Peoples, I have been hiding a terrible secret from you. I feel awful about this - you've all been so nice to me, and so encouraging and helpful, even all the way in Germany and even with a new baby and I appreciate you so much. After I tell you this terrible secret, I will understand if you want nothing to do with me anymore ever again. It'll be okay if you hate me. Each time I think about what I've done, I kind of hate myself a bit.
So you know how sometimes you read magazines in the drugstore without paying for them? Well, me too. But the thing is, sometimes, like about once a month, I read the Oprah magazine. I'm sorry. I'm so ashamed. Even my sisters don't know the truth.
It started innocently, I promise. See, I always saw the magazine at the library (we go there after school) and after a while realized she's always on the cover. It fascinated and disgusted me all at the same time. How can anyone's ego be so big? Finally one day I picked up the thing to look more closely, and like I do with all magazines, I flipped to the back page. Where I saw ANOTHER picture of Oprah! She is EVERYWHERE. Like lice. Or roaches.
And then came the afternoon when I got fully sucked in. Danielle wasn't ready to leave. I'd finished all my homework, read all the other interesting magazines, finished my people-watching, and was bored. And Oprah was just STARING at me. And that's how it happened.
She says the weirdest things. Like in the latest issue, encouraging everyone to take a month off, like she did. Umm... yeah. Not everyone is a trillionnaire. And she calls the girls in Africa her daughters. Okay I know the "it takes a village" phrase comes from Africa but still, that's really dismissive of their REAL mothers.
Aunt Elaine watches Oprah at home and I've seen her talk about the students at her school (who I refuse to call her daughters because fuck that) and any time she tells a guest what one of them said, she always includes their accent. What the fuck is that? When she tells someone what Maya Angelou said, she doesn't use HER accent.
Also, what's up with the screaming on that show? Why are all these midwestern middle-aged women screaming on her show? Don't these people have any dignity?! I am a teenager - it is my job to scream. But only in appropriate places, like at home, or at a concert, or at a sleeping crackwhore blocking the steps of our building.
Can we go back to the school in Africa please? All these girls were picked because they were the best students from their previous schools. Which means they were in school. But there are children in Africa who are too poor to go to school. Why didn't she pick THOSE kids? She picked girls who will be easy to teach. Who probably aren't behind in learning, who already know how to read.
Oprah made this school much more fancy than it needed to be. And it's not that I think African girls don't deserve a beautiful school. But if I could have 600 thread count sheets, or my other option was 300 thread count sheets AND another girl could also have sheets, I'd pick 300 thread count sheets! Share the wealth! What is she teaching those girls about wealth? That THEY "deserve" it but their former neighbors somehow don't?
I just think she could have spent less and helped more people. Maybe I should move to Africa and try to get into that school - then I'd have a bed.
So that's my secret. I read, and hate, Oprah. Yeah and I don't know why I read it if I hate it. Maybe I should discuss that at my next shrinking.
4 comments:
LOL! sam, i forgive you.
i had to look at the web page because we don’t have oprah magazine here, and i got completely sucked in by the "gray hair bible".
i think you’re dealing with this in a good way. you’re a very bright girl, you’re critical and you form good opinions about what you read.
i always like to leaf through similar papers whenever i have to wait at a doctors office or at the cafe downstairs from where i drop my man off at his physical therapy. those magazine have something that sucks you in - that’s what they’re made for. they are sketchy and superficial, they seem to offer easy views and easy fixes. their marketing consultant do lots of research and polls and they publish exactly what most people want to read, not what oprah has to say. many people feel subconciously guilty about those children in africa, so an article like that makes them feel better. not everyone has a critical mind that sees through that. i think that’s scary but it’s true. those magazines have a great attraction to everyone because they paint the world in brighter colors for a couple of minutes. as long as you realize how much of the stuff in there is trash i wouldn’t worry.
LOL! You're brilliant. I agree with bine, there is something incredibly addictive about those type of magazines. I absolutely hate "fashion" because I think not one designer out there has a sense of style whatsoever, and I get sucked into those magazines and marvel at how horrid they are. At least you are thinking of something worthwhile and important. And yeah, why make a school for kids who already can go to school? Why not build schools in places where there are few children going to school? Sometimes I think being rich makes people start to go blind as to what it really means to NEED something.
--Dragon
Where is that unsubscribe button...? ;-)
Look at it this way - at least Dr. Phil doesn't have a magazine.
Wow... I never thought about Dr. Phil having a magazine... the thought makes me shudder.
I tagged you for a meme, by the way :)
--Dragon
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