Danielle was the one I'd asked for help to look for my money. My sisters never ever go in the money drawer without being told to. They don't ask. They keep their money in their bedroom.
Alex first said she didn't know why she took it. Then said she had to pay somebody back. Who, she couldn't say. For what, she couldn't say. Then said she wanted to buy something. Still couldn't say what. She stood against the wall and lied over and over. Alex doesn't have the money to give back. She can't say what she spent it on; Danielle believes she blew it on pizza slices, gum and Teen Vogue magazines and other bullshit stuff.
I don't need this. I don't need a thief and a liar in my home. There are very specific rules when you steal - you never steal from individual people. You go to established stores and only take as little as you need. Nobody needs restaurant food or candy.
When I told Alex to get out she first headed to Aunt Elaine's apartment. Josh redirected her to his parents' house. So now Alex is being punished by living in a penthouse with a housekeeper and cook, spending the weekend being waited on hand and foot.
6 comments:
Maybe she was really scared stiff because you must have been really angry and that's why she came out with lies and rubbish. Leave her to calm down and you and you can work out everything that happened. There's probably no solid reason for what she did and she's probably regretting it so much. All teenagers do really stupid things. Reality gets warped. Don't let this spoil your entire relationship because she did something completely out of character and really teenagerish/immature. She'll change. In the meantime, let her know she'll really have to earn your trust back, but don't freeze her out.
Do Josh's parents know what she's done?
They know.
I don't blame you for being angry. You have done so much for your sisters and do so little for yourself that it must have been absolutely infuriating. Plus, it's a total betrayal of trust.
I stole some money from my dad when I was 12. I didn't have a reason for it except that it was there and I was going out shopping with my friends. I was tired of being poor all the time and wanted to be able to spend some money on something I wanted like they did. I ended up not getting in trouble for it because I bought a (badly needed) pair of jeans with the money, but I could have easily blown it on something else. I felt bad afterwards but when I was taking the money it didn't really feel like I was doing anything wrong. I'm not trying to make excuses for your sister, just giving you a perspective that kids do stupid things without even thinking about it sometimes.
Out of curiosity, who has legal custody of your sisters? Was your aunt your legal guardian (is she still)?
On the one hand, yes, Alex was scared and so lied, but on the other hand, Sam has every reason to be furious.
It's a tough balance, because Sam can't be all "oh everything's okay just tell me the truth" when it is not okay. But if something really bad is going on with Alex, that needs to be found out.
Sam, maybe you can say firmly to Alex that you are indeed furious, you are disappointed and you are shocked you can't trust her any more, but that before you two start working on that, you need to know why she took it, is something really bad going on that she feels she can't tell you.
How is it Alex "can't say"? Did she just refuse to say?
Alex will have to get the money. If she bought something that is returnable, she will have to return it. If the money is just gone, she will have to earn it -- babysitting, odd jobs. If there is something Sam pays for specifically for Alex, Alex might lose whatever that is (not food) for a while. Just as long as she doesn't get it by stealing from someone else out of desperation.
You bring up an interesting question: Did the stealing "according to the rules" model for her that stealing is okay?
Yeah, going to Josh's parents is so not a punishment, even if they do know what she has done. Maybe at least they'll be able to get it out of her what happened, why she took it. I kind of wish she had gone to your aunt's, even though it isn't safe in a number of ways, because at least that way she would have been reminded about what life was like then and all that you do for her. But not having to be uncomfortable facing up to what she's done and instead being sent away to be pampered after doing what she did is just positive reinforcement.
Why is she shouldn't be spending the whole weekend there? If you are able to handle her being around, maybe Tom and Laurie should send her home, and she can suffer being uncomfortable at home with you and your disappointment.
Just as long as she doesn't get it by stealing from someone else out of desperation.
"It" being the money to pay you back. But I guess it could also be whatever you stop provinding for her.
Why is she shouldn't be spending the whole weekend there?
Should be, "Why is she spending the whole weekend there?" Originally was "She shouldn't be" and then I edited it poorly.
Post a Comment