Undermining efforts

Over the last month some pretty big things have happened and shifted. For example, do you guys know about chocolate? I just discovered it! Previously, I was never into chocolate bars. It was just ... too much. A little chocolate sauce? Fine. Chocolate cake? Sure. But eating a hunk of chocolate never appealed to me. Until a month ago. Dark chocolate with sea salt? Heaven! In two weeks I ate an entire bar that flavor. I like to take a little piece and suck on it after a meal. How did I go so long without enjoying this aspect of life? Has everyone else known all along?

Hey, did you know you can inject human growth hormone into your skin to stop the aging process? Yeah, just get some vials of it and inject yourself. No problem. Oh wait. One small, tiny problem. IF YOU HAVE CANCER! Why, you ask? Well, while HGH stops the aging process, it has the word "growth" in it, and do you know what it grows? Cancer cells! That's right, if you inject yourself with human growth hormones, it will speed the growth of cancerous tumors, cancer cells, and you are basically fighting all the chemo and other drugs you're ingesting in an effort to kill the cancer.

The anger I felt upon finding out she's been doing this was so overwhelming that I couldn't have Laurie in our place. To think of how much work we've put in to help her, and she's doing something to make it harder? She's Jewish - when she dies it'll be a closed casket anyway. So why is she speeding up the death? Nobody will notice how good she looks once she dies; we'll just be sad she's dead. Apparently she is friends with a neighbor who is a doctor who gave her these vials. I asked Josh why the guy is not being reported to the AMA or whatever.

Last Thursday, Laurie went to chemo, and had another allergic reaction, complete with being rushed to the ER section of the hospital. She was released about four hours later, but this is terrible. The best chemo cocktail to kill her cancer is one she's developed an allergy to? Not such a happy new year. When Josh and I were talking about goals and stuff for this year, at first it was things like getting into Cuba, doing the NYC marathon, and then it took a very dark turn. "I don't even know if my mom will stay alive the whole year!" What do you say to that? Especially when you've just found out she's been undermining her own treatment? 

Back in the saddle. Except not quite.

Laurie restarted chemo. The first week didn't go well. Then this week, they tested her blood levels (I guess they were testing something IN her blood rather than HOW MUCH blood she had in there, but who knows?) and they were way too low, so they wouldn't do the chemo.

When Laurie had her tumor removal surgery, they figured out how to grow the tumors artificially, and then tested about 90 different types of chemo on them to see which type worked and that's how they decided which chemo to use on her this go-around. It's different from the chemo she had last time. I guess it ravages her body more than the old chemo did?

I came home around 7:30 tonight, and Laurie was super pissed that her chemo-ing didn't happen today. She was slamming around the kitchen cooking dinner. Danielle whispered to me, "She's going to break something," but I pointed out we couldn't say anything. Half our kitchen stuff comes from her house.

After changing out of my work clothes, I went into the kitchen and offered to help. "I don't NEED help. What I NEED is for my body to WORK." Josh immediately zoomed over and pulled me away, while telling his mom he knew she was upset but she can't speak to me that way.

In sum, not a great day. 

Maybe I'm developing weird food issues

A lot of Josh's friends are eccentric. I guess when you're rich you can get away with it. Or at least, you attempt to. We were invited to a holiday party. I've met the girl a couple of times, and although she's not my type of person, she's okay enough that Josh told her yes, we'd attend.

She texted me today.
Her: You're coming Friday night, right?
Me: Yeah, can't wait, see you then
Her: Okay great, and don't forget to bring the cookies
Me: Oh, we're supposed to bring cookies? Okay
Her: I heard you're a really good cook
Me: We can bring some cookies
Her: Homemade
Me: Okay
Her: Oh, and can you bring a tray of appetizers? Like four or six dozen or so
Me: Sorry, won't have time
Her: Well, can you bring a side dish? Veggies of some sort
Me: Wait, are we hosting this party with you and nobody told me?
Her: Okay so I'll put you in for the cookies, two apps, and a veg
Me: Hell no. We can bring cookies.
Her: Okay, well and whatever else you can whip up
Me: It'll just be cookies

What the fuck was that? Some of Josh's friends really try to treat me like The Help, and it pisses me off royally. You can bet those cookies will be store-bought. I may even buy day-old stale ones, just to make myself feel better. She comes from a world of parties. Why isn't she having her parents cater her party, like all the rich kids do? Why is she trying to talk me into bringing homemade food? You know damn well this girl doesn't have a real job. I guarantee she works part time at a museum or some bullshit like that. 

