Tuesday, June 16, 2015

A line has been crossed

It took me a long time to warm up to our vacations, but now I can get excited about them. It makes me happy to cook for Josh. Nothing is expected in return. It makes Josh happy to take me on vacations. Nothing is expected in return.

Right now, we are supposed to be in Spain. A month ago, Josh asked if I would mind terribly if we canceled our 12-day trip. Because of his mother. Of course I said it was fine. In thinking about it, a part of me wondered why we had to stay, since Josh's sister is here "to help." Really though, I wasn't wondering at all - I was just trying to find a way that we could go. Because Josh has sucked me in. Now I love his style of vacations.

So I spent today at work moping about my lost European vacation. We were going to go wine tasting. We were going to see rolling hills of ... hills. We were going to eat fancy food, and go to Barcelona and other places.

Josh felt like he wouldn't be able to have fun on vacation while his mother is chemo-ing it up and getting yelled at for the Pony Fiasco of 1998. He didn't want to bother going all that way and spending all that money when he wouldn't enjoy it. I understand completely. Really I do. It's just ... this one trip was planned in 2014. I did research. I had lists going. I was excited.

Which is why I'm really bummed. But I can't say anything. Because who wants to be the girlfriend that complains her boyfriend canceled the European trip he was going to take her on while his mother is going through chemo? Not me. But I have definitely crossed a line into becoming a person who looks forward to vacations.

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Late last week we (me and Josh's family) got invited to dinner at the home of one of Laurie's friends. I had to show up straight from work. When I got there, the hostess showed me around. Except, at one point she waved her hand and told me, "The powder room is there, in case you'd like to freshen up ..." and then looked at me pointedly. Before I left work I brushed my hair and teeth and used one of those oil-blotting sheets on my face and put on lip gloss. But it REALLY seemed like she wanted me to use her powder room. So I washed my hands and stood around counting to 30. When I mentioned it to Josh after we got home, he told me next time to ask to "use the powder room to freshen up" and then they won't keep looking at me suspiciously throughout the night. Rich people can be so weird sometimes.


Nina said...

Having read your blog for years and years, it makes me really happy to read that you've embraced the experience of traveling with Josh. And it's totally understandable and natural that you're disappointed. (And of course also understandable that Josh wants to stick around his mom right now.) I hope you get to go on your adventure in Spain sometime soon!

And I totally lol'd at your description of the powder room incident. That is totally and completely weird!

Suzanne said...

That powder room story is hilarious! I guess middle class people just ask where the restroom is when we actually need it?

What a bummer about your vacation. Spain sounds dreamy. Next year...or maybe in the winter when it is miserable here?