Who the hell has a party at a shitty diner? People are so fucking weird. Josh had said he'd meet me at the end of work but they wound up asking me to stay late to help with the party. I took dessert orders and helped prepare them to be served and poured coffee.
Had to call Josh and tell him not to come. He showed up later anyway. He's good like that. That's why I'm writing this from his room. Okay, that's not true. I mean it is - this is his bedroom, but we'd made this plan yesterday.
Supposedly we're broken up. Hooking up with other people is totally legal. Except neither of us are dating anyone else. I didn't tell Josh about Tristan and didn't ask what (who?) he did over the summer. I don't know what we're doing. I don't know what's supposed to happen when we graduate.
My goal is to be all "live in the moment" and just have fun now. That's really hard when everything about this year is about planning for next year.
Showing posts with label Tristan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tristan. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Summer Drama
It's always either raining or about to rain these days. The air is heavy and you just want the rain to come already, so you can go for a walk in it and feel water droplets rolling past your collar while you think all kinds of deep and depressing thoughts.
Wendy wanted us to go to her country club despite the crappy weather so we hung out inside. She went off to do whatever it is she does - it always involves drinks and other mothers. I set Nora up at the art table and wandered off to find Tristan so I could ignore him where he could see me (see? I'm really good at the flirting).
We pretended to ignore each other for a couple of hours. I had a book and Nora - he had his lifeguard friends and the girls who stalk and flirt with him. They hate me, because he ignores them to pay attention to me, and they know I'm there because I'm working, and not because I'm a club member.
They follow me into the bathrooms and glare, trying to intimidate me. They glare and whisper to each other about how ugly I am, or whatever they've read to do in their Mean Girls manual. Except they're suburbs girls, and they don't know what to do with me since I pretend to ignore them. If I stepped up to one I bet she'd crap her pants for sure.
Tristan pulled me into an empty banquet hall and we made out against chairs up against the walls. We left to get Nora and bring her to a story time. She didn't want me to stay - she was the only kid who didn't have someone with her. Naturally Tristan and I walked off again, and it felt like only two minutes later that Nora came up to me. We were in the hallway across from story time, so while we were far, she couldn't have gone anywhere without walking past us.
Nora asked if I'm going to have a baby with Tristan and he choked on his drink. She wants everyone around her to have a baby, but only a girl baby. There is drop-in babysitting at the club and Tristan wants me to dump Nora there one morning when it's raining so we can hang out the whole time. Tempting, but it can't happen. Wendy would fire me.
Tired, going to sleep.
Wendy wanted us to go to her country club despite the crappy weather so we hung out inside. She went off to do whatever it is she does - it always involves drinks and other mothers. I set Nora up at the art table and wandered off to find Tristan so I could ignore him where he could see me (see? I'm really good at the flirting).
We pretended to ignore each other for a couple of hours. I had a book and Nora - he had his lifeguard friends and the girls who stalk and flirt with him. They hate me, because he ignores them to pay attention to me, and they know I'm there because I'm working, and not because I'm a club member.
They follow me into the bathrooms and glare, trying to intimidate me. They glare and whisper to each other about how ugly I am, or whatever they've read to do in their Mean Girls manual. Except they're suburbs girls, and they don't know what to do with me since I pretend to ignore them. If I stepped up to one I bet she'd crap her pants for sure.
Tristan pulled me into an empty banquet hall and we made out against chairs up against the walls. We left to get Nora and bring her to a story time. She didn't want me to stay - she was the only kid who didn't have someone with her. Naturally Tristan and I walked off again, and it felt like only two minutes later that Nora came up to me. We were in the hallway across from story time, so while we were far, she couldn't have gone anywhere without walking past us.
Nora asked if I'm going to have a baby with Tristan and he choked on his drink. She wants everyone around her to have a baby, but only a girl baby. There is drop-in babysitting at the club and Tristan wants me to dump Nora there one morning when it's raining so we can hang out the whole time. Tempting, but it can't happen. Wendy would fire me.
Tired, going to sleep.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Tired
It's as if my battery is totally dying. Yesterday and today I have just been completely exhausted. I slept so hard last night. Today instead of playing with Nora I sat on the side of the pool while she was in it. Then after she woke from her nap I just laid on the couch while she played in the living room. I kept suggesting things that involve sitting quietly - reading books, doing puzzles, anything but running around.
Could not muster up enough energy to go out after work. Tristan asked me out and I had to say no. Normally when I work the dinner shift, I walk around the tables near the front to help, but not today. Today I sat at the register and did not get up.
Dragged myself home from work. So tired. Want to sleep for a week.
Could not muster up enough energy to go out after work. Tristan asked me out and I had to say no. Normally when I work the dinner shift, I walk around the tables near the front to help, but not today. Today I sat at the register and did not get up.
