Why Is This Your Race?

Dear Person reading my blog from United Cable Company of Florida,

I was just looking at my stats and you and the person from Time Warner are neck and neck, and have been for quite some time. But this Time Warner kid seems to be taking the lead lately. Figured you might like to know since you look at my blog more often than anyone else in the world. Including me. I don't really understand why you two are racing each other, and why my blog is where you choose to race. There are tons of things I don't understand though, so we'll just add this one to the list.

Thank you for reading my blog by the way. I've never been to Florida. Word on the street is there are pink buildings in Miami - I think that'd be fun to see. While I'm there it would be great to hit up Seaworld (I heart dolphins) and Key West (I heart gays too). My boobs aren't big enough yet to get me into Miami, but maybe when I'm older.

Don't forget to reapply your sunscreen,
Sam

Communicate This

Dani needs a cell phone. We spend too much time not at home and too much time apart, for her to not have one. Okay and plus I'm tired of all her friends calling me, for her. Dani's friend Kimani called yesterday morning, to ask if she wanted to go hang out in Chinatown and Little Italy for the day. I was at work, but in between people called Dani at Craig's house to tell her. Craig wasn't working yesterday, so he said she didn't need to mother's help.

Alex didn't want to be left out, and I said she could hang out with me. I was working until 12:30 and then meeting my friends in the city anyway. Alex is kind of cool to hang out with - she's old enough that she doesn't actually need anything from us other than to not be left behind, and young enough that she will do whatever we tell her, because she's so happy to be included at all. She's kind of like a short personal assistant.

The four of us (me, Al, & my two friends, these Russian sisters who do things like get shit-faced and then walk through glass doors and that's not even the biggest thing that happens to them on a Wednesday night) wandered around the Village all afternoon. We met Danielle and Kimani and headed home. Kimani bought Dani a slice of pizza for dinner but Alex hadn't eaten yet, and was sitting on the subway like a ragdoll, all slumped over with no energy. Her eyes were half closed, and when I walked past her to sit down I told her not to fall asleep, or we'd leave her on the train.

Danielle and I were sitting next to each other and Alex was by herself - we could kick her, but she wasn't right next to us, and there were empty seats next to her. An old drunk-ass guy with a beard and a cane was across from Alex, reeking of booze. It was dark, but he had dark sunglasses on anyway. Some drunk-ass guy was talking to him, and at first I thought they were friends, but I don't think they were.

The second drunk-ass guy sat down near Alex - leaving a seat between them. He said something to her I couldn't hear, and she shook her head no. He leaned over towards her, putting his elbow on the seat between them, and said something to her again. She scooted over in her seat away from him, and that's when I started paying attention.

Drunk-ass made a fist, and put it on Alex's leg, and she moved again, and was now half off her seat. Just as I said, "Dude, don't touch her," ZZ Top said, "Hey, leave the kid alone." Drunk-ass looked up at ZZ Top and moved his hand off Alex, and started yelling at her, me, and all of us.

I felt Danielle touching my pocket and when I looked down she had my phone, and already put in 911, with her finger over the Talk button. Drunk-ass gave me the finger, and yelled, "What are you gonna do, bitch? Fuck you!" I glared back at him and grabbed Alex's jacket and pulled her onto my lap.

ZZ Top stood up and held the pole, and then I saw his hand was over the emergency button.

At the next stop, Drunk-ass gave us all a big "FUCK YOU" and stumbled onto the platform. He stood by the side of the train and was yelling at it when we pulled away. I shoved Alex back onto her seat, and ZZ Top motioned to me to come over. When I went to sit next to him to hear him better, he shook my hand and told me not to worry about the other guy, that he was a Vietnam Veteran. Then he kept drunkenly yammering on about how what the other guy did was wrong but Alex is a pretty girl and she should do what she wants in life and fly like an angel despite whatever our mother tells her to do, and how she has pretty hair and his grandmother had long hair down to her ankles and she'd pin it up in a knot and he went on and on.

Look, I read all about Agent Orange. I don't care if you saved a million people in the 60's - that doesn't mean you get to scare girls on trains a few decades later. You just don't.

Good Gets Better

Because Friday night went so horribly due to my headache, Josh asked me yesterday if I wanted to go out to dinner tonight instead. We went into the city and walked around for a long time talking - it was really nice. I know maybe it sounds cliche, but fall in New York is my favorite time of year. Nothing is better.

Josh thinks so differently - it blows my mind. It was a lot of fun to hang out just the two of us and not be in a rush. I could have walked around the city with him all night.