Bandanas and glasses

Laurie now wears a hat any time she leaves the house. None of us can see any hair loss, still. On Tuesday when I came home from work, Laurie was dressed as a Crip with a blue bandana on her head, and an outfit that matched it. In a complete coincidence, I was wearing a red dress. Alex took one look and started humming that Jets/Sharks song from West Side Story.

At dinner we found out that Laurie had ordered her bandana online. We were all trying not to laugh as we gently let her know in the future she could buy them at the drugstore down the street.

Josh told his sister she's got to get out and spend less time at our house. She is breaking and neglecting our stuff (yes, I realize a lot of this is stuff Josh stole from his parents' kitchen, but at least we take good care of it) left and right. We are down half a dozen drinking glasses, two wine glasses, and more. She routinely (still eats all our food) neglects to close the refrigerator all the way. She uses knives (like, chef knives) to slice open cardboard boxes and leaves them all over the house. Including on the floor once.

Please do not worry that she will be homeless, because she won't. She can go stay at her parents' house. She can go stay with friends. She can get her own apartment. But she can not stay here, breaking our things and making messes. We are trying to transfer her from being a family member who should make herself at home, to a guest. Who sits primly on the couch and doesn't go in the kitchen. Ever.

P.S. Thank you for the article. I showed it to Josh's dad. 

Hovering and shoveling

The scary partner sent word that she wanted to speak with me today. I wasn't on a client today so spent 10 hours hovering around the partner's office. Every so often I stuck my head in, but she was always on the phone or already talking with someone. There was nowhere to sit right near her office, so I found space down the hall and sent an email explaining where I was sitting. All day. I wish she could have just held up a post-it while on the phone that said "Nothing bad!" Am I waiting around to be fired? Did I horribly screw up with a client? Did I miss something huge? DID I FORGET TO FRESHEN UP IN A POWDER ROOM?

An hour ago the partner reached out (that's 11:30 at night) to me with, "Let's meet for coffee tomorrow. 7:30?" Um, seriously? Normally I work out in the morning and by 7:30 I'm just getting in the shower, aiming to leave home at 7:50. Working out is not going to happen tomorrow because I just don't want to get up that early. When I told Josh, he pointed out that you don't make it to partner rolling into the office at 10:30. He also suggested I take an Uber so I don't show up subway-sweaty for coffee. Can I expense this? No, right? Since it can't get billed to a client? I wish she'd let me know earlier so I could work out tonight to get some of the nervous energy out. If I get fired, then I'll definitely be available for whenever Josh reschedules our Spain trip.

In cancer news ... this yoga-speak shit is slowly killing me. I don't know why it bothers me so much and I can't just find it funny like Alex does. She lives for this shit. Today Josh's sister mentioned that Laurie was "so incredibly moved, that there was an energetic shift that was quite powerful" after she received a card from someone. Really? REALLY?! How on earth can she keep shoveling this shit? Does she honestly believe the crap that comes out of her mouth? 

Yes, please move

Now Josh's sister wants to move to LA. Great, off you go. I don't even care that this probably isn't a good idea for her. She's got some sort of eating disorder. Moving to a place that is so superficial won't help her. She hasn't lived with a roommate at all in her entire life because she tries to keep her eating habits secret. Josh told me that when she was in high school, she went through a phase where she was only eating baby carrots. Literally, that was the only thing she ate. And so her skin started to turn orange from all the beta-carotene.

When she's here, she binges. This is probably awful of me, but I estimated how much her eating is costing us. Over $130 a week. That's for one person. She's not a can-of-soup kind of girl. I can see in her some of the same habits Josh had when we moved in together when it comes to wastefulness. Trying out a new recipe, having it fail and throwing the whole thing out? Check. Cleaning up a spill with half a roll of paper towel instead of a rag? Check. Inviting casual acquaintances over for a meal? Check.

That's on top of eating a LOT more than the average person eats. Like eating an entire pint of organic blueberries for breakfast. Several times when I've had almost all of dinner ready and just popped back in the kitchen to complete the last thing, she will take half the scallops set out for everyone, and walk away with her plate. The night she did that I served the remaining scallops to my sisters and Josh's parents, and when Josh asked, "Don't I get any?" I glared at him and said, "Nope." We now plan that she eats as much as three people.

