In addition to being surprised when tourists decide, after coming all the way from East Bumblefuck to New York City, to dine at this dumpy diner I am also always shocked that THEY are shocked at the prices.
They sit there and stare at the menu and make loud comments about how where THEY live a BLT costs so much less. Then, as if it's the waitstaff who sets menu prices, the tourists stiff them on a tip.
Hey Tourists! You're all assholes! A five dollar tip on a $70 dinner is not enough. If you can't afford an appropriate tip then you can't afford to be eating out. Oh and stop thinking you are so smart by eating over half your food and then complaining about it. If something's wrong you should complain by the second bite. Not by the second to last bite.
Also, stop asking me to say words so you can hear my New York accent. Haven't you noticed by now that I fuck with you by using a Chicago or Boston accent? Stupid tourists.
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