Dragged myself home from work. So tired. Want to sleep for a week.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Juggling
If I learn nothing else this summer, I am learning how to flirt without being noticed (and hated) by the other girls who like the guy I'm flirting with (at? the guy with whom I am flirting?). The key seems to be in not flirting at all. A negative equals a positive. I just pay attention to Nora, and we do handstands and flips and races in the pool all morning, and then right when I'm getting out of the pool, I grin at Tristan and boom. All my flirting is done for the morning. It's like meeting a quota. Meanwhile Nora and I sit on a towel eating a pre-lunch snack and I watch the other girls push their Chanel sunglasses up like headbands, readjust their boobs when they think nobody's looking, and lean against the lifeguard chair smiling up at Tristan in all his gorgeous glory.
Tristan is fun. After work last night I went to his house. We ate ice cream, fooled around and watched movies. While 30 Days was on we watched Morgan Spurlock and his girlfriend attempt to live on minimum wage for a month. Morgan and his girlfriend complained about being tired, cold, having ants. "That's disgusting. I would never live like that," Tristan said as he touched my boob. As if it's a choice. I mean, it is for them, but for the people who can't pack up and leave after the month ends, it's not.
I got up early this morning to pay bills. Alex sat with me, and manned the calculator while I sorted the bills into order. Most urgent to least. Cable and medical bills go on the bottom. Aunt Elaine is snarfing up all our food, and we have taken to hiding everything we can in our bedroom. Do I spend more money on food or on Combat? We owe $189 for a doctor's visit in March. That's not getting paid this month. Maybe tomorrow I will call them and ask if they can lower the bill. One of the most important things to know is that you can't believe everything you overhear on the trains. But I heard someone say once that doctors will lower what they charge you sometimes if you just ask, and it's true.
Alex asked if she's going to cost less money when she's older. I say more. We have to get Danielle all this stuff for her high school. "But I'll stop growing when I'm bigger," Alex said. Not soon enough though. It's so good we're all girls, we can pass clothes down. The bummer is when they're season specific and can't get worn before they're grown out of. That's why Alex needed to get a brand new bathing suit this year. Danielle's old one fit her in February when she tried it on. Come June it was too tight.
We paid four bills, with Alex putting on the stamps and writing our return address. She thinks paying bills is fun. Without paying cable or that doctor, we have $46 left. We'll have less when school starts. Danielle and I both get lunch for free from our jobs. When I work at the diner I can get dinner free too. Some days between both jobs and free breakfasts I don't eat anything at home. We're still short each month and I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong. On the way out this morning Alex asked Dani what she thought - if she'll cost more or less when she's older. "Let's just say ... don't get your period until you can afford to buy your own tampons," Danielle finally concluded.
Tristan is fun. After work last night I went to his house. We ate ice cream, fooled around and watched movies. While 30 Days was on we watched Morgan Spurlock and his girlfriend attempt to live on minimum wage for a month. Morgan and his girlfriend complained about being tired, cold, having ants. "That's disgusting. I would never live like that," Tristan said as he touched my boob. As if it's a choice. I mean, it is for them, but for the people who can't pack up and leave after the month ends, it's not.
I got up early this morning to pay bills. Alex sat with me, and manned the calculator while I sorted the bills into order. Most urgent to least. Cable and medical bills go on the bottom. Aunt Elaine is snarfing up all our food, and we have taken to hiding everything we can in our bedroom. Do I spend more money on food or on Combat? We owe $189 for a doctor's visit in March. That's not getting paid this month. Maybe tomorrow I will call them and ask if they can lower the bill. One of the most important things to know is that you can't believe everything you overhear on the trains. But I heard someone say once that doctors will lower what they charge you sometimes if you just ask, and it's true.
Alex asked if she's going to cost less money when she's older. I say more. We have to get Danielle all this stuff for her high school. "But I'll stop growing when I'm bigger," Alex said. Not soon enough though. It's so good we're all girls, we can pass clothes down. The bummer is when they're season specific and can't get worn before they're grown out of. That's why Alex needed to get a brand new bathing suit this year. Danielle's old one fit her in February when she tried it on. Come June it was too tight.
We paid four bills, with Alex putting on the stamps and writing our return address. She thinks paying bills is fun. Without paying cable or that doctor, we have $46 left. We'll have less when school starts. Danielle and I both get lunch for free from our jobs. When I work at the diner I can get dinner free too. Some days between both jobs and free breakfasts I don't eat anything at home. We're still short each month and I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong. On the way out this morning Alex asked Dani what she thought - if she'll cost more or less when she's older. "Let's just say ... don't get your period until you can afford to buy your own tampons," Danielle finally concluded.
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