I asked if they will be mad we are here and they are staying in a hotel. Laurie said no, they will be more upset that Josh and I are going to live together without being married. I told her, "But we're too young to be married!" She kind of smiled and asked, "When you say 'we' do you mean you and Josh or you and your sisters?" The truth is I meant me and my sisters but I felt too stupid to admit that so I said both. Laurie said that I should work on finding ways to separate myself from them - that the three of us are three individuals, not one entity.
That kind of pissed me off. I mean we were forced to be closer than was comfortable for so long and now that we're not we're all doing different things this summer. We're all going to different schools. What more does she want? I'm sorry that her daughter moved halfway around the world and never wants to come visit anymore but that doesn't mean how me and my sisters do things is weird.
Anyway, I asked why the grandparents are coming to visit before Josh gets back. It turns out I misunderstood. They are staying for two weeks. In a hotel. For two weeks. So they'll only be here for like three days or something before Josh gets back. But still. How can anyone afford to stay at a hotel for so long?
So just to review, Josh's grandparents are going to get here, then he's going to get back and then we're supposed to rush around trying to move like two weeks later. My nana lived downstairs from us. We ate dinner with her most nights. If we smelled cookies we went to her after school instead of going home. When I was really little she brushed the knots out of my hair before my mother would style it. I can not wrap my head around the idea of grandparents coming to visit once a year and staying at a hotel. I don't understand how this will work.
Breakfast: half a rye bagel with peanut butter, hard boiled egg, OJ
Lunch: salad made this morning with walnuts, grilled chicken and mandarin oranges, goldfish pretzels
Dinner: cup of chicken soup, half a cantaloupe, a cookie
5 comments:
As you grow and experience new things you will be exposed to many different ways in which people live, do things etc. Sometimes you'll agree sometimes not but try to keep an open mind. There are probably many reasons why his grandparents are staying at a hotel. Maybe they're not close to each other.
It sounds like you had a close bond with your grandmother. The move will be stressful but will work out. Try making a list or focusing on the positives in your life right now. That may provide some relief to think of all the good things :)
And you don't have to justify your bond with your sisters. You are all doing separate activities and that's great!! Maybe she's a tad jealous or something?? Lol.
It doesn't mean she thinks the way you do things is weird. A though I had is that if she had that, it probably means that she expects to be looking out for Danielle and Alex for a while. Also, some people are a just that mobile. Matthew has people coming to our wedding he hasn't see in almost 10 years. I was raised by my mother, aunt, and grandmother. We come from different worlds.
It also sounds like you may need to get some thick skin fast about the grandparents. They maybe be asking you questions that you think are crazy and completely out of line.
Laurie should not have instructed you that way. She might have suggested it, or asked about it, but it is not her place to lecture you about such things.
And, anyway, she does not, as you explain, know enough about you and what life has been like for you three to judge you in that way. If she had asked, she might have learned more about you and understood better.
Doesn't she usually do a good job of asking and suggesting rather than telling? I had gotten the idea that she really respects you as the responsible and hard-working head of your family. Lately, things seem different.
Some grandparents are like that. Maybe Laurie and her parents don't get along amazingly well, and this is how they are able to visit. Maybe the grandparents are very proper and enjoy staying in a hotel. Maybe they are private and prefer it. Maybe they will not only be in town to visit Josh and his parents but also to visit others and to do NYC things themselves and therefore want their own place while they are in town. Maybe going to their favorite hotel is a big part of their trip. If they are doing it, they probably can easily afford it.
Your memories of your grandmother are wonderful. Not all grandparents are like that. Some are more distant, and the relationships are more formal.
I can see how the upcoming grandparental visit would be making you nervous for all sorts of reasons. It sure is going to be a busy few weeks.
I think what she's trying to say is, she just want you to really consider making your decisions that would eventually let your sisters make their own as well,
like the three of you are three individuals with differents wants, needs and aspirations, and, although you are together now, each of you might have to pursue your own ways in life in the future.
I'm not suggesting that your closeness is bad, no, on the contrary, it's a huge plus. However, the three of you will soon grow up and will definitely have to start exploring things that each of you want. Even triplets don't stay together forever, right?
Sorry if you disagree with the way I think. It's just a thought. Cheers. :)
I agree with Hazwani above, I don't think it's a condemnation, but the ability for you each to discover your own identities as you get older will be important, I think you'll always be very close; I also think that with Alex still being young you have a great deal of responsibility still, for both of them honestly.
My family was very similar to yours, we lived close, we were close, we ate with eachother even when we lived a part...however, i have found lots of people aren't like that, it's always weird to me at first, but such is life right:)
If you're very uncomfortable with her line of discussion, maybe you and her having a talk that will help her to understand more about your past and where you come from will give her better understanding, I think her intentions are good here, she may just not have the perspective to understand you all yet.
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