Share With the Group

Maybe if my mother had gotten her wish and one of her daughters had been a son the three of us wouldn't be so close. Or maybe it's because we share a room and depend on each other for so much, everything really.

Alex got the best presents of all of us. Probably because she's cutest, but also because she grew a lot and all her pants were too short and looked retarded. Danielle and I pooled our money and got Alex two pairs of real jeans. Real ones, that are neither from Target nor used. We couldn't resist and both are slightly too long but Alex is used to that and she'll have them for a while.

There's the fancy Kate Spade stationery and stuff. She also got a bunch of really cute ankle socks from JCrew. Also three bracelets from the Gap. This is the fanciest Christmas Alex has ever had I think. Which means it's the fanciest Christmas for me and Danielle too, because you know we'll be helping ourselves to those socks, stationery and bracelets.

P.S. For like the last month, Dani has had a boyfriend. He didn't call or text on Christmas Eve or Christmas, didn't give her a present, didn't give a card. Nothing. Danielle told me last night she's dumping him today.

Merry Christmas

Christmas Glitter Graphics

Work It

In addition to being surprised when tourists decide, after coming all the way from East Bumblefuck to New York City, to dine at this dumpy diner I am also always shocked that THEY are shocked at the prices.

They sit there and stare at the menu and make loud comments about how where THEY live a BLT costs so much less. Then, as if it's the waitstaff who sets menu prices, the tourists stiff them on a tip.

Hey Tourists! You're all assholes! A five dollar tip on a $70 dinner is not enough. If you can't afford an appropriate tip then you can't afford to be eating out. Oh and stop thinking you are so smart by eating over half your food and then complaining about it. If something's wrong you should complain by the second bite. Not by the second to last bite.

Also, stop asking me to say words so you can hear my New York accent. Haven't you noticed by now that I fuck with you by using a Chicago or Boston accent? Stupid tourists.

Holy Gift Card, Batman

We got a gift card to Abercrombie & Fitch for $350 yesterday in the mail. It came with a card that had no words but a picture of a fire truck. Holy shit. This is like beyond awesome.

Danielle already told Alex she can't have anything from this store because it's too expensive, and Alex nodded like she knows that's her lot in life, as the youngest. We will let her pick colors and veto something we're getting if she really hates it, because eventually it will become hers. Other than that she gets no say.

This is the most exciting thing to happen in ages. Just the idea of having new clothes that aren't cheap makes me so happy.

Officially On the Wagon

Told Josh today about making out with the other boy. He was totally hurt and I feel so bad. That I lied when he asked if we did anything else because I couldn't bring myself to hurt him more.

Why am I so stupid? Even though we agreed we could hook up with other people I totally knew Josh wasn't, and I shouldn't have either. What is wrong with me?

Excuse me please while I go bang my head against the wall.

Where Is My Head?

Went to a party tonight. Made out with a really cute boy. Who wasn't Josh.

Uptight Tourists

Alex loves her skull gloves. Sometimes when it's cold she wears them to sleep. This is her second pair. Wait no maybe it's her third. The point is that she wears them all the time. She puts them through the wash about once a month so the white stripes will stay clean.

Today we went into the city and standing in CVS (to PAY for stuff) when I realized the people behind us were not only tourists but tourists that were talking about us. About Alex. About her gloves.

Those are so offensive! So inappropriate! And for a CHILD! Who do you think bought them for her? What kind of parents allow a young girl to wear skulls? And on and on and on. I turned around to look and it was two women wearing Christmas sweaters. I rest my case.

Of course I glared at them before turning back and pretending to ignore them. Alex heard them and told the tourists she doesn't have parents. They rolled their eyes at her and made noise about how of course the types of children who would wear skulls would also lie. How horrified our parents would be if they knew she was denying their existence.

Dear Lame Tourists,

I'm sorry your life is so boring and magazine-perfect. I'm sorry you are not able to break out of your simple little life and realize not everyone has parents. Not everyone is offended by skulls. I'm sorry you forgot you are in New York City, where people do much more offensive things than wearing skulls on gloves.

You are stupid assholes,
Love,
Sam

Dinnah? Suppah?

It's hard to get three girls happy, healthy, not rushed or preoccupied all at the same time. At any given time one of us is either sick, stressing over a deadline, in a fight with a friend (or sister), or something. Most times right before a fire family dinner one of us is either faking it or just got yelled at to suck it up and pretend to be in a good mood.

Tonight all the stars aligned perfectly. I am almost all better, better enough that I can ignore the lingering cough and the wheezing when climbing stairs. We were all in a good mood. By 1pm all homework was done. Food for the week was bought. Laundry was done and folded. Alex's cookies were wrapped and ready to be given. The card was signed by all of us. We almost didn't know what to do with ourselves, being so prepared with extra time to spare. Normally we're rushing and scrambling to be on time.

Our fire family tonight is from Boston, and they have thick New England accents. They also are always wearing turtlenecks or doing other Bostony things like talking about the Red Sox. Our dinner was amazing. Probably not too healthy, but so very excellent. Tons of seafood, dishes of melted butter scattered around the table, just ... the seafood. Shrimp in the salad, homemade clam chowder, raw crab, lobster, all so good. I am so glad we brought their cookies tonight.

We came home with two quarts of chowdah and stories of Topher playing practical jokes. Sated.

Some Stuff

We have gotten a lot this year and are trying to give back as much as possible. Alex is baking cookies that we're giving out to people who've given to us. It's her job because she is the only one who doesn't have a job. I mean a real one that pays money. She's doing pretty good at baking. None of the cookies have come out burnt so far or anything. It is really nice to come home to a yummy-smelling house.

I did finish all my medicine and am much better. My cough hasn't gone away all the way but I sleep harder at night so the tradeoff is working okay.

Two cops came into the diner today. They sat at a table near where I stand and I could see them eating. When the waitress was headed to their table to give their check the manager went rushing over and took it from her. Then the cops paid and their check was only like half what it should have been. I wonder if they tipped well. Forgot to ask.

There was more but I forgot.

A Little Clarifying On Stealing

1. Danielle has been stealing for years. She's better at it than I am.
2. We really don't worry about getting caught. We're not stealing from the Gap here. We're stealing from shitty corner bodegas and supermarkets and drugstores.
3. The part that I needed - and still need - to think on is the idea that the world can owe you. Not whether or not stealing is right.

Of course it's wrong to steal. We know that's wrong. Lucca saying the world owes us and that we deserve what we steal is what made me pause. I'm not sure about agreeing with that part.

The World Owes Me

I was going food shopping yesterday when my friend Lucca called. She decided to meet up with me and go food shopping too since her dads have the flu and we met up and went in together.

We went into a shop on the way to the supermarket and looked around. Lucca stole two bags of Jelly Bellys. Then we went into a fancy food store to look around and she stole almost $20 worth of food, two bracelets and a candle. In the supermarket I bought $57 of food, and walked out with about $80 worth of food. I stole cheese, deodorant, avacados, cough medicine, and some other stuff.

On the way to the train we were talking about stealing and the level of wrongness. Lucca doesn't think it's wrong, because the stores are ripping us off. That it's not fair that