There is this guy at school who is kind of nice and kind of weird. There's something off about him. He is 23 and a sophomore like me. When I asked him what he did between graduating from high school and starting college, he didn't give me a straight answer. He's been in several of my classes, and I've heard other people ask the same thing. They never get a straight answer either. I think the answer might be NOTHING. This is what I know about him:
He lives with his parents, his older brother, and much younger sister.
He has never moved out, and doesn't have a job (neither does his brother)
He thinks very highly of his tattoos
He doesn't respect other people
He views himself as smarter than most people around him
I need to explain this last one. He makes a lot of jokes that are not just un-PC, but are offensive at its core. When Joe gets called out on this he claims that like, because he knows he doesn't mean it, it's okay. I don't agree. If you make jokes about girls only being good for blowing you and bringing you beers to girls, then you're a chauvinist. Or maybe you're not, but when you make those jokes to girls you definitely don't know your audience.
He likes to think he's super smart, and also that he's really charming to girls. He talks a lot about how he's trying to build up a relationship with this girl or that one, but then he always implies he found some flaw in her character and it's caused him to dump her or lose interest. Joe fishes for compliments a lot, which really turns me off. I try to never let him do anything for me, even the littlest thing like picking up my pen if it rolls off my desk, because Joe will mention it all week long, and try to say I am indebted to him for it.
Yesterday I was standing outside a classroom talking to Alex on my cell phone. She is breaking in a new pair of toe shoes and hurt the back of her heel/ankle and we were talking about what she should do for it. When I sat down Joe sat next to me and told me he went through EMT training. Okay. Then he told me I should pour alcohol on the cut.
Okay for one thing, you shouldn't listen in on other people's conversations. If you happen to overhear that happens, but you don't insert yourself into it. For another thing, pouring alcohol on Alex's foot is not necessary and there's no reason to do something painful.
Then all through class he kept trying to get me to say I would make Al pour rubbing alcohol on her foot, which I refused to do. I tried thanking Joe for his advice and saying I'd consider it, I tried ignoring him, I did everything. He would not let up.
After class ended he walked with me for a while and tried some more. Then he got angry and was like, "You know, I'm just trying to help you. The least you could do is show a little appreciation." I was floored. "Joe, I never ASKED for your help!" He stayed on his train. "But I saw you needed it, and I generously stepped in." We went back and forth for a while, and Joe got angrier and angrier. It was weird to see somebody else's rage switch get flipped, while mine stayed down. As I walked away Joe mumbled, "fucking bitch."
Oh. Okay. Now I see. You're fucking batshit crazy, thank you for making it crystal clear for me. You swoop in to save the day, give advice that isn't the best advice, your "victim" isn't appreciative enough, and then you become victim in your own eyes. Got it. Go fuck yourself.
8 comments:
At first I was going to say that Joe is just really insecure... but yeah - fucking batshit crazy is more like it.
PS - I can see why he is NO LONGER an EMS with that advice.
The part I don't get is why you began by referring to this guy as ''kind of nice''. Nothing about him seems nice to me!
Alisha when I first met him I liked him a lot - he was funny and seemed kind of nice. He made a good first impression. It was only after I got to know him better that all this other stuff started coming out.
It was weird to see somebody else's rage switch get flipped, while mine stayed down.
That's a good observation.
I'd say with respect to what he did before college, the answer is something obviously that would embarrass him, so I'd let up on asking him, as curious as I might be.
But then I read the rest of your post. Yeah, you've got his number. Do stay away from him.
And good for you for being able to remain calm and sensible. Always remember, too, that if do you find your "rage switch getting flipped," you are allowed to leave.
Batshit, no doubt about it.
his predatory behavior is something to avoid, he wants to climb on your shoulders to raise himself up... you have very good instincts, you can trust them whole heartedly
Definitely some red flags! Sounds a bit obsessive (with the relentless advice) + needy and controlling. BAD combo. Worth steering clear.
Always a bummer when someone who seems cool turns out to be very OFF somehow.
batshit weirdo is correct.
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