Monday, May 28, 2012


Sometimes, most of the time really, the three of us are chugging along at such a fast pace that there's no time for bullshit. There may be little blips here and there about who should clean up from dinner, but mostly all it took was one broken arm and the majority of those petty arguments fell away.

Then Josh got an iPad. It began with polite and reasonable requests. "If I get home first, can I play on it?" "Can I use it to follow a recipe for cannolis? I'll give you some." Then it morphed into made-up and vague reasons why it needed to be used, over the regular computer. "No, I need to finish this thing I was doing on it last time." Then it turned to bargaining. "You can use it if I'm in the shower or not home." Next, laughingly body-slamming each other out of the way, racing to our bedroom pick it up first.

The time Josh saw my sisters wrestling on our bed screaming at each other, we agreed this wasn't going to end well. Yeah. It didn't.

It ended with a slap and a scratch across the face that drew blood. A slap that resulted in torn clothing (not in the good way) and huge insults that are probably truths but harsh ones that hurt deeply, ones that can't be taken back and forgiven. It ended with two sisters who now aren't speaking to each other and won't sleep in the same room and glare at each other when forced to sit at the table for meals. I think our triangle might be permanently broken, that their relationship will never be as good as it was.


Chris said...

That sucks.

But you three have a connection that's more important than a stupid toy. And can outlive the nastiest insults. Wounds won't be permanent. But yes, some scars will stay, and I'm sorry for that.

This is a chance for them to learn forgiveness and grow. I hope they will both be willing to do it.

Just Me said...

If they want to get over this, they will. The three of you have always been so close, and one fight won't change that... in fact, their relationship will be stronger if they work through this.

But it may be helpful to go talk to someone who can mediate a little as they work through things. Give them time to cool down and be apart, and then try to find someone they both respect who is good at seeing both sides of things.

Anonymous said...

My sister and I are 17 and 19 and we fight like this all the time, we insult each other and hurt each other like body else can. We've both made the other bleed at some point. But after the anger subsides we go back to the way we were. Give it a week or 2

Nina said...

That is so sad. :(

But I agree...I think you three have something that transcends even the worst of hurts. You three have supported each other through hell and back again. Perhaps - hopefully - they will learn something about the other, that each of them has the capability to hurt them deeply, and they will be more aware of that. But I think that eventually they will want each other again.

I mean, maybe this just speaks to my own family's craziness, but even after years and years of being insulted and hurt by one of my siblings, I still wanted to work and work toward a good relationship with him till into my late 20s. I think the draw of family is pretty strong.

Still, I'm so sorry your sisters - and you - are hurting. :(

Yankee, Transferred said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I have only had one big fight with my Older Daughter in almost 24 years. It was 5 years ago. It was so horrible that I swore things would never be the same again, and in a way, they never were. In many, many ways things are much better than they ever were, but there was definitely a rift that we needed to mend, and you can still see the stitches. But the love never changed. Only the communication level. I'm sorry they went through this. They will mend, I promise.