Alex was sleeping in my room because she doesn't "want to inhale Dani's sick air and become a pig like her." Wish she had asked before just climbing into my bed last night and Josh found her there.
When he came out of the bedroom to tell me Alex was there I was in the middle of homework and didn't really pay that much attention. Later when I took a break and went in to look at Alex, I shoved her way over to the edge of the bed, figuring I would just sleep in the middle.
After a while I noticed Josh was basically hovering over me so I finally put down my pen and was like "What?" That's when he said he wanted to go to sleep but there was no way he could get in a bed with an 11 year old. Which, when I write that out, looks horrible, but I swear my sisters and I have shared beds for like our whole lives so I think nothing of it. Sometimes living with a boy is way complicated.
So first I said I'd wake Alex up and tell her to go back to her bed. Turns out Josh has like really firm beliefs that you should never wake someone up if they're sleeping. So he said he'd go sleep on the couch. Except that Josh was huffing around acting all put out about it. So then I offered that we could move Alex to the couch but Josh didn't like that either because he felt it might wake her.
That's how we had our first big fight, complete with yelling. Which woke Alex up. If I'm honest I will admit that made me happy and yes I know that's fucked up of me. I was pissed off though which is why I told Alex when she asked why we were yelling that it was because Josh wanted her sleeping on the couch if she wasn't going to sleep with Danielle. Then Josh got really mad at me that I was making him out to be the bad guy to Alex and that we were acting like he was uptight and wrong when really we should understand that it was weird to have Alex sleeping in our bed.
Such a fucking mess. Alex went back to sleep, on the couch. I didn't even want to sleep in the same bed with Josh after such a retarded fight. Plus I am still kind of bitter.
2 comments:
These are they types of things that have to just get worked on when you start living with a guy, some of the stuff I've argued about in retrospect is just weird and dumb, but at the time made me so friggin' mad. It'll be alright, plus it's a good thing for people to learn to bend a bit for one another in a relationship, making new boundaries with others outside of that relationship is one of those things.
Good luck on it, I'm sure you both will do just fine on it:)
-Lil'sis
I'm so sorry Dani has swine flu! That sounds miserable.
It's probably good for Alex to realize she doesn't have free access to you anymore. That's part of you being in a relationship--part of your life is just about you and Josh now.
Speaking as someone who worked with girls who were abused, Josh was right to not get in bed with an 11-year old. Of course everything would be innocent, but if Alex mentioned it at school (or wherever), you'd have Child Protective people ALL over your business.
I wonder if underneath the fight are the issues of Josh and you figuring out what the boundaries need to be, how to define your space individually and as a couple. All of those issues are totally normal to fight through.
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