The biggest Jewish holiday is coming up and Josh mentioned in passing that I needed to get two new nice outfits. Can't I just wear one of the work outfits I wore all summer? They're conservative enough. I think they're nice enough. Well, maybe not all of them, but at least two of them are. I mean, Arnie's Jewish - wouldn't he have said something over the summer if I had been wearing something inappropriate to work?
The first time, I didn't say anything. When Josh brought it up again, I asked. He frowned and then looked lost trying to explain. Finally he told me that just like you should get new bedding once a year, you should get new clothes for the jewish new year. Maybe I could just wear something of my sister's?
Josh didn't like that. "Just get something new! From a store! With tags!" He pointed out that if people didn't buy new, there would never be an opportunity for new to become old. That I should be happy to buy new because then there'll be more old for the people who come after me.
In moments like this it's easy to forget how much Josh conforms for me, for my family. All I can think about is that once again, I will do things his fancy way even if it makes me uncomfortable. It is probably very immature but I hope he gets uncomfortable while my sisters and I say something girlie, to get back at him.
The first time, I didn't say anything. When Josh brought it up again, I asked. He frowned and then looked lost trying to explain. Finally he told me that just like you should get new bedding once a year, you should get new clothes for the jewish new year. Maybe I could just wear something of my sister's?
Josh didn't like that. "Just get something new! From a store! With tags!" He pointed out that if people didn't buy new, there would never be an opportunity for new to become old. That I should be happy to buy new because then there'll be more old for the people who come after me.
In moments like this it's easy to forget how much Josh conforms for me, for my family. All I can think about is that once again, I will do things his fancy way even if it makes me uncomfortable. It is probably very immature but I hope he gets uncomfortable while my sisters and I say something girlie, to get back at him.
7 comments:
No offense to Josh but he's just nuts! This is the Rich talking, not the Jew. It seems like he's struggling with the rich/poor thing a little. (He'd do better to focus on some new years resolutions for himself.)
I disagree with Anonymous. The first part of the holiday, Rosh Hashana, is the new year. You should have something new to wear. It doesn't have to be expensive - I have bought many a holiday dress at Target. Last year the Rabbi's wife and I were wearing the SAME new dress from Target.
I think it's a little of both, your willingness to always look and try and understand the other side of the story/argument/discussion is a true gift, your abilities at compromise will serve you well in life.
Happy shopping either way, whether it's Old Navy or Barney's
I'm with Karen. This is totally a Jewish idea. You should have something new, and it doesn't have to be expensive. It also doesn't have to be two completely new outfits. Last year I got new shoes; this year I got two new tops to wear over old shells and skirts.
I'm embarrassed to hear Jewish people saying that Rosh Hashana is about buying new things. That's a travesty.
I also think it is a little bit of both. In answer to the last anonymous comment, no, that's not the entirety of what Rosh HaShana is about...but it is a significant traditional component of how people mark the holiday. Not only wearing new clothes, but eating a new fruit (something that you haven't had in at least three months) -- and there is a specific blessing that is said over both. If you don't have much money to spend and want to just get an inexpensive piece of costume jewelry or something else small like that, the purpose is served. The idea is to have that pleasing "new" feeling that comes when you wear something new.
That being said, it's not the most important part of the holiday, and if one can't, one doesn't. The essence of the holiday is examining one's deeds of the past year, repenting of misdeeds and resolving to do better, giving charity (before or after the holiday itself, for those who keep the religious laws), and praying.
Finally, Josh is the one who's Jewish, not you. Anything you do to celebrate his holiday is part of the adjustment you both make to understand and appreciate each other's lives and backgrounds. That effort is important for your relationship, but you don't have to do everything that he would do.
Ok, I love buying new clothes, so I can't speak on that...but the new bedding once a year has me totally flummoxed. SAY WHAT? I come from old money, old Jewish money as a matter of fact - and we have had the same bedding for er...7 years? Because it matches the decor and is in fine shape. Not everyone is cukoo like that....but ya gotta love him!!!!!
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