Monday, August 2, 2010

Negotiating is hard work

It only took three days for Danielle to stop taping a big piece of paper to both the front and back of her shirt whenever she was home that said, "I AM DANIELLE. NOT SAMMY, DANIELLE." I told my sisters it is not fair to put Josh in the position of feeling like he is forced to be a pedophile. That it is not fair to absorb him into our family without us also being absorbed into his family too, which means we have to do some things his way.

I told Josh we spent a lot of years uncomfortable and unwelcome in our previous home, and we don't want to live that way anymore.

So, Josh will look before touching. My sisters will not walk around in shirts any higher than mid-thigh (they are anti-bathrobe - I asked), and will not sleep in my bed unless Josh is not home, or I am also sleeping with them (because then he will see two and know to look closer at which girl is which).

Also, Josh got Alex and Danielle three big nightshirts each, that go down to their knees. Al is beyond thrilled to have something that's hers first, and I agreed not to borrow Dani's.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow, good job!

OTRgirl said...

Sounds like some creative problem solving from all parties. Danielle's shirt labels made me laugh. Probably not so funny for Josh though!

Anonymous said...

You guys do a great job meeting each other halfway.

Hope you hear good things about your blood work when you see the doctor next.

-Noelle

Sam said...

Thanks Noelle. To be fair, this took a ridiculous amount of conversation between all four of us, and there may have been some cursing and tears involved. I just decided to skip writing about all that part.

Alisha said...

I agree - awesome job brokering compromise all around. I don't want to be a downer, but I'd point out, though, that Josh wasn't home last time when Danielle went to sleep in your bed...so that one might not help much. Do you guys have a big dry-erase board or something similar to leave notes to one another?

Sam said...

Alisha we mean like when Josh is staying at his parents' house or on vacation. Not just, out of the house because he went to play basketball or something and will be home in an hour. We have post-its.