Friday, October 17, 2014

Is this what being a feminist is?

So I've thought about it, and just can't be okay with Josh picking out my clothes on any sort of regular basis. It was helpful in the beginning, when I didn't know how to dress for all his fancy occasions, or to work in a professional setting. But now I do.

I want Josh to be the guy who either just mumbles "Sure, looks nice," when I come home with new stuff, or who sits in the Man Chair in clothing stores playing on his phone while he waits for me.

This blue shirt thing was a fluke, hopefully. (I'm still blue.) And these times of Josh helping with outfits for occasions I had no experience with were ... a growth period? That I'm now out of?

It just doesn't feel good to me. To have a man making decisions about what I put on my body? It feels like ... it's a slippery slope to being in a controlling relationship. Which is ridiculous since Josh is the most encouraging guy ever. And he was never authoritative about it. More like "Aim for skirts for work that don't make your ass look too good because that'll look slutty and they won't respect you," and "Try checking out Century 21."


Karen said...

It's good for you to figure this out for yourself. I think you have the right idea.

On the other hand, we all have our strengths. If Josh is great at picking out clothes for you, I would not discourage him. Maybe there's a middle ground here somewhere.

Suzanne said...

Buying clothes is a chore that needs to be done. It doesn't matter who does it. Controlling behavior is designed to oppress. Josh picking out things you wear isn't about power, it's about love, respect, and helpfulness.
I love it when my husband picks things out for me. He usually gets things I wouldn't think to wear and they always look nice. Having said that, I do buy the majority of my own wardrobe...

Rosie said...

My husband buys all of my clothes. I hate to shop; he loves it, and I simply don't care what I wear as long as I'm comfortable.

Monica said...

Being a feminist is doing what works for you based on your skills and interests and your partners skills and interests. If something is stressful for you and fun for Josh by all means he should be the one to take on that task.