Turístico

We have been in Barcelona all week. The first day here we ran into this old couple from Florida, of all places. It was their last day. They tried to give us advice, mostly of the "watch out for pickpockets" type. They kept mentioning it over and over, to the point that I started to wonder why they even came here since they clearly don't trust the people here.

Nobody's stolen anything from us, and it seems like all the people are very nice. This whole "total immersion" thing really works. My Spanish accent was always fine before, but I had to pay attention to make it come out that way. After two days it was effortless, and if I really listen to the people around us, I pick up about half a dozen words each day.

Josh and I have gotten into a really good groove. Every morning we go for a run, then lay out on the beach (it's not as hot as in NY, but hot enough), then go tourist-ing all afternoon. Then we go back to the hotel, change for dinner, and go out clubbing afterwards. Josh suggested we try to not get too drunk, but there have definitely been a few times where getting words out is hard, and people-watching is much easier.

Time

When we are home there is a lot to get done. There is school and work and other work and home and boyfriend and sisters and meals. It never stops.

In a way, it's exhausting and you always worry one of the balls being juggled will fall. Not only will it fall but you won't notice it's fallen until it's gotten moldy from laying broken on the ground for so long. On the other though, there's no down time to panic about anything. Sometimes in the shower you start thinking about the enormity of something and then realize there's somebody else waiting to take their shower and you haven't packed lunch yet.

I am in Spain. Bienvenida. The intensity of home is not here. It's humid, but not so hot you want create a law that anyone going on the train must shower with soap first. I know broken Spanish, but not any Catalan at all. When people talk, I don't even really bother listening to them because odds are good I won't understand what they say anyway. School is done. Forever. Josh's parents tried to talk to me about going to grad school but I don't want to. The whole point in picking the major I did was to go into a profession that would earn enough of a salary that wouldn't require more education.

My sisters are in good hands. I am not worrying about either one of them for the whole summer. There is no juggling. I have taken two fifteen-minute showers so far. Each meal eaten has involved sitting down. There is tons of time for everything. Time to think. Time to move slowly. Time to watch people. Time to stare at my boyfriend. Time to explore. It's insane how much time there is to do everything.

The good times definitely rolled

The first thing to know is that we didn't stay in the French Quarter. I thought we should and would, but Josh had other ideas, and we stayed at this weirdly named place. International House Hotel. In what way is it international? How can it be a house and a hotel? But it was fancy and pretty and fun to stay at. They have a spa. They double-booked the appointment Josh made me so they gave me a new one and a free pedicure.

We went to Zea Rotisserie twice - it was that good. It was in the warehouse district, and we wandered around a lot, looking at the houses.  I wanted to go to Cafe du Monde and Josh didn't - he'd heard it was just okay. But there was a day where he wanted to go on some haunted house tour thing and I didn't, so we split up and I went alone. Josh had good information; it was just okay. I was embarrassed to admit it. We also ate at Lilette and all I can say is, there is a lot of experimenting to be done at home in the kitchen now.  Josh heard something about bread pudding being really good, so we tried to find the best place. Brennan's and Court of Two Sisters won.

Although food was a big focus, we didn't wander around just stuffing our faces.  We pretended we like real music and went to Preservation Hall. Music you think you won't like always sounds better when you hear it live. We hung out in Jackson Square at night, looking at all the photos. I dragged Josh back during the day too. There was a dinner cruise thing, on a steamboat which was really fun. There was a streetcar along St. Charles that we rode on. We went into almost all the shops on Magazine Street - that's where I got my sisters presents.

It was so much fun. The more time we spent, the more things I found out about. Now I want to go back to do all the things we ran out of time for. The whole dynamic of Josh discovering things at the same time as me was so cool. He wasn't leading me around telling me about everything; we were figuring out stuff together.

Packing

Interning is over. It ended with a flurry of filing and being late to celebratory beverages. A little after 7:30 final hugs were given before running off to meet Josh, who'd insisted on taking me to dinner. Today I ate a hangover breakfast in bed, met up with Becca for a while, then went over to visit Dani at work and take her to lunch.

