Nobody pays enough attention to me. People say all this shit about good attention and bad attention but it's all totally a big fat lie. I know it is, because I do my dumb little job, and I go to (almost) all my classes, and I do my homework, I take good care of Dani and Alex and I don't get in fights anymore. And you know what I get for that? NOTHING.
They always say that if you are good you'll get good attention. Well, where's all my good attention?! Nobody ever pays me any attention unless I'm doing something wrong. I run around trying to be a good friend, a good sister, a good student, a good everything. Who's busting their ass to make ME feel good?
It just sucks. I am fucking lonely. :(
1 comment:
Hey, I found you through a comment you left on Snickollet's blog.
You're a really good writer! Just read through some of your recent posts and thought you should know that.
I'm 36 and my mom died 10 years ago. As you said, I had alot more years with her than you did, but wanted to just say, it's probably the biggest loss to survive. I had times when I bought plates at the thrift store just so I could throw them against a wall in a back alley (I then cleaned up after myself), so I hear you on the anger thing.
One really good book for girls who lose their mom at a young age: Motherless Daughters. Most of the writers were younger than I was when their Mom died, but it was helpful to find out I wasn't alone.
Just wanted to let you know, you're not as alone as you feel (though that motherless loneliness is vast).
Post a Comment