When we lived with Aunt Elaine I was sure that once we moved out we'd have friends over every day, and we'd serve spaghetti and meatballs with garlic bread when they stayed for dinner. I don't know why - we barely ever made meatballs. When I was little my nana would make that every Sunday but I can't remember what my mom made when friends stayed for dinner.
Anyway, it hasn't quite turned out the way I thought it would. It hadn't crossed my mind that I would be so busy every day. I was so sure that getting out of Aunt Elaine's would equal more free time. Not sure what went wrong there. Didn't realize that if Josh had a friend over and Alex had a friend over, that I'd be having to clean up after them or be the bad guy who bitches at them to clean up. Or that if Josh and his friend decided to order pizza for dinner, Alex and Dani would want pizza too instead of a real dinner. Oh and by the way, two boys can totally eat an entire pizza without the help of three girls. Which means like $15 to order a second pie. Then my sisters think I'm a bitch when I say no. It's like everything falls apart when friends come over.
So now that I finally can have friends over, I don't even really want to and it's too complicated. Never mind that I don't feel like there's any time to create friendships. I'm so sad. I hate everybody. So much for college being the best time of my life. Seems like college just sucks slightly less than high school on the home front, but is much more work on the school front. I hate my life.
2 comments:
Hey, don't be too hard on yourself.
You're just overwhelmed with having to adapt with so many new things that involve a lot of people right now.
There were just you and your sisters before, now your boyfriend and his friends are in the picture as well.
Try and take it one day at a time. You can do it. Just Believe that.
You blog readers do.
Ditto what Hazwani said, take it easy woman, so much new stuff so quickly = stress...you're doing good, life is certainly better not being with Elaine, having tutoring, having more say and control over what comes in and out of your space...it'll settle down, college is so much more work, with much less free time then people think, the first year is huge adjustment under the most ideal circumstances, breathe.
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