Now that Alex is walking around with her messed up face, Aunt Elaine has decided she is officially no longer the cute baby anymore. Alex got told she's nothing but trouble, just like the other two (me and Danielle). Aunt Elaine also told Alex to make sure she's gone when I leave at the end of June. But here is the problem. Josh's parents are not finding an apartment before August 15th. That's the weekend they have decided to like, start renting or whatever it's called.
I won't be 18 until the fall so like technically Aunt Elaine can't kick us out. Except that she will just have the locks changed one day while we're not home and then won't open the door. She totally told me this. She has the phone number for a locksmith all written down and everything. My school ends at the end of June. Where do you live for like a month and a half?
Even if I got Josh's parents to get an apartment to start earlier than they planned, there is no way I will be able to pay for it all by myself. Because if it were up to me, we would just get a one-bedroom for like $1,000 and Alex & Danielle could have the bedroom and I would sleep in the living room. Josh showed me some of the apartments his parents were looking at for us, and they are crazy expensive.
This is the problem with a rich person dating a poor person. What's good enough for me because it's what I can afford is not even something a rich person would think about considering for even one second. Danielle's idea is that we buy a cheap car at the end of June and a gym membership and live in the car and shower at a gym each day and then sell the car in mid-August. So far this is the best plan.
12 comments:
Why don't you try talking to Josh and see if his parents would be willing to rent an apartment out starting July. That would only be 6 weeks earlier than what they are planning. If they become aware of your situation, I'm sure they'd be helpful and you and your sisters wouldn't be left without anywhere to go.
Talk to Craig. There are plans that he can help you make so you're prepared if she does do that. Please don't wait until she acts on the threats, work with him to make plans in advance.
Are you set on living with Josh? The problem you describe illustrates that you will be moving into another situation in which you lack control and rely on other parties for whom your needs do not come first. Don't you want to finally control things yourself, not rely on others who just don't get it, and be on your own, just you and your sisters, making the home you want on your terms?
What is the legal arrangement with your aunt? She obviously hasn't wanted you all there, so there must have been some legal thing all these years obligating her to keep you. Her plans might therefore be illegal. Wouldn't she be at a loss for words if the police showed up demanding to know why she locked out the three underage girls that are supposed to be under her care. Whatever agency compelled your aunt to take in you three and made the legal arrangements involved could perhaps be contacted to help with the upcoming transition, forcing her to properly comply with her responsibilities until the transition is complete.
As for immediate practical matters, look into a summer sublet, start switching your mail over to a post office box, get things packed and ready to go, and move out your most important belongings in advance of any lockout.
You're welcome to come and spend 6 weeks in the countryside here. I know it's a strange offer but I've no idea what to say when I read all this crap that's happening anymore. My mothering instincts just want to wrap you all up and hug you.
Why are Josh's parents choosing the start-date?
YOU are the one who actually needs a new place to live.
A place with a lease that begins when you need it to begin should be sought, not a place with a lease that begins when is convenient for people who won't be left homeless.
They pick the start date because I can't afford the kind of apartment Josh's parents will want him to live in without their share of rent. They're already going to be paying more than half the rent even though I'm three people and he's only one. I don't feel right on top of that asking them to start paying before Josh is moving there too.
We all know your aunt isn't reasonable at all, but maybe part of it is she is choosing a date because you haven't had one to give her.
If you pretend your plans have firmed up and you begin telling her, plainly and simply, we will be moving into our new place on and be out of here by August 1st, she will get used to the idea and leave you alone. Just tell her that repeatedly. Say it not as if you are asking whether that is okay with her, but firmly as if you are simply stating a reality and just reminding her of it, not trying to argue because this is not even what you decided but what is.
With a firm date backed up by a matter-of-fact and disinterested in arguing attitude, she might back off.
This comes up in many areas of life: a specific date indicates the intention of concrete plans, but a vague time period makes others doubt the plans will happen.
August 1st is a good choice because it is halfway through the summer, giving you time to move out on one end and get settled on the other, and it is on the first of a month, when most leases begin.
They pick the start date because I can't afford the kind of apartment Josh's parents will want him to live in without their share of rent.Josh's parents' needs: A certain kind of apartment
Your needs: A certain start-date
The needs of both parties should be met.
"They pick the start date because I can't afford the kind of apartment Josh's parents will want him to live in without their share of rent."
Josh's parents' needs: A certain kind of apartment
Your needs: A certain start-date
The needs of both parties should be met.
It's a tough situation, I'm really sorry you're having to deal with it...I think the suggestion of letting her know when you're planning on leaving is good, but I can see she'd possible just go nuts on you about it. Also, if his parents have the option of either him not living with you but spending time with you wherever you find a place for that 6 week period or so OR assisting in getting you all in somewhere they find ok sooner I wonder which they'd choose.
Good luck.
You seem to be approaching this as if Josh's parents are doing you a favor.
You need a new place to live at the end of June. Josh wants to be part of this, but his parents have requirements, so they are paying beyond what you would pay to cover that. This does not change the date you need your lease to begin. They need to start paying their part when you move in.
You didn't ask them for help. Their restrictions are causing trouble for you.
They haven't made any compromises, so why must you?
Without them as part of the equation, you'd be looking to move into a place you could afford at the time you need. There's no reason that Josh's wanting to live with you should complicate your moving further. You shouldn't have to find summer accommodations, shouldn't have to delay moving into your new place, shouldn't have to move twice in under two months, and shouldn't be left having to pay more rent than you would if you were the one choosing the apartment.
Tell Josh's parents, the arrangement with your aunt is that you and your sisters need to be out at the end of June.
Ask them, should you be looking for an apartment for just you and your sisters as you had originally planned or do they still want to pick an apartment for Josh to live with you and pay the difference as discussed even though it's sooner than they had planned.
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