Thursday, January 16, 2014

The day I bought a brownie (that was already made)

Cooking is my friend. Some people watch tv and smoke weed. I cook and bake and bake and cook. I'm becoming friends with this gay guy at work and he mentioned something the other day about how when you go to anyone's house you always look in their bathroom cabinet. Not me. I try to peek in their kitchen cabinets. Other people get bored at your house and suggest playing with your makeup. I get bored at your house and suggest making stuff out of whatever you've got in the cabinets. Once, at Becca's house, she passed out when I was sleeping over. So I took a pad of post-its and wrote comments about each bit of food in the fridge and freezer. Really obnoxious comments. Like, "Freezer-burned, congealed scabs off a mad cow." Maybe I was drunk, whatever. Anyway.

So today I stopped at the store on the way home from work to pick up fish for dinner, and found this little package of two brownies. There was absolutely nothing special about them. I could make these at home in my sleep. But the fish was on sale, I liked the look of the brownies, so I bought them. Immediately upon arriving home, I hid the brownies. What I was doing with them hadn't been thought out. Was a whole fancy dessert being created around these? I didn't know.

After dinner I thought about cutting each brownie in half and giving everybody some. Didn't happen. Grabbed a bowl, grabbed my brownie package, grabbed Josh, and dragged us into the bedroom. I broke off a tiny bit of brownie to taste first, to confirm it tasted how I imagined. Seriously, all my brownie dreams came true. I'm not even a huge chocolate fan but this was totally a foodgasm. I broke off a bigger piece and pushed it in Josh's mouth. He looked happy, then confused.

Josh: You bought this?
Me: Yeah.
Josh: With money?
Me: I know.
Josh: It's so good!
Me: I know!
Josh: Your brownies are great too. I don't want ...
Me: No I get it. Totally. It's why I bought this.
Josh: How did you know?
Me: I just knew.
Josh: ... you bought a brownie. In a store.

When we'd finished the first brownie I took the package away. Sometimes a food is so good that if you overdose it'll kill your love for it. And I want to continue loving this brownie package. Later, getting ready for bed, Josh said it again, but quietly to himself. "She bought a brownie, in the store."

Apparently this is how I keep our relationship interesting.