Today I spent a lot of time thinking about Danielle and her vacation and how much we missed her and how angry Alex and I were at her for having fun and not missing us.
Maybe it was wrong to be mad at Dani. Maybe instead we should be happy for her that she was able to have fun. I feel like there's more to this but can't figure out what it is. Maybe I need to go back to shrinkings.
*I know technically I wrote this on January 5th but it still counts as the 4th because I haven't gone to bed yet.
2 comments:
When you're the one left behind, there's a hole where the other person should be. When you're the one on the adventure, there's no hole because you've never experienced it WITH the ones you leave behind. It's nobody's fault, just the way it is.
I think being glad for her, but acknowledging that you missed her seems like the right balance.
Dear Sam, I read all your recent posts before I came back to leave a comment on this one.
What struck me is a comment you made in the post prior to this where the three of you were a unit, especially since such tragedy has befallen you all.
With one gone your unit of three is lopsided.
But, and this is the big but, it is important for each of you individually to grow and experience.
And then come back and share those experiences, so that what is experienced individually can be shared collectively.
It sometimes seems that you as the oldest, the responsible, the glue, (and maybe all of you given Alex's reaction) loses sight of independent experiences.
Maybe it's time to get some shrinkage. Just as a touchstone for where you've been to where you are now.
P.S.
Often, I leave a comment only to delete it for fear of hurting feelings or sounding insensitive. I don't mean to.
P.P.S.
I'm a believer in shrinkage. Having an unbiased sounding board is marvelously benficial.
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