Sunday, November 11, 2012


We had a fire family dinner tonight. We were talking about the damage from the hurricane, and how things have changed. I mentioned something about 9/11 and our firefighter was like "Oh, TOTALLY!" and talked about how this is bringing up so many of the same feelings - of total shock and having to get used to this new reality but also knowing this new reality will change soon into a different new reality soon, but not being sure what that different new reality will look like. He also said how weird it is for people that money can't buy electricity or gasoline - it doesn't matter who you are - if it's not your day to go to the gas station you just can't go (unless you're Donald Trump).

He asked me later if I'm cringing at the sound of airplanes. When I admitted I am, he told me he is too. We talked about how hard it is to breathe when you're scared. He told me some of the calming down stuff he does. It made me feel better to know a real professional is having problems with this too. It has been feeling like there has been screaming going on inside my head all this time and now it's a lot quieter.

Madison and Paul went home on Saturday. Their house had electricity by like Wednesday - they just felt like it was more fun to be staying with us in the city than at their home in Jersey with their parents. We were good hostesses despite how we started to feel.


Kizz said...

I've said this before but maybe not this way; you ARE a professional when it comes to trauma and PTSD. You have a degree from the University of Life. Glad you got some solid validation and are getting your coping skills in line.

OTRgirl said...

It always helps to talk to someone else who really get it (whatever it is) and to find out you're not alone. I'm glad you had that moment.

And I'm glad you have your home back! Sounds like you were all able to hold it together. Phew!