ninanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5716464676430798966.post-10159268191453605472011-12-20T10:30:53.468-05:002011-12-20T10:30:53.468-05:00Lisa is so right!!! These are his holiday traditi...Lisa is so right!!! These are his holiday traditions that he wants to share with you, he needs to treat them as such. Let him know that you are excited to eat the applesauce and latkes he makes but that you do not have the time or energy this year.Suzyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14582200431618390830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5716464676430798966.post-43522356964361575542011-12-20T09:11:00.748-05:002011-12-20T09:11:00.748-05:00Josh is old enough (and smart enough) to make latk...Josh is old enough (and smart enough) to make latkes for you. Tell him you would love to share in his holiday traditions, but he needs to help, because you are very busy and he seems to have the time, unlike you. <br /><br />People may make lots of demands on your time, but you don't always have to say yes, even when you love them. You are allowed to say no, and ask for help. Point out to Josh that its HIS holiday tradition, not yours, and thus he should be involved in the doing.Lisa @ Lisa Moveshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10296941353317254985noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5716464676430798966.post-60845305019804616772011-12-20T04:28:37.763-05:002011-12-20T04:28:37.763-05:00I think just as your tags says you are 'overwh...I think just as your tags says you are 'overwhelmed' at the moment - exam time and christmas/hanekah are not easy times of the year... i think you needed that cry so dont worry about it. Besides ALL boys are like that. Iv been with my husband 8 years and he STILL doesnt understand that he and I do not work the same when it comes to time management!! Keep strong Sam exams are almost over!! ;-)Mizasiwahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01998671877747912475noreply@blogger.com