It was a little weird to see her/my boss. He gave me a hug though, saying it was great to see me. He asked if I was angling to get a job there after I graduate. Thinking about what the scary partner talked about at lunch the other day, I told him I'm just trying to create as many opportunities to choose from as possible. He kissed the top of my head. "Smart girl."

Danielle and I went to lunch and she told me the weird skinny guy is weird to her too. He laughs at things that are not funny, and asks bizarre questions out of nowhere. She's relieved to almost be finished having to deal with him, even though he's totally harmless.

When I got home the packing started. Tomorrow morning Josh and I leave for New Orleans. He'd asked what my criteria was for picking someplace to go and I told him somewhere near water, not too many hours of travel, and somewhere he's never been either.

Something about saying that got Josh all excited, even more than usual. I think he liked that there was a challenge involved. Josh spent all day looking stuff up, making notes, getting recs from friends on the best places to go. I don't speak French (unless ballet counts), but am excited anyway. Laissez les bons temps rouler.

Tourists never disappoint

There are many totally lovely tourists who go about their exploring quietly and happily. I like those tourists. They're usually foreign. Every time someone is loud and obnoxious, or going on and on about how unsafe it is here, it's clear we're dealing with an American. I'm not even stereotyping - it really IS only the Americans whose voices get high and screechy when they're shrieking at their children to get closer than three feet away from their parents.

Summertime always means more tourists, because everyone's out of school and on vacation. Today on the way home there were what I initially thought were two girls my age but really were one girl and her mother who hasn't accepted she's like 40 standing in front of me. They were talking about how crazy it was that the train was packed. Except it wasn't packed at all. They had twangs, and obviously out in Dallas or wherever they're from, nobody commutes on a train. They don't know from packed. If you can move six inches in every direction that's not a packed train. If you can lift your arm to fix your hair, that's not a packed train.

Yet they went on and on about how stuffed it was and how uncomfortable they were. I was exchanging eye rolls with a German couple when even more people got on the bus. The mother/daughter Dallas duo started getting all uppity. "Excuse me, Sir, I don't appreciate you touching me like that." The guy didn't "touch" her - he brushed past her to move towards the back which is exactly what you're supposed to do. Touching is purposely putting your hand on someone.

You know what? Manhattan is fucking crowded. Get over it, or don't come here. It's the most popular city in the country. If you can't take a second to logic out that tons of other people also want to see it, then you don't deserve to come here.

Not a baby

Some days I can do so much on my own, working around my arm and while it's not exactly like forgetting it's useless, there's just a point where it's like, I'm at peace with working around it. With everything taking longer. But at least now I know how long things take. Plus that I'll have to go back and clean up messes from only having one hand to do them with. Like writing this and going back to fix all the typos. It helps that it's just until the end of this month. If I were like a vet who'd become one-armed or something I probably wouldn't be so non-bitchy about the whole thing.

I told Josh a while ago that I wanted him to hang out with my friends more. Like, out. Not just when someone comes over and he happens to be home. So tonight we went to dinner with Becca and her boyfriend. It is embarrassing how excited I was. I didn't even wear a black top.

Somehow we were lucky enough to be seated next to a drunk couple. We could smell the booze radiating off them. It was kind of weird - they were like this middle-aged trashy drunk couple out to dinner. Who got even more drunk while they were at dinner. It was highly amusing for us. Not so much for the waitstaff.

When our food came, I realized my arm had been forgotten so much that I hadn't taken care in planning my food. Now steak that needed cutting was sitting on a plate in front of me. I looked over at Josh while he was in a deep conversation with Becca's boyfriend and slid my plate in front of him. The hope was that he'd just realize and cut my steak for me.