I know Laurie needs to have someone around her, to make sure she eats, to watch the side effects of chemo, all that. I know that Laurie's ego will not allow for a private nurse. I know Laurie needs someone taking her to her chemo, to her acupuncture, to her shrink. I know that even though her daughter is a bitch, Laurie is glad to have time with her. But I can't wait until she leaves. September can't come fast enough. 

Round and round

We have a tea kettle for boiling water. Laurie bought a teapot to keep at our house. I didn't even understand the purpose of it. Josh said it's so you can keep the pot of the tea on the table without having to get up to make more. She's bought some other random stuff too. The insanity is rolling along. The screaming rages seem to have died down on Laurie's part. Not so much on Josh's sister's part.

She seems to think now that she's back, it's time to work through all their issues. Completely ignoring the fact that the only reason she's here is because her mother may be dying. Perhaps this isn't the time to scream about the time you thought you were getting a horse but then didn't get one. (It was a communication mix-up: she asked for a pony party for her birthday thinking she was asking for a pony for her birthday, and her parents thought she wanted a pony theme for her party.)

Now she is saying she doesn't want to live with her parents and could they get her an apartment. Josh heard of a studio for $2500 a month. Doorman building, UWS, across from Trader Joe's, great location, but 300 square feet. She wants her parents to pay for something bigger, but prices have gone up since she's last lived here. Plus she only works like 15 hours a week. Also plus she can't answer how long she plans to stay. Laurie's chemo ends in early September. Josh's sister can't even confirm she's staying until then. Well, what the fuck?! Why would her parents co-sign a year lease when she doesn't know where she'll be in three months?

So she comes over to our house daily, eats tons of our food (seriously she eats like a sumo wrestler), and can't answer anything definitively. She talks in yoga-speak, like creating a higher vibration around cancer to beat it, and if you want to feel abundant, give something away. What the fuck does that even mean? If giving something away makes YOU feel so abundant, then why aren't you happy to give away square footage and live in a tiny studio? Because you're in competition with your brother? Not very zen if you, is it? Excuse me while I scream.

Come over! Bring your coffee table!

Laurie is spending a lot of time at our place. None of us are home during the day, and of course her house is empty too, so I'm a little confused as to why she spends three days here. That confusion can be ignored.

What can't be ignored is all the furniture and decorations Laurie keeps bringing over. No shit, she brought over a table and two chairs, a huge planter, a huge Buddha, throw pillows ... It doesn't seem like she's redecorating. It seems like she's setting up camp. It doesn't seem like she's using the extra table at all. Josh doesn't understand it either.

Danielle suggested that maybe it was like an adult version of a security blanket, but then Josh said he'd never seen any of these things at his house or in storage. So we're trying to not trip over things, and I'm trying to not freak out that my food budget has doubled. 

18 Weeks

There are 18 weeks of chemo. I don't understand so much of what is going on, and it feels like I'm just walking around with my jaw on the floor staring in shock at everything.

Laurie is taking anti-depressants. When she's taking them regularly, she's sort of okay. Then she thinks she's okay, goes off them, and spirals horribly. Laurie's seeing a special cancer therapist, but is super phony-positive to the point that Josh went with her one day to be like "Here's what's REALLY going on." He told me Laurie walked in and greeted the therapist by gushing "Look at you! That is the most DARLING pantsuit ever!" Wtf is that? She's so deep in denial about what's going on. Laurie also keeps going through all these crazy diets super fast, to the point it's hard for us to keep up. One week she's not eating meat, the next week only vegetables. My head is spinning.

Josh's sister has moved back, sort of temporarily. She's ... weird. She's a yoga instructor. Who seems to rarely shower. She travels a lot. She talks a lot about being real, in a way that implies nobody but her is. I am keeping my mouth shut because this is Josh's sister, but you know what's real? The $12 of organic strawberries I bought that you scarfed down while at our house.

She also has that rich-people dismissive way of talking that I hate. Everyone is spending a LOT of time at our house and she will say things like "Sam, I think my mom would like some tea. And I'll have some too, thanks."

Laurie has chemo on Mondays and then around Thursdays feels well enough to run around own. She spends the early part of the week at our house. Please don't ask me why - I don't know. She lays around watching Netflix, napping, snacking and talking to us. Yesterday Laurie announced to us, in the middle of the day, that she wanted carrot cake. Josh ordered a cake at Whole Foods and told me he paid over the phone and could I pick it up on my way home. The bakery lady showed me the cake when I went to pick it up. It said FUCK CANCER across the top. Um. There was no way I was going to hand this to Laurie. I can not use the word fuck in front of them.

