The problem with being angry with someone for an extended period of time is that eventually something comes up where you have to stop being angry at them for some reason. Then you have to decide if you should skip whatever came up, which possibly ruins the friendship or if you're ready to let the anger go or at least put it on hold. These are hard decisions.
Alex turned 13 a little while ago, and a few days before her birthday I found out she asked Josh if she was "going to get to turn 13." Maybe it was an accident, but it totally attacked my guilt and kept me up late at night. For ages Alex has wanted to go to a Broadway show. Actually she wants to go to them on a regular basis. She has this big fantasy that when she's an adult one weekend a month she will go to the opera, another weekend will be for the ballet, another for a Broadway show, and the fourth for museums.
When Laurie called to say she and her husband wanted to do something special for Alex's birthday I told her about the Broadway dream. It is very, very weird to hear a grownup woman squeal with excitement, and it made me laugh. Laurie wound up getting Alex three tickets to a matinee showing of Wicked. Danielle's friend from geek school has a totally cute little Maltese dog named Blossom that she was willing to lend us for the weekend.
Saturday morning Danielle picked up Blossom and her food and stuff and when she was outside the door, I jumped on Alex's bed and yelled that it was just for her birthday weekend. Right when she was trying to figure out what I was talking about, Dani came in and put Blossom on Alex's bed. It was not at ALL weird to hear Alex squealing. Blossom was the best birthday present EVER. We had so much fun with her. I wish we celebrated Alex's 13th birthday every weekend.
While we were sitting on the floor having the dog run back and forth between us, I told Alex about Josh's mom giving her tickets for Wicked and said she could take two friends. Alex asked if she could take us instead of friends and Dani beamed at me. In that moment I was tempted to tell Alex that I couldn't go because I didn't have the Gap dress I wanted to wear, but I bit it back. I know that some people wear gowns and furs and others wear jeans to Broadway shows, but I felt like since you're in front of real people who can see you, the right thing to do is dress up.
Josh babysat the dog while we went to the show. Wicked was awesome. Alex had a shit-eating grin on her face through the whole show. We were in the front center section, in the middle - basically, perfect seats. After the show we went over to the stage door and when a few performers came out Alex went up and said it was her birthday present and thanked them. They made a big deal of it and gave her big hugs and autographs and she talked about her school with them. Two actors asked her to wait and they gave out autographs and took pictures with tourists, and then when nobody was left asked if she wanted to see backstage.
So we all three got to go backstage and Dani and I stood around waiting while they showed her around and then took her out onto the stage. Honestly, I think Alex could have been struck by lightening right then and she would have died happy. We were there for almost 20 minutes and these two actors were so nice to Alex, talking about what experience they have and where they went to school for it and everything. This is exactly the kind of reason why New York is the best place to live.
10 comments:
Glad that A had such a special b-day! (And that you were able to hold back any still-pissed-off feelings.) Any photos from the Broadway outing?
This post put a huge grin on MY face. I'm so glad Alex had such a wonderful birthday, and that you were able to find it in yourself to enjoy it with her.
That birthday sounds awesome! Sounds like you had a great time- hard to stay mad at someone when real life stuff keeps on happening, ie. birthdays...
I'm a new reader to your blog. This has to be the sweetest birthday present ever. Love that Alex chose you and Dani to join her. The two cast members gets huge thumbs up from me. How wonderful that they understood how important it was to make a big deal of a 13th birthday.
You know, I'm absolutely like you and it would have taken everything in me not to mention the dress. On the other hand I'm an actor, it's all I want to do with my life and the fact that you made that dream come true for a 13 year old makes you a superstar in my mind. Thanks for sharing.
Sam, I just spent the last week reading all your archives. Love your writing. I don't know if you decided on a minor yet, but what about English or creative writing?
Sounds like the perfect 13th birthday. You're a great big sis.
Sam, I've had the experience many times of something arising and having to set anger aside. Unfortunately, what's arisen has usually been illness or death.
It is really impressive that you were able to set aside your anger for Alex's birthday. And how rewarding having done so seems to have been for you! That Alex would for her two friends to take choose you her two sisters must have felt great. I'm so glad you got to be part of Alex's happy experience.
Also, from a parenting perspective, it probably did a world of good for Alex for her to know that even though she has caused you such great and justified fury, you still love and care about her. It's understandable that that hasn't been your primary concern while you've been rightfully pissed all this time.
Hi Sam, I just discovered your blog and am working my way through all of your archives. (I just saw another commenter is doing the same.) I am so touched by you and your sisters and your story. I'd love to do something for you. Will you email me?
(PS Just so you know, I'm not some creepster. I'm a 27 yr old mom with 4 little kids and a wife. You can check out my blog. :)
My email address is morganf7(at)yahoo.com
After the justified anger and betrayal you felt after Alex stole your dress money, I could understand how you'd feel like you could never forgive her. But it speaks loads about your character (and of course, your love for your sister) that you made sure her birthday was special despite everything. That really is love.
And when you wrote that Alex chose you and Dani to join her rather than 2 of her friends, I couldn't stop smiling after that.
You three are pretty awesome.
(Also, I think you should minor in creative writing too.)
My husband took me to see the matinee this past Saturday for my birthday too! Wonder if we were at the same showing....?
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