Run Away

Mommy,

I was so angry last night that I couldn't go to sleep. I read a book for a while and listened to music to try to calm down but it didn't work. I hate it here. If Aunt Elaine just left us alone like she used to it would be fine. But she's always finding something to be upset about, and she lies to other people. Saying we don't include her in our lives. I mean, we don't, but that's because when we try she's never interested. So we give up. How many times are you supposed to bang your head against a wall?

Early this morning I took Alex over to Josh's house. He set her up with breakfast and I went to sleep, finally. Danielle was at Sasha's house and Alex called her and said to stay there for the day, and we'd meet up with her in time for fire family dinner. While I was in bed Josh sat with me for a while rubbing my back. He asked if I wanted to talk but I was too tired.

At some point Alex came in and I felt her petting my hair, and I had a dream about you - it was like watching a montage of you doing my hair all these different times. Did you realize how often you did my hair outside? On the stoop or train or whatever? I have no clue what the hell Alex did all day, but when I woke up she seemed happy, and crawled onto the bed to snuggle with me. Josh's mom came in and asked if we were safe going home tonight. Alex looked at me and I said yes. She asked Alex to give us some privacy, and then closed the door and told me that because Alex didn't know what to say without looking at me, it told her there's something not kosher going on. So she asked me again.

It was really tempting to tell her everything. But I don't want her to tell Josh, so I said we just got in a disagreement and needed to be apart to calm down for the day. She nodded and said we're always welcome to come over.

Josh was kind of ignoring me - he got the Harry Potter book, so I took a shower and then Alex and I left. We picked up Dani, told her what had happened while she had her sleepover at Sasha's, and went to dinner.

The husband guy thought it was great that Alex and Danielle are at camp, and he gave me his email address and told me to let him know when their dance recitals are, and he'll drive me to them and back to work, even though I told him they're probably going to be on different days. That was really nice of him. I need to find out when the recitals are and ask for time off from watching Nora those days.

I am tempted to try to just go move in with Josh, even though his parents would never go for it. Oh, and his mom said she'll take me to the bank next Saturday, and it's absolutely an okay lie to tell the bank I'm 16 even though I'm not yet. So yay.

I wish we could call you.
Love, Sam