So that's what is going on. Every day when I come home from work, I have no clue who exactly will be here. Or what mood they'll be in. Sometimes Laurie thinks she's going to kick cancer's ass, and sometimes she's convinced she's dying. Last week she was convinced she was having a heart attack and trying to insist she be driven to their vacation house two hours away. My head is spinning on a regular basis. 

Chicken

(Thank you for the link to the second Passover. This year it would be this Saturday. Apparently we are waiting for the biopsies to grow, like a throat culture, but uterine cancer has been ruled out. At this point I've pretty much mentally checked out because if I engage I am enraged at how this is all taking so long after we were told the whole point of going to Texas was the fast turn around time. There is nothing fast about this.)

So Gwyneth Paltrow did yet another celebrity food stamp challenge. Ugh, the limes. Really, almost all the green stuff. I imagine this is probably accurate though, for people who are used to being at least middle class and then all of a sudden ... aren't. How can they possibly know off the top of their heads which foods will go farther and give them more value? Still. She should have bought carrots.

My disgust was tempered both by Laurie's cancer shit and by the fact that I already got all riled up about this before a few years ago. What did get me angry is that she didn't get through a full week, cracking at four days in. Come ON. That's just completely pathetic. Didn't Gwyneth brace herself to do something hard for a week? I mean, she gave birth. Twice! Surely this isn't as hard as that was, right? Didn't she know it wouldn't be all Goop-worthy meals all week? 

Dumb drama queen

Alex got sick last week. I think it was like a mild flu. She then got better and had no fever. Then on Friday Alex woke up, coughed, and decided she had the flu again, but worse. Except she had no fever. We had a huge screaming fight with her insisting she was on death's door and me insisting she needed to suck it up and go to school.

It was the dumbest fight we've had in a long, long time. I don't know why I was digging in on this. Ultimately I told Alex if she was so sick that she couldn't go to school then she needed to see a doctor since she'd been sick for over a week. So she went to the doctor. Where she was diagnosed with a fucking sore throat. And got told she was a smidge dehydrated. You know what she was prescribed? Hot water with honey. No shit. I am disgusted by her. 

You're getting better

This is a household that supports Apple. When we lived with Aunt Elaine I just got the cheapest laptop that would do everything I needed it to do. Eventually I got a macbook pro, became an Apple convert and hauled my sisters along with me.

Josh has always liked Apple products and always had one of each. Okay, sometimes more. For a while he had three iPods but couldn't figure out why. "I think a couple were gifts?"

Today when I was making dinner he came home with Dani, who was beaming. "Sammers, don't be mad." Josh made me put the knife down. "We got Dani a new computer and phone." We? No, you. If we had done it, we would have talked about it first and we would have paid for it together.

Dani's computer has been on its last legs for a year, easily. It takes 20 minutes to start, and often it takes five minutes to open any website and then it crashes. Every time I started to think maybe we should budget for a new laptop for her, Dani would run a patch or tweak her computer in some other way. Her phone doesn't tell her when there are voicemails, drops calls constantly, refuses to alert about incoming texts. We basically approach contacting Dani like throwing a message in a bottle into the ocean. It might reach her, but it probably won't.

But this is like, $1500 worth of stuff. Their hands were empty. I seriously heard a rushing sound in my ears while they were talking to me. I think that's what my rage sounds like. "Where's the stuff?" That was all I could think to ask.

Dani suggested they leave it in the hallway while they told me, in case I freaked out. I'm not THAT angry anymore. Mostly. "Can I keep them? Please?"

I let her keep them. She's so happy. Josh is one of those people who gets happy when he gives. So he's happy too. When Dani ran into the hallway to haul her computer box inside, Josh kissed me and whispered. You're getting better.

Maybe I am. But I'm still awake at almost 2am thinking about it. 

Jews don't do sprinkles

I got some Hanukah cookie cutters and Alex decided to make Hanukah cookies with them. She put white, yellow and blue sprinkles on the tops of the menorah ones. I think she was aiming for candles and fire. Josh told her Jews don't really do sprinkles. He ate the cookies anyway, but Dani and I could tell Alex was bummed out by his comment.

He meant his type of rich fancy people don't do sprinkles. Sometimes Josh is so obnoxious. I told him I was sure some rich fancy people DO use sprinkles and it was really gross of him to make Al feel like she did something offensive to his religion. He's just such an ass sometimes.