At some point in the middle of talking Josh looked down. I watched his thoughts as if there were thought bubbles popping up. "Wait, this isn't my food." "Well did Sam get the right thing?" "Oh!" He promptly picked up a knife and started cutting my steak up for me. Becca kicked me under the table and mouthed, "Whipped" at me.

The drunk guy saw Josh put my plate of cut-up food in front of my place and take his plate back. It flipped the Drunk switch to Crazy Drunk. "Girl you is spoilt! You hear? SPOILT! You probly only blow your man on his birthday! Then make him buy you Juicy and diamonds. You spoilt! You akx his ass to cut yo meat? Girl please!"

On one hand it was hysterically funny and Becca and I were dying with barely-contained laughter. On the other hand, the drunk guy was so angry at my spoiled ass it was a real concern he'd slap me or take away my food. So I slowly pulled my arm out of my lap and put my cast on the table so he could see it.

Yeah it didn't help. "Oh girly broke her arm. Probably throwing a tantrum for your man to buy you sumfin. Or there was cousins (roaches) and you done freaked out breaking your spoilt ass arm. You big spoilt baby!" By now we were all just flat out laughing in the guy's face. His wife, girlfriend, whatever was also drunk but not quite as bad as he was. She told Becca her name was Nevelyn and they were visiting from Delaware. Becca was like "I think it's time you take your man back to Delaware. Visit's over."

One state, four days

I think it's pronounced Bahhhhhston, and not Bawston. I was given tomorrow off, and as soon as Josh found out, he got all excited and scurried off to do research. It feels like we've seen the entire state of Massachusetts. Cambridge, Harvard, Boston Duck Tours, Holocaust Memorial, Plymouth Rock, Tree Canopy Walkway in Worcester (which we almost didn't do because I only had flip flops so Josh bought me sneakers so I could do it), walked around Beacon Hill, went to an indoor trampoline park, whale watch tour on a boat and New England Aquarium, Salem, and I don't know what we're doing tomorrow before we go home. There is a Gap on almost every corner in Boston.

We aren't even going to Cape Cod or Martha's Vineyard because Josh says there's not enough time. I can't believe how much history is here. I mean, you know it, but to actually walk around seeing it everywhere you turn blows you away. Every night we fall into bed exhausted. I was prepared to not do the Tree Canopy thing when they said we needed sneakers and flip flops weren't allowed. Josh was like no, this is too cool, we need to do this. That's how I wound up with a new pair of Converse.

Of course Josh has friends in Boston, so someone has lent us a car. The connections he seems to have everywhere blow me away. I don't know anyone. His circle is so much larger. From the airport we took a taxi to someone's house, rang the doorbell, and a woman had us come in, have lemonade and gave him keys to the car next door. I was really confused at first, but finally got it sorted out that his parents know the car people, and the woman we met was just the neighbor holding the keys for him since they were on vacation. Which is why they don't need their car.

The coolest thing so far was when we were in the suburbs somewhere, and Josh pulled into a parking lot. He hopped out of the car, so I got out too, and he let me drive. It was INSANE! I thought it would be really hard to only use one foot, but it wasn't. I kept trying to center myself in the aisles until Josh pointed out I wasn't sitting in the center of the car. I have tried to offer to pay at a gas station a few times, but Josh wouldn't let me.

He hasn't let me pay for anything except breakfast every morning (Dunkin' Donuts = breakfast of champions!) and pizza one day. It makes me cringe to think of how much Josh has spent, so I kind of am trying not to. When we were on the boat I couldn't stop humming the "I'm on a boat" song and Josh kept giggling. We may not have been the most maturely behaved but it was tons of fun.I thought all I wanted to do was lay on a beach doing nothing, but this has been crazy fun. Oh excuse me. Wicked. Wicked fun.

Flying coach and swimming with dolphins

We left Miami today. Goodbye, grapefruit-boobed girls! Goodbye Ritz Carlton with the fancy bathtub!