I got a refurbished Macbook - it arrived tonight. This post that you're reading now? Courtesy of my brand new bright white beautiful new laptop. Which by the way is so much lighter than my old, crappy laptop. All I have to do is get my craptop juiced up once more to transfer everything over, delete it all, and then recycle it. Originally we were going to fix it and let Alex and Dani use it but this is beyond repair.

Still looking for a job. I was talking to this girl Michelle, and she dances in a cage at a club and said she could probably get me a job with her. And that'd be cool - except I don't think it pays that much and ummm... I think dancing in a cage is something I want to do like once, to experience it. Not like a job all the time. So still looking.

But Danielle on the other hand! She wasn't even trying and got asked if she'd babysit every Saturday night for this cute one-year-old boy! And she is allowed to take Alex with her if she's home. So maybe Dani will save up her money to buy her own computer. Because I could buy her one, but ... when I took my summer job, I'd said the only money I was going to spend was the $20 per week and on a laptop for me.

So anyway. This week is going really well.

Drive Faster

Tomorrow night cannot come fast enough. Dani comes home around 9 or 10 p.m. Her friend's mom said if it's late, they'll just bring her here Monday morning but I said no, she should come home no matter how late it is. If Dani gets here Monday morning, then that's all day I won't see her.

Alex and I are so excited that we totally cleaned today. Well, except for the oven. There's no self-cleaning thing and I was going to buy oven cleaner but had to buy a power cord instead.

Oh! So let's talk about going to Comp USA for a power cord. I brought in my old one and asked the guy if they had a new one exactly the same. I'd written down the kind of laptop I have too. Totally prepared. The guy tells me they don't sell the power cord I have, but I can buy a universal power cord, and I'll have 21 days to return it if it's wrong.

There were a whole bunch of different kinds, but they were all either $80 or $130. Just my luck, the kind that was compatible with my laptop was the more expensive one. At least three times the guy stresses their 21-day return policy. I knew I was going to take home the power cord and try it right away. As the guy at the cash register took my money he also told me about the 21-day return policy.

Brought home my power cord, and totally shredded the box trying to rip it open. I had to use scissors and everything. Get it open, only to see this power cord is weird. Maybe it would have worked, but it's not right. I called Josh, and he said there's no way it should have cost that much. I told him though, there were only two prices and the guy showed me how my laptop wasn't listed as compatible with the $80 power cord.

Josh insists it's wrong, and tells me to go return it, and he'll order me one from online (which I couldn't do at the time, since I had like 45 seconds of computer use before my battery would die) and I can pay him back. So the next morning, I put the expensive power cord, all the pieces of packaging, and the receipt in a bag and go back to Comp USA to return it.

The girl tells me it's not returnable. I'm like, "But I have my receipt and everything." I tell her two different guys told me I had 21 days, and I'm back in less than 24 hours. No. And she points to the receipt where it says something like "Computer parts can be exchanged only." So I tell her again, that both guys told me multiple times I had almost a month to return it. That they never used the word "exchange" once.

She kind of yelled at me about what the receipt said and I was freaking out about losing $130, and her manager heard and came over. You know that feeling when you know crying is coming? That's where I was. More and more people were getting on line behind me. Everybody was watching. He was like "I can see you're upset, but I'm sure you can see right here on the receipt where it says this."

So I told him that I didn't think that was fair, because obviously, people never get receipts until AFTER they've paid for things, and how could I know this return policy before buying my power cord if it's printed on the receipt, especially when the two Comp USA guys kept telling me I had 21 days? The manager guy kind of laughed and said they shouldn't have done that, they were wrong.

And I was like, well I shouldn't have to pay for their being wrong - take $65 from each guy, but not $130 from me.

The whole time I was going back and forth, there was the long line behind me, and the security guard was listening too. Finally, the manager said I was holding up the line, and the guy behind me said to him, "No, actually YOU are holding up the line, not her." And he got all huffy and said fine, he'd take my expensive-but-wrong power cord back but only this time. Hey, don't worry asshole, I'll NEVER buy anything at Comp USA again. And that is why my power cord problems are still going on.

Tomorrow night I am supposed to get shrunk, but I want to skip it to hang out with Dani instead. I wish I didn't have to work tomorrow. Aunt Elaine told me I seem gay with how excited I am to see Danielle, and I glared at her and she was like "You gotta admit, you girls are unnaturally close!" So I just glared at her more, and she said, "Don't give me that 'You gotta be fucking kidding me' look" but then we all laughed because I totally was.

Please Stand By

Power cord has finally died and I am computerless. I do not know how old people lived without them. I am like a little girl without her mommy. Oh wait...

A new one has been ordered, and when I get it and am back online, I will blog all about how Comp USA tried to screw me over because I am:

1. A girl
2. A kid
3. Maybe because of 1 AND 2.