The word "ointment" is nails on a chalkboard

This weekend I went food shopping for a lot of fruit and vegetables. The goal is to be extra super healthy so the goal of working all week can be met (I just typed "weak" instead of "week" by accident). Because staying home from work is so last week.

Another thing I did in preparation is to nap a lot. This afternoon when I woke up from my nap, something felt weird but I couldn't tell what it was at first.

One of my sisters put a face mask on me while I was asleep. Aren't we too old for this shit? I don't even know how long it was on for, because neither of them were home when I woke up and neither would cop to it. They kept playing dumb. "So there's some kind of ... ointment on your face?" "I don't know anything about any ointment!" By the time I finished interrogating them, the word "ointment" disgusted me.

Obviously I will never admit it to them, but my skin does look pretty good now.

It happened again

When I got home from work, Alex and Lily were in the kitchen, making baked ziti and garlic bread and a salad. Once again, Lily had been playing in the hallway. Alex claimed it was for a long time, so she knocked on their door and when nobody answered she brought Lily in.

There is no way this is kosher. Once again, a note was put on their door. Lily (very messily) ate dinner with us. I hope she doesn't have any allergies.

Maybe Lily's parents are overwhelmed or something. If that's the case they could cut back on something to hire help with her. It's hard to understand her, but we're pretty sure she goes to special school so if that's right they have a few hours of break from her. Ugh.

Smurf!

I can't believe this happened. I can't believe I'm admitting either of these things.

1. Josh sort of picks out my clothes. Sure, I'll wait for you to pick your jaw up off the floor. Not on a daily basis, but overall, he's pointed me towards certain stores, and especially for work clothes and vacation clothes and any weddings or bar mitzvahs or events with his family. At first he just stuck to giving me clothes for my birthday and Christmas. It escalated from there.

2. A couple of weeks ago, I was angry at Josh over something, and on the way home I saw a cute clothing shop and stopped in. I bought a deep blue t-shirt. This is not how I buy clothes. I only buy for specific events, or to replace something that's worn out. But I was pissed, and did something stupid. More stupid than I realized.

On Sunday I wore the shirt. First to run some errands, and then we went for a run. When Josh and I came home I got ready to shower. I took off the shirt, and Josh was like "Whoa, what happened to you?" He walked over and lifted up my arm. Both underarms, from like armpit halfway towards my elbow? BLUE! After my shower? Still BLUE!

Now I'm not going to go so far as to say that Old Navy sells high quality clothing. But this never happened with any of the black shirts I bought there! I'm going to try washing it (separately), but am not sure I have the guts to wear it again. Two showers in and my arms are still blue.

I'm a little stressed out about my arms. My sisters won't stop making fun of me. If it gets hot at work, I can't take off my jacket, but they don't button high enough that I can wear them without a camisole.

Teresa and Joe Guidice - Part One

Okay, I just need to get this out there. Firstly, Teresa is spray-tanned to Oompa Loompa levels.

Joe thinks his sentence was "a little high." O rly?! How many months do you think someone should go to prison for lying to the government, falsifying documents, etc.?

Teresa thinks her sentence of 15 months is "shocking." Why would she be shocked to be sent to prison for breaking the law? Is she not aware of how legal punishments work?

Teresa claims she didn't understand she accepted a plea bargain sending her to prison for 27 months. So she's admitting to being stupid? I mean, she HAD a whole team of attorneys - didn't they explain it all to her?

Andy asks about the omissions in the paperwork - what did she say to her lawyers about them submitting incomplete documents? Teresa implies she didn't speak with her lawyers at all about it. Um, if my attorney fucked me over to the point of getting me sentenced to PRISON you can bet your ass I would sue them.

Teresa now claims she would buy a "used home." Even though she's quoted on tv flat out saying it would be disgusting to live in a home someone else lived in prior.

I trust Josh more than I trust anyone else. It was the scariest thing following him out of the country and relying on him to get me back in. If Josh told me that he needed my signature on something, damn straight I would read it first, before signing. And if I had any questions about it, I would ask them first, and wouldn't sign until I understood. And Josh would never dream of questioning my loyalty to him if I did that. Hell, I think he'd be disappointed if I blindly signed anything.

Andy asks Joe what it will be like to be the only parent at home while Teresa is in prison and Joe says, "It'll be a lot of work." Nice, douchebag. Nothing about missing your wife?

They claim that the two middle daughters, in third and fourth grade, know nothing. They are HIGH to believe that. You KNOW that it was talked about in their school.