I made fun of Josh for slumming it on coach airplane seats; he confessed this was only his second time not being in first class seats. It was pretty funny. I was almost positive we weren't going to be sitting next to goats or anything. Before we left I was reading stuff people wrote about flying, and there was a lot about cruel flight attendants, but I didn't notice that at all. There was no hot towel but everyone seemed just as nice on this flight as they were on the other one. There was just a lot less space. Being tall really sucks on airplanes.

Josh had asked before we left Manhattan, back when he was planning this trip, if I wanted to go swimming with dolphins, and I was so torn. I freaking love animals. I saw Free Willy. I remember talking to my mom about Elian Gonzalez and how he claimed dolphins helped him stay afloat. The idea of playing in the water with animals seems so outrageously cool! But I also saw The Cove.

Ultimately I feel like if I want to play with dolphins the way to do that is to become a vet. Something about such a big mammal being in such a small enclosure feels wrong to me. Only the ones that have been so injured that they wouldn't survive in the ocean should be kept. But forcing them to perform every day rubs me the wrong way. The idea of people screaming and banging on the glass bothers me. I don't want to contribute to that in any way. Even though I'd love to go swimming with dolphins, until you can show me them communicating that they like it, I won't do it. So we didn't go to Sea World.

Today was a very packed day. We went for one last walk on the beach in Miami, then flew to Disney, and after checking in looked into going to one of the two water parks, but both were closed for refurbishments. We wound up going to Hollywood Studios, which was a lot of fun. To be honest, I'm not really into the animation or Disney stuff, but they had a lot of special effects stuff for movies that was cool. After dinner, we went to Cirque du Soleil which was probably the most awesome thing I ever saw in my entire life. I need to find a way for my sisters to see it in New York. Seriously, I could watch that every single day and never get tired of it. I definitely want to buy my sisters stuff that's Cirque du Soleil themed before we leave here.

Tomorrow we go to Epcot. Josh said it'll be a good place for me to see before we go out of the country since it shows a little of what each country is like. The place we're staying has a little kitchen so we got eggs and fruit and I'm going to make breakfast before we head out. I asked Josh if he feels like he's hemorrhaging money on this trip. "Not at all, but I bet you know down to the nickel how much you've spent so far." It's true, I do. When we were on the plane, Josh tried to give me a pep-talk about how to do vacations. He suggested that for me, making a vacation budget might be a good idea, so I could take a vacation from worrying about money, because it's already been stressed over and decided before starting. Then I could, in Josh's fantasy, I wouldn't think about it as long as I was pulling from what had been put in the vacation budget. I see his point. I don't know if I can do it, but we'll see.

This is the part where I am a judgmental bitch: some of the people I saw today were the biggest cliches of tourists. Big white sneakers, fanny packs, capri pants, and Disney clothing. Josh said you really have to make peace with tacky tourists in order to travel, and just not get too close so people don't think you're like them.

Much, much worse than the way they dress, was how I saw them acting. At dinner we were seated next to a family, and after they ordered they sat around talking about taking a picture for at least 15 minutes. Right when the waitstaff came over to deliver the food, that's when the family decided it was time to take the picture. They actually asked the servers to stand there and hold hot plates full of food during a busy dinner service while they took pictures. Maybe it was the old hostess in me kicking in, but I was tempted to ask their server how much they tipped. At the diner, it was almost always the highest maintenance customers who tipped worst (except for the foreigners who often didn't tip at all).

Randoms

- at dinner we talked about getting a dog. the two things I'm worried about are having the time to train it really well, and however much it would cost with vet bills and stuff. oh and plus not having enough time to play with it. wait and also, if Josh and I break up, who would the dog belong to?

- it's totally ridiculous but I am still on the hunt for a dress. maybe once a week or something i'll look around at a few sites (if it's too many i get overwhelmed). i finally found a dress I like! too bad it was $495. that is not a typo.

- there must be something in the air. i have had a headache all day but it turns out a lot of other people have too. so at least we are not alone.

- dinner was tomato soup and grilled cheese, with green beans. it was a beautifully colorful dinner.

