Saturday, January 27, 2007

Future

Mama,

I know Aunt Elaine is your sister but are you sure she wasn't adopted? How can someone so cold be related to you? She is always angry at me! ALWAYS. If I'm home I'm in her way and bothering her. If I'm not home then I should have been to take care of Alex or to clean up some mess or something. Everything I do (or don't do) is always wrong. If I try to do something nice then I shouldn't have wasted time when I could have been doing something else she wanted me to do.

Today after school I stayed late because my biology teacher said I could re-take a test I didn't do well on. So I stayed late one period to cram for it and another to take the test. Then on the way home I ran into my friend Eleni (you don't know her) and we were talking for a long time. When I got home Alex and Dani were sitting outside in the cold and dark.

Why? Because they didn't want to go inside without me. Should we be living with somebody who makes all three of us feel like this? I don't think so. I mean, Alex is totally scared of her.

This has been going on a long time. My shrink said this is part of why I'm so angry. I didn't really get why exactly that means I'm so angry but whatever. He says there are a lot of reasons I'm angry.

So. This is my thought (I didn't tell Danielle or my shrink yet):

  1. Turn 16
  2. Get emancipated
  3. Get custody or whatever of Dani and Alex
  4. Move out, into a one-bedroom
  5. Finish and get into a college upstate
  6. Move upstate for college and rent will cost less
  7. Take out loans for college to use for living

Obviously I need to do a TON of research because I don't know if I need a lawyer and stuff like that and I'm sure no judge will emancipate me with my horrible grades and getting suspended so many times for fighting.

But you just shouldn't be afraid of the people who are supposed to take care of you. I feel like this situation will just not work for another two and a half years until I go to college. And I'd feel really bad leaving Dani and Alex with Aunt Elaine if I go away. Bad mood Mommy.

Love,
Sam

2 comments:

Vinny said...

Be very careful here, Sam. I would hate for you to be separated from your sisters, and this kind of move could very well create a big problem. You want to talk to some professionals, like the 9/11 United Services Group. They should be able to connect you with some free legal help. That's going to be among the most important things you do.

Also, be careful not to alienate your aunt. Unfortunately, she has the upper hand here. As the adult (only by age) in the family, she will be the one who gets to make the decisions. If you go toe-to-toe with her before you have all your ducks in a row, you will lose. That would kill you, your sisters, and me too!

By the way, if you are ever in trouble, I am in the NY Metro area (which I assume is close to you.) If you call my voice number at (206)350-3861, or email me at nyackjazz(AT)yahoo(DOT)com, I will be happy to help. I can promise you that my wife and family would be right there with me.

I worry about you. Please be safe, and keep talking to your therapist. Talk about this, too. He/she sounds like a smart enough person.

Vinny said...

Oh, and to be sure I'm not a predator, if you email me, I'll gladly send you my work information, where you can verify I am a NY school administrator, bound by about 4000 rules regarding the safety of children and students.