You know what's very telling? Teresa and Joe said when they got home, their whole extended families and all their friends were there. People who feel guilty of breaking the law are generally ashamed, aren't they? Being surrounded by people after being sentenced screams of them not genuinely feeling guilty, to me. It's as if they've convinced themselves they are victims, somehow. But they're really not. They made concrete decisions - more than one - to break the law.

It's wrong to judge parents, right?

We have new neighbors, and they have a very cute little girl who has down syndrome. They also have an older kid who doesn't, and I think the mom likes her best. The younger one is about four or five, and always out in the hallway with a toy playing by herself. Sometimes one of us going out there to play with her. Today Alex was baking and heard the girl outside, so she went to knock on their door and ask if she could bring her in to help bake. I was in the living room and overheard the conversation.

Alex: Hi! I'm Alex and live across the hall. Is it okay if Lily comes over to help me with some baking? I won't let her use any knives.
Neighbor: Oh! Let me go get Violet (older one) - she loves to bake!
Alex: Um, I meant Lily? Because she's just hanging out in the hall?
Neighbor. Oh, well ... I guess. Are you SURE?
Alex: Sure! I can bring her back in two hours.
Neighbor: Okay.

So Alex brought Lily in, and they had a blast making all different cookie shapes. An hour and 58 minutes later, Alex had Lily by one hand and a bag full of cookies by the other as she knocked on Lily's door. Nobody. Was. Home. Alex came back with Lily and the cookies, and wrote a note to tape on their door saying "Hi! We had a great time baking and Lily is ready to come home now. Please knock on our door to collect her as soon as you get back!"

FOUR hours later, Violet came knocking to collect her sister. So we spent the afternoon with this little kid and that's it - no apologies or thank yous or anything. Lily was here for so long that she helped to make dinner too. I'm sure it's really hard having a kid with all these problems and I can understand wanting a break, but you can't just dump your kid on people. Josh gave Alex a big talk about not being taken advantage of and what to say if this happens in the future.

Just fucking once

Just fucking once I would like to come home and have somebody hand me a glass of wine and point to the couch while they serve me dinner, instead of coming home and promptly being asked by whoever is laying on the couch what's for dinner.

About every other month I, as Josh says, "go all Italian" and scream at everybody about it. We are forever instituting all these rules and schedules about who should be cooking what on which days, and it never sticks. Nobody is capable of planning and cooking an entire dinner without my input. Even though I wrote out recipes, complete with which dishes to use. Josh will even sternly tell my sisters they need to cook dinner one night a week, but he'll forget his own night. Or get sushi delivered.

Tonight when I got home I smelled something good cooking even from the hallway. Upon opening the door Alex pulled a glass of wine from the refrigerator and handed it to me. Then she pointed to the couch. Where I sat. Within 15 minutes we were all eating pasta and meatballs with garlic bread. Alex made chocolate pudding pie with whipped cream for dinner.

I can die happy now.

Dumped

I am not a wallflower. Sometimes I don't say anything when someone treats me like shit, but I am absolutely aware. At a certain point I am finished taking their shit.

That point came today. This girl at work has really been struggling. Like, Closed Door Talks with her mentor struggling and Scared She's Going to be Fired struggling. Plus she's the type who makes stupid mistakes when she's nervous instead of intensely focusing and triple-checking everything. So I have been helping her when I can. Sometimes I can't, like when a manager asks her a question and the first sentence of her response has "like" four times.

I'm sort of getting a handle on how work works, so I only help her when I have free time. Like yesterday I had 20 minutes for lunch, and I agreed to review her report while she ran out to get our food. If it's not too late at the end of the day I'll stay a few minutes and help her figure out what her emails mean. But I refuse to put my work aside for hers. She is really decent about respecting my boundaries.

This week I'm working on a client with this guy who right away announced he has some executive functioning thing. He is forever using it as an excuse. "You'll have to do that part because I can't. Because of my disability." He keeps dumping his work on me. Not asking. Demanding. Fuck that. He'll interrupt my work to put his in front of me, and then do that thing some guys do where they physically intimidate intimidate you with their body by standing over you while you're sitting down. I hate that.

Today I snapped. "Maybe you're not cut out for this job if your disability prevents you from doing so much of it." He claimed he was firing off an angry email to HR about my lack of sensitivity and unwillingness to be a team player. "Good luck remembering to follow up with them," I smirked when he told me what he was doing. Bitchy thing to say, but your disability is not my problem. Your "reasonable accommodation" is not "dump all work on Sam." I am like 90% interested to see how HR handles this and 10% amused.