- my new favorite place to get bagels is Ess-a-Bagel.

- someone asked if i recommend living in the city or if it is too much for someone who's from out in the middle of nowhere. this is an impossible question to answer. maybe they absolutely love cows and feel crowded in malls. if they're that kind of person then NY is not for them. if they are gay and feel completely alone, or super artsy and need creative stimulation then NY may be for them. if they are the type who looks like a target, can't fight, and are afraid of their own shadow then NY is probably not for them. if they have one iota of street smarts then even if they get mugged they'll probably bounce back from it.

some people really love it here, and they get everything that's great about it. they love cab drivers who drive crazy, and understand that when you are on the train you push people with your body but never with your hands. other people really WANT the lady at the post office to ask where they're going when they get a passport, and for the checkout guy at the supermarket to ask if they're having a party when they buy a bag of chips.

And then I went apple-picking

Two papers, two tests, and one quiz. Maybe I'm just not that sensitive, but I just went home and did dinner and schoolwork and studying and sistering and then Friday after work I packed a bag and went upstate with Josh and two other people and we went apple-picking and to a pumpkin farm (field?) and stayed until Monday afternoon.

You can't really grow up in the shitty section of the Bronx and avoid getting flashed. Or seeing a guy squat down, face a wall, and light up a crack pipe. Or avoid walking past an alleyway and seeing a hooker blowing a guy. Or avoid getting propositioned by a pimp. When I told Josh on Friday what had happened, he pointed out that most nannies have probably been propositioned at work at least once if not more.

I never went upstate before - any time I've left the city, it's been to go out to Long Island. The other guy who came on the upstate trip is one of Josh's good friends he's known forever, and he brought his girlfriend. As we crossed through Scarsdale, Josh's friend asked if I'd ever left lower New York before. When I said no, he laughed and said I should have gone to the Fresh Air Fund and everyone laughed at that. I did not find it all that funny, and when he asked if I even had a passport Josh changed the subject.

We stayed at a bed and breakfast - it's like half hotel, half house. It was like on Gilmore Girls, but less wacky people. Josh told me you can take the toiletries and it's not stealing but I had a hard time believing that. We spent Saturday just exploring the area and stopping anywhere that looked interesting. Apparently people go driving in CT and upstate New York in the fall to look at the changing leaves, which seems totally crazy to me. Josh wanted to stop at an outlet mall because he thought I should see one, but his friend's girlfriend got very upset and said I absolutely should never buy anything from an outlet store.

Josh said an outlet mall is full of stuff that didn't sell in regular stores or extras that were made but didn't even get sent to stores. The girl said though, it's things that are flawed in some way, or stuff that never sold after tons of people tried it on. She said I can do much better just shopping the good sales at regular department stores if I don't care about having things from the previous season.

When I asked Josh if he ever actually bought anything at an outlet store he admitted he never has. I am not sure I can afford the kinds of things she buys. She had a Bottega Veneta bag that she told me she doesn't even really like, but just got on a whim. She probably spent more on her bag than I spend in three years on clothes. I didn't buy anything at the outlet mall.

Sunday we went to an apple orchard and picked apples. They give you a big basket, and you can take a wagon to put the baskets on and pull which we did. The woman at the front had index cards with recipes for things you can make with apples, and I pretty much took one of each. You can freeze applesauce, right?

There were lots of antique stores and we stopped in a few to look around. After the second one it kind of seemed the same, and were the type of places to call themselves shoppes. There were also candle and soap stores and they all smelled very flowery, and not in a good way. There was a store where they made fudge, and that place did smell good. We found an old timey ice cream store and that was great.

On Monday we went to a place that has horses and went horseback riding which was crazy fun - it felt like I was falling every time the horse moved. It was my first time and didn't fall off, so it's going down as a success. Then we went to a pumpkin field and went on a hayride. After we picked pumpkins we had lunch and then drove home. It was really funny being a tourist somewhere. I tried to not be an annoying one. I am going to be up crazy-late each night this week cooking.

