Alex told me last night that she doesn't want to move again. That she wants to stay here. That she likes it here. I lay next to her for almost a half hour talking about it. About our last two moves. Our move with Aunt Elaine a couple of years ago was horrible. It was sudden, we were sneaking out without having paid rent, it was just awful. The move at the end of school was way better because we were moving to a safer place.
I don't care how much Alex likes it here. She's moving with us this weekend. Laurie and Tom have probably been looking forward to getting rid of Josh for ages, they've had us for over a month, there's no way they want to be stuck with Alex. Plus, she's not theirs. Danielle came in for this part, and she tried to help. "You're not somebody's daughter, you're two people's sister. We own you. You stay with your sisters."
She was not happy with that. This home is much bigger. Alex hasn't had to fold any laundry, set one table, dry any dishes, empty any garbages, sweep any floors since we got here. There is always someone to watch her dance, listen to her story of what happpened at camp today, ask what's wrong the second she frowns, and randomly go check to see what they can do to make her even happier than she already is.
So no, Alex can not stay. She does belong with us, and she will be coming with us, whether or not she's happy. If we all just did what we wanted regardless of the other two of us, then I would have applied to colleges with beautiful green hills where kids play hackey sack and have a meal plan.
I told Alex to think of this as a vacation which is how I am thinking of it. You don't go on vacation and decide "Oh, I'll just live at Disney World forever now." You go, have fun while you're there, and then come home. Maybe you go visit again later on, and you can think back fondly on how great it was, but you do not stay forever.
Reason 482 why spoiling kids too much is not a good idea. They'll want to be spoiled forever. We are moving this weekend and Alex is coming with us.
2 comments:
That's great that you spent time listening to Alex and talking with her about this. She probably needed you to validate her feelings and fears. If you talk with her again about all of this, express to her your agreement that moving stinks. Remind her that you are not moving back with your aunt but into a nice place of your own. Ask her what you and Danielle can do to make the move less scary for her.
The vacation metaphor is a good one. Let Alex know that you too have enjoyed and will miss the benefits of living with Josh's family for the summer. Ask her what aspects of living there she thinks you all could realistically bring into your new home. Assure her that you all will still go visit Josh's parents every so often. Remind her that you all will be able to invite people over to your new home. Get her thinking about what dessert she might like to prepare for Josh's parents the first time you have them over for dinner.
Good luck!
You are such a fantastic person and sister. Alex is lucky to have you. :)
Good luck moving. I hate it....
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