Museum Sleepover

Alex is friends with this girl Maxwell in 6th grade who has a little sister in 3rd grade. She knows her from camp. I met her like once and that's it. I didn't think they were really that good friends. It's not like they're ever on the phone or anything.

But while Alex was sick Maxwell called to say her little sister was having a birthday party, she was allowed to invite one friend and did Alex want to come to the sleepover. So like of course Alex said yes. Aunt Elaine heard and was all "How are you going to go make other people sick?" Pot, kettle.

Thursday Maxwell's mother calls and is telling me that Alex has to bring a sleeping bag and a pillow and a flashlight and I was like wtf? we don't have sleeping bags. It turns out Maxwell is an idiot because she never told Alex the sleepover is at the CMOM and not at their house. That's the shitty thing about fancy stuff - it always means complications like owning a sleeping bag.

Danielle told Alex to just take her blanket, fold it in half and sleep in between the halves and Alex totally burst into tears and was crying and screaming that she'd look dumb and be the only one without a stupid sleeping bag.

I will spare you the details but we spent about an hour screaming at Alex with her screaming at us. Either just take your blanket or don't go. Those were the only two choices. Since it was already ONE day away from the party it wasn't like we had time to call friends who were the types to have camping equipment and see if we could borrow. It was totally pathetic because Alex would have to stop yelling each time her throat hurt too much and she kept saying time out to go get more water as she lost her voice over and over.

Alex wound up going and taking her blanket and pillow. She told Danielle she was the only one there without a sleeping bag OR a flashlight, everybody looked at her funny, she dropped her pillow on the train (GROSS) and tried to make us feel bad for her. Except we didn't because hello she got to sleep over at a fucking museum. And the mother sent her home with two goody bags that she said were extra when Alex isn't even friends with the birthday girl. But maybe it's some rule like whoever gives a present gets a goody bag? I don't know.

But you know the whole "beggars can't be choosers" thing? Can I just be choosey for a minute? We all know Alex got two goody bags because the mother realized Alex is poor, right? Okay so when somebody is poor, please don't give them tons of candy! It's not like we can afford to go to the dentist if we get cavaties from that candy.

I made a big deal of putting the candy on the kitchen counter and talking about it so Aunt Elaine will see it. Maybe she'll eat it all, get diabetes and need her head amputated.