Thursday, January 7, 2016

Undermining efforts

Over the last month some pretty big things have happened and shifted. For example, do you guys know about chocolate? I just discovered it! Previously, I was never into chocolate bars. It was just ... too much. A little chocolate sauce? Fine. Chocolate cake? Sure. But eating a hunk of chocolate never appealed to me. Until a month ago. Dark chocolate with sea salt? Heaven! In two weeks I ate an entire bar that flavor. I like to take a little piece and suck on it after a meal. How did I go so long without enjoying this aspect of life? Has everyone else known all along?

Hey, did you know you can inject human growth hormone into your skin to stop the aging process? Yeah, just get some vials of it and inject yourself. No problem. Oh wait. One small, tiny problem. IF YOU HAVE CANCER! Why, you ask? Well, while HGH stops the aging process, it has the word "growth" in it, and do you know what it grows? Cancer cells! That's right, if you inject yourself with human growth hormones, it will speed the growth of cancerous tumors, cancer cells, and you are basically fighting all the chemo and other drugs you're ingesting in an effort to kill the cancer.

The anger I felt upon finding out she's been doing this was so overwhelming that I couldn't have Laurie in our place. To think of how much work we've put in to help her, and she's doing something to make it harder? She's Jewish - when she dies it'll be a closed casket anyway. So why is she speeding up the death? Nobody will notice how good she looks once she dies; we'll just be sad she's dead. Apparently she is friends with a neighbor who is a doctor who gave her these vials. I asked Josh why the guy is not being reported to the AMA or whatever.

Last Thursday, Laurie went to chemo, and had another allergic reaction, complete with being rushed to the ER section of the hospital. She was released about four hours later, but this is terrible. The best chemo cocktail to kill her cancer is one she's developed an allergy to? Not such a happy new year. When Josh and I were talking about goals and stuff for this year, at first it was things like getting into Cuba, doing the NYC marathon, and then it took a very dark turn. "I don't even know if my mom will stay alive the whole year!" What do you say to that? Especially when you've just found out she's been undermining her own treatment? 


Amanda said...

Good grief! I'd like think I am the person who if fighting Cancer would say Screw the Wig and go around bald. LIFE, not vanity about my appearance, would be my priority. Anytime you're having to get drugs from a friend, neighbor, etc instead of your acting physician is probably not going to end well. I'm sorry it feels she isn't helping herself when everyone is working very hard to support and take care of her. Your anger is justified!

Anonymous said...

Crazy times. Everyone handle things differently. I can see why you feel frustrated and angry. It's evident Laurie isn't thinking very clearly. From your portrayal of her throughout the years she never struck me as being overly concerned with her looks. Perhaps she's giving up the fight and grasping at straws. Who knows? Wishing you all the continued strength to get through this.

Lisa @ Lisa Moves said...

I discovered Sees chocolates when we moved to the West Coast. I am obsessed. It hasn't done my behind any favors.

I'm sorry that Laurie isn't thinking clearly. How frustrating for you and Josh. People do weird things when they think they might die.

sam said...

She's quietly gotten botox and "dental work" and stuff over the years. When Josh's sister was hanging out here, there were rumors that Laurie sort of encouraged disordered eating in her and she left to get healthy. So this is not a new thing in response to having cancer. It's just a very bad idea because of the cancer.

Kathy, UES women are very into appearance.

Dario said...

Increased lean muscle mass accumulation: the benefits of HGH are similar to those of testosterone. In men, it allows for easier bulking up and getting the most out of every single workout session. Human growth hormone is also required to maintain optimal weight and burn more fat.