Horrified

Dani came home almost in tears. She was on the train standing near a tourist couple who were sitting down. The husband wanted the wife to go up to the front to ask a question. The wife was scared she'd fall trying to stand and walk while the train was moving.

Danielle said the man looked at his wife with total venom and snapped, ""Phyllis, are you an engineer? Exactly. You're not an engineer, you never know anything because you are stupid, but you keep sticking your nose into things you know nothing about. Keep your mouth shut and just go find out for me."

How does anyone put up with being talked to like that from someone who is supposed to be an equal? If Josh ever said that to me I'd pack up my sisters and be out of here so fast his head would spin. How does anyone come to think they have the right to talk to someone that way? Isn't he so embarrassed to be caught being such an asshole in public?

Survey This

Alex doesn't really remember what she's missing. She will sometimes smell something and say it reminds her, but mostly I think she remembers me and Danielle telling mommy stories, not the actual times when those stories became memories for us. I decided it hurts me more, because I remember how it used to be, how good it was, how far we've fallen. As far as Alex is concerned, this way is the only way. She has a very hard time sleeping in a room by herself, because she's never done it.

Dani remembers because she was like my little puppy. She followed me everywhere, to the point that I tripped over her sometimes. She knew to keep her mouth shut and eyes open, wasn't annoying, and so I didn't mind her always being there. Danielle is the person you want around when you've lost your keys, because she is always so observant. Danielle can't always think of the memories I can but if I remind her she usually remembers. Like when I made soup and used all four burners on the stove because we don't have a stock pot and I had to use four little pots instead.

Dani wandered into the kitchen, looked at the stove and said, "Didn't Mama do this once?" She did. We had a leak once in Brooklyn and Mama put the stock pot on the floor to catch the leak while we waited for the plumber. But Topher was sick and she wanted to make soup for him so she used smaller pots and all four burners.

Alex had a birthday party (for a sixth grader) at Chelsea Piers yesterday so we went into the city. Afterwards, we were waiting for the bus and a little girl came up to us. She looked around seven and had silver nailpolish that was chipped. She told Alex she was doing a survey and could she ask a question. I hate this shit - I don't want to talk to random strangers on the street, even if they're wearing stupid Hannah Montana sneakers. But Alex is all open and friendly and thinks everyone is a potential friend, so she said yes.

"Who do you love more, your mommy or your daddy?"

Are you fucking kidding me? But Alex didn't get angry. "I don't have a dad and my mom died a long time ago." The girl looked at her chart. "You have to pick one of them. Or I have a spot for both if you love them equally."

"You're not from here, are you?" I asked her. She shook her head. Told me she lives outside Philly and is on vacation. "Yeah, so don't they have any gay or lesbian parents in Philly? What about the kids who have two moms or two dads?"

The girl looked at her chart again. Then turned to her mother who was waiting (outside, in the freezing cold) like across the sidewalk. The mother comes over smiling, with her face all open. You can tell this mother will make the girl write about how she did something different on a vacation by taking a survey in New York City.

The girl told on me to her mother. "She said we don't have a spot for gay moms and dads." The mother blinked a lot at her daughter. Alex defended me by telling on the girl. "She doesn't have a spot for people who don't have parents."

I pulled Alex's jacket. "I think she's having a seizure because we overloaded them on their special city experience." The mother finally got her blinking under control and took her daughter's hand. "Well, good luck with that!" she told us. They turned to walk away.

"We don't need luck," Alex responded. She waved her hand around. "We have ... US." The mother was still dragging the Hannah Montana girl away while she complained that she'd already counted Alex and now her survey would be messed up.

When we got home Alex was excited for Dani to get back from work to tell her what had happened. Danielle pointed out the girl's survey was terrible, that she left out kids who only lived with one parent, or kids who lived with another relative. Some people are so closed minded and stupid.