This morning we went to this wholesale warehouse type of place in Brooklyn, and when the cashier checks you out, they don't pack your food in bags. Instead, they use boxes. We'd packed the cardboard boxes in the trunk of the taxi and while Josh paid I started hauling the tightly packed boxes out and putting them on the sidewalk. Instead of a paper cut, it's like a cardboard cut, deep in my pointer finger that now has a bright purple bandaid around it. So any typos are the cardboard cut's fault, not mine.
I guess it must be very hard to be a parent. Or maybe some people are cut out for one kind of work and parenting is a different kind of work they're not cut out to do. Some blogs have posts where the people talk about how hard it is to get places on time, or fill out forms and turn them in on time, or get out the door in the mornings. I think the key to multiple people getting out of the house in the morning is more than one bathroom. Even with only three people trying to use one bathroom to get out at the same time, there were always hurt feelings that'd last almost all day. Hard to imagine how much worse it is when there are even more people.
I have always been really organized. Getting places on time is not hard. Planning ahead is second nature. It's always weird to make plans with someone who is the opposite way. Last year I was supposed to meet up with a professor to discuss a paper and we had the weirdest conversation that was something like this:
Me: Okay, so I'll meet you at Dean & DeLucca at 4:15 tomorrow?
Prof: Yes. If I'm not there, I'll be at the bookstore around the corner.
Me: Do you want to meet at the booksture?
Prof: No it's just if I'm not at the coffee shop, I'll be there.
Me: But why wouldn't you be there? I mean, we're agreeing to both show up.
I probably came off as a stubborn wiseass or something to her, but in retrospect I can see she's the opposite of me when it comes to this stuff. I showed up to that meeting five minutes early, and when my professor walked in and saw me she was surprised I was there, and I was surprised she was surprised. I seem to get a lot of compliments for showing up on time and being prepared.
Lunch is made the night before. If I hear today that it's going to rain tomorrow, I put an umbrella on top of my bookbag now, so I don't forget it. If I have something to give to someone, I put it in my bag, and put a note in the book for the class we share reminding me of the item.
The alarm on my cell phone gets set each night for the next morning, and the alarm clock is also set. It always seems so weird when other people at school are consistently late. Like why would you do something the same way each time and keep expecting it to work differently? To me it's obvious something needs to change, but for the most part it's the same kids who are always late. Aren't they embarrassed to be late?
Once I read this whole article about how like, when you're late it says you don't respect theo ther person's time. Maybe if it's a once in a while thing it's not a big deal. I mean, shit happens. Trains have delays. Sometimes you're trying to get a cab and can't. Becca told me that once she was rushing to do something and turned when she was going through a doorway and cracked the side of her entire face against the doorframe and broke her nose. Now I'm always extra careful about turning my head if a doorway is nearby. When I was little this one time I was fighting with my sister and she pushed me and I cracked the side of my face against the corner of the oven door and even though nothing broke I still remember how much it hurt, so the idea of breaking your nose and hurting even more just sounds awful.
9 comments:
Hi Sam,
I have just recently finished reading your archives. You rock - on so many levels.
I am one of those people who has always been late. It caused me an enormous amount of stress for a very long time so I've thought a lot about why I am the way I am (or was - I've sort of figured me out). I think I was fixated on the time element itself and shooting to get wherever I was going at that EXACT time. It sounds ridiculous now, but getting somewhere early just didn't occur to me. Unfortunately, I never left myself room for error and should have. It was never a matter of disrespecting the other person's time (and that thought horrifies me!). Now I look at the "getting there early" time as found time where I can just take a breather and relax for 10 or 15 minutes with a good excuse - and I love it.
I'm always either late or early. Never just right!
Last year I was late to school practically all the time, because I hated it. I'm sure you could call it disrespect but the truth was that I didn't want to go to school but I had to turn up. So- compromise.
Now I go to a new school and I'm early every day. I like it there.
To the above poster- are you Sam's Laurie??
I am always on time, but I think part of it is nature, and the other part is per force. I was a single mother for years and because of that I had to be organized-there was nobody there to pick up after me if I forgot the camp papers, or didn't plan for a delay, or whatever. I guess I'm just trying to say that it's hard to tell whether this came naturally to you, or whether it is a skill you developed and perfected because you were thrust into the care taking at such a young age. Either way, I admire you!
I am early early early all the time. I was going to something this weekend and the person I went with was way more casual about what time we arrived and I almost broke out in hives. The early thing is probably as much of a failing, at some point, as the late one. 'Cause I can hardly be 5 minutes early, I wind up being 30 minutes early or not able to do more than one thing in a day. You know?
I am disorganized and I constantly forget things. I try really hard, but it's almost like when I remember one thing, I forget another.
I do try really hard to not be late though. Except for parties because I hate the awkward feeling of being the first person there. But other than that, I try to be at least 10-15 minutes early. It makes me feel less stressed about everything else, especially because I'm usually already stressed from worrying if I'm forgetting something! :)
For me, it varies. I'm often late, but that's usually because something pops up that I hadn't factored for. I'm also not a morning person and it's hard to get motivated to rush in the morning (and hard to wake up any earlier than I have to).
To Anonymous - nope, I'm not Sam's Laurie. I realized after posting that I should have been clear on that - although I'd love to be even half as awesome as she sounds...
Early? Late? No matter. The absolute best thing you do is write phenomenally well. I am astonished at how much you have touched me--tears, laughter, and a humbling experience to read your blog. You have changed me in large and small ways. (Your mother shines in you.)
My parents always said "if you're on time...you're actually late" so now I show up stupid early to everything.
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