Juggling

If I learn nothing else this summer, I am learning how to flirt without being noticed (and hated) by the other girls who like the guy I'm flirting with (at? the guy with whom I am flirting?). The key seems to be in not flirting at all. A negative equals a positive. I just pay attention to Nora, and we do handstands and flips and races in the pool all morning, and then right when I'm getting out of the pool, I grin at Tristan and boom. All my flirting is done for the morning. It's like meeting a quota. Meanwhile Nora and I sit on a towel eating a pre-lunch snack and I watch the other girls push their Chanel sunglasses up like headbands, readjust their boobs when they think nobody's looking, and lean against the lifeguard chair smiling up at Tristan in all his gorgeous glory.

Tristan is fun. After work last night I went to his house. We ate ice cream, fooled around and watched movies. While 30 Days was on we watched Morgan Spurlock and his girlfriend attempt to live on minimum wage for a month. Morgan and his girlfriend complained about being tired, cold, having ants. "That's disgusting. I would never live like that," Tristan said as he touched my boob. As if it's a choice. I mean, it is for them, but for the people who can't pack up and leave after the month ends, it's not.

I got up early this morning to pay bills. Alex sat with me, and manned the calculator while I sorted the bills into order. Most urgent to least. Cable and medical bills go on the bottom. Aunt Elaine is snarfing up all our food, and we have taken to hiding everything we can in our bedroom. Do I spend more money on food or on Combat? We owe $189 for a doctor's visit in March. That's not getting paid this month. Maybe tomorrow I will call them and ask if they can lower the bill. One of the most important things to know is that you can't believe everything you overhear on the trains. But I heard someone say once that doctors will lower what they charge you sometimes if you just ask, and it's true.

Alex asked if she's going to cost less money when she's older. I say more. We have to get Danielle all this stuff for her high school. "But I'll stop growing when I'm bigger," Alex said. Not soon enough though. It's so good we're all girls, we can pass clothes down. The bummer is when they're season specific and can't get worn before they're grown out of. That's why Alex needed to get a brand new bathing suit this year. Danielle's old one fit her in February when she tried it on. Come June it was too tight.

We paid four bills, with Alex putting on the stamps and writing our return address. She thinks paying bills is fun. Without paying cable or that doctor, we have $46 left. We'll have less when school starts. Danielle and I both get lunch for free from our jobs. When I work at the diner I can get dinner free too. Some days between both jobs and free breakfasts I don't eat anything at home. We're still short each month and I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong. On the way out this morning Alex asked Dani what she thought - if she'll cost more or less when she's older. "Let's just say ... don't get your period until you can afford to buy your own tampons," Danielle finally concluded.