It happened again

When I got home from work, Alex and Lily were in the kitchen, making baked ziti and garlic bread and a salad. Once again, Lily had been playing in the hallway. Alex claimed it was for a long time, so she knocked on their door and when nobody answered she brought Lily in.

There is no way this is kosher. Once again, a note was put on their door. Lily (very messily) ate dinner with us. I hope she doesn't have any allergies.

Maybe Lily's parents are overwhelmed or something. If that's the case they could cut back on something to hire help with her. It's hard to understand her, but we're pretty sure she goes to special school so if that's right they have a few hours of break from her. Ugh.

It's wrong to judge parents, right?

We have new neighbors, and they have a very cute little girl who has down syndrome. They also have an older kid who doesn't, and I think the mom likes her best. The younger one is about four or five, and always out in the hallway with a toy playing by herself. Sometimes one of us going out there to play with her. Today Alex was baking and heard the girl outside, so she went to knock on their door and ask if she could bring her in to help bake. I was in the living room and overheard the conversation.

Alex: Hi! I'm Alex and live across the hall. Is it okay if Lily comes over to help me with some baking? I won't let her use any knives.
Neighbor: Oh! Let me go get Violet (older one) - she loves to bake!
Alex: Um, I meant Lily? Because she's just hanging out in the hall?
Neighbor. Oh, well ... I guess. Are you SURE?
Alex: Sure! I can bring her back in two hours.
Neighbor: Okay.

So Alex brought Lily in, and they had a blast making all different cookie shapes. An hour and 58 minutes later, Alex had Lily by one hand and a bag full of cookies by the other as she knocked on Lily's door. Nobody. Was. Home. Alex came back with Lily and the cookies, and wrote a note to tape on their door saying "Hi! We had a great time baking and Lily is ready to come home now. Please knock on our door to collect her as soon as you get back!"

FOUR hours later, Violet came knocking to collect her sister. So we spent the afternoon with this little kid and that's it - no apologies or thank yous or anything. Lily was here for so long that she helped to make dinner too. I'm sure it's really hard having a kid with all these problems and I can understand wanting a break, but you can't just dump your kid on people. Josh gave Alex a big talk about not being taken advantage of and what to say if this happens in the future.

When I'm not there

(I don't have time to meet up with Josh's dad until Friday and he said that's fine, so I guess it's not about my head. Which is fine. I mean my head is. And not meeting until Friday.)

 This woman adopted or is fostering (I didn't catch which) a boy who is seven and doesn't even know the alphabet. He is kind of hyper and so after seeing him having such a hard time staying still at the dining room table I decided we needed to move around. I also broke the alphabet down into five-letter chunks so it doesn't seem as big.

The woman sat on the living room couch pretending to read a magazine, but really interrupting my flow every two seconds to yell at the boy to listen to me, to focus, sit still. I hate people like this. Finally when the boy deflated at her criticisms I had to give her my "go away" speech. She took it well and went into another room somewhere, but still kept yelling at him.

When I was leaving, as I told him he did a great job she interrupted and argued with me. Telling him he was never going to learn to read if he didn't pay attention and follow directions. Telling him he was already way behind his peers, did he want to continue getting even more behind? After the front door closed and I was in the hallway, you could hear her screaming at him that he was a waste of money. Shit, and this is better than where he was before? Damn.

Now

There's this blog roll thing where each month they have a different theme. June's theme is Now. So I will give you some nows.

Right now I am wearing a dress that is slightly too short to be decent which is why I am wearing capri leggings under it. It's time to give this dress to Dani, but I really like it, so maybe we can share it through the summer and then I'll give it to her.

Right now I am happy. We went to Brooklyn today. Honestly I would have been happy to lay down on the sidewalks and kiss the ground. But instead we walked around and visited our old house and bought a bunch of italian ices and brought them to Topher's firehouse. Alex may have slid down the pole, whatever. We went to my old elementary school too.

Right now I am full, because Craig had a bbq and invited us and I ate a lot of food. His wife sent us home with a lot of leftovers. I ate scallops wrapped with bacon, and bbq'd chicken, and corn on the cob. Among other things. That include cheesecake. While we were there, Craig's daughter fell down a flight of stairs. Her screaming was very loud.

Holy crap that's a lot of questions

Can Alex get a cell phone, so she can check in while in transit? I told Alex we'll find a way to get her a cell phone when she starts ninth grade, not eighth grade. I'm not agreeing to anything that costs money until we see if living this way costs us more or less.
Would the camp friend's parent or guardian transport Alex to the train to go home? Yes, someone would drive her to the train station on Long Island.
Would you meet her arriving train? Yeah, one of us would be fine with meeting her at Penn Station.
Would she feel secure about traveling herself if she could be assured of a specific plan involving all this? Not really. Alex barely likes to take a shower without someone sitting on the floor talking to her. She always wants company and never wants to be alone. Josh used the phrase "tough love."

Can Alex get a babysitting job for those weeks to help with the household expenses? I doubt it. She is not quite 12, and the only people who'd hire her are the types to live in neighborhoods that are unsafe for Alex to be at by herself.
Will she agree to take on the bulk of the unpacking and organizing to lessen the burden on the two of you who are working? She doesn't really get to agree or disagree. If we tell her she has to, then she'll have to.
Will you have more free time to spend with her if she does either of these things for the household? Not really. I mean, yes if Alex unpacks then I won't have to, but it's not like if she does it then we'll go to the mall and see a movie or something. It's more like if she does it then I'll have to hurry less to get all the shit done that I have to do.
Would you take Alex to the library local to your new apartment once you move and get her set up to take out books from or spend time there? She will know where the library is nearest our new apartment. It's a really safe area - totally safe for her to walk around and explore.

What it comes down to is that Alex wants to act like and be treated like, a big baby. I am getting really tired of it. Firstly, because she's been acting this way a long time. Secondly, because I don't have the time to deal with it. Thirdly, because she is not actually a baby. When I was her age she practically WAS a baby, and I WAS taking care of her. She needs to grow up. She just does.

You want to be treated like a baby? Fine, then you're too little to go to a party with boys. You're too little to go to a party so far away from home.

She can't have it both ways.