Some of our best conversations are in the bathroom. While I'm in jeans and a bra doing my hair and Josh is sitting on the bathtub ledge. While he's shaving and I'm sitting on the hamper he insisted we needed. Tonight I asked why Josh never wants to come to fire family dinners. Once he joined us when it was my favorite family, and another time it was when we said they had the best food, and a basketball hoop in the driveway. Turns out he likes the quiet when we're all gone. Turns out we all have big, intense personalities and Josh needs a break. I asked if we should be quieter. No, he likes us how we are. Josh just welcomes the quiet change once a week.
That's what he says. I did not ask why he often has friends over in that case, when we come home. For the record though, I do want to point out that he does. Loud friends too, who make a mess in the kitchen and living room and lay around the couch and floor smelling like smelly boys while they scream at the tv.
Danielle announced that she wants to move out for college. She's angry that she can't. To protest, her response to everything is either "this place sucks" or starts with "when I move out..." I have a feeling somebody may get slapped across the face pretty soon. Dani also said she wants to go somewhere that she won't be in the minority like she is now. We are having a lot of arguments about college lately. They are always the same, so I wrote them out, numbered each of my responses and gave the list to Dani. Now when she starts in, I just yell out "Two!" and it saves me a solid 20 minutes.
There is a girl whose dad is a fireman, and she is 13 like Alex. She's in 8th grade though, and much bigger. Sometimes we get clothes from her. Yesterday they dropped off a bag and there was a JCrew cashmere sweater buried in the middle of the pile. It has a big cigarette burn in the arm and I have a feeling the girl's parents don't know about the burn or that she tucked the sweater in the giveaway bag for Alex. Of course the sweater was immediately tried on, but the hole is SO glaringly obvious and plus it doesn't fit Alex the right way. Her body isn't wide enough for it. That doesn't matter though. It is cashmere and from JCrew, so Alex slept with it last night and loves it, and has promised to dig it out of the trash if I throw it away.
So now I am thinking I should try to get back to sewing, and hack up the sweater and make it into a pillow. Then Alex really CAN sleep with it, and it'll look awesomely creative. If I can do it, it'll make a good Christmas present. I could hack off the cigarette arm to be thrown out, and hack off the good arm to fashion into a pocket, and all I need to find is the right sized pillow. Going to have to research some stuff - this would be easier with a regular fabric. Oh and figure out how to get the sweater away from Alex since she's trying to keep it from me.
9 comments:
I love your creativity! Not just about making the sweater into a pillow (which would be a wonderful Christmas gift indeed), but to write out the list of arguments with Dani.
I obviously only know what you tell me, but it might be good for Dani to move away for college. She's smart enough that she might be able to get a scholarship. It doesn't hurt for her to try and at least have the option available. You can see if it's viable financially and logistically. You and your sisters are so close that it might be good for her to figure out who she is on her own?
Just a thought.
As difficult as it might be for you to see Dani go, I agree that it might be really good for her. Let's put money aside for the moment (because many people can help you with strategies to get it paid for without throwing her into crippling debt)and consider-let's say it were paid for: would you not want her to go? I know that both of my daughters have benefited from being away and independent. And both of them figured out ways to get grants and scholarships so they could. If you were ever interested in hearing about those ways, I would be happy to email with you.
I don't know jack about jack, though-just running some ideas past you.
Oh, yeah-and what a cool Christmas gift idea for Alex!
He gets time to be with his buddies doing guy stuff and getting his space from the three ofyou :) while you do your stuff with your sisters.
As for your sister going away to college, think of the pros and cons of it and really listen to her and she should listen to you and you can both decide what to do. Maybe she can start of somewhere near home and in the future go to a college further away?
I'm not saying Danielle can't go out of state to be an asshole, the reasoning has to do with money issues. The only scholarship we're guaranteed for a full 4 years is to any school within the city system. I'm not down with loans and sure she can apply for other scholarships but there's no guarantee she'd get them. We're researching it more to make sure but every single adult keeps suggesting loans as a great option.
1) here's a sweater pillow tutorial:
http://www.brooklynlimestone.com/2010/09/steal-this-idea-cardigan-cushion.html
You don't need the right size pillow, you can stuff it with batting (available at any craft store) to make whatever size pillow you want.
2)Is it possible for her to move out and live with roommates while still going to a school in the city system? More expensive than living at home, yes, but being independent could be good for her. My parents paid for most of my tuition at a state school, I paid the rest, and I worked through school to support myself (place to live, eat, car, etc.)
Also, there are lots of scholarship opportunities out there. You could let her try for them, with the knowledge that if she can't get a full ride someplace else she's going to the city system. But that gets her out of your hair,she gets to try for a dream, and, you never know, she might get enough money to go someplace else.
Sam,
I hope I did not offend. In no way was I trying to imply either that you were an asshole (far from it!), or that Danielle should burden herself with tons of loans.
I know you will all put your heads together and find something that's right for her.
I think if we know anything about you by this time its that you never make decisions on the fly but always well thought out. I would never say she should get a loan but i think since you felt so out of depth with your own application that even from this early stage you should maybe speak to "yankee transfered" or someone to get more info. Also she will probably get out of your hair if you say she has to do the proper research herself and that you commit to going through it with her. then she has more control or at least the feeling of more control. NO ONE could mistake you for an asshole!
It's more than understandable that Danielle should go to a college within the city if that's how the scholarship rules are. However, if she does qualify and obtain one outside of the scholarship you are talking about, then that would be great for her too. She can do some research online or ask her high school counselors to guide her and give her ideas on what scholarships she could qualify for. Based on her grades, etc etc. Together you will find a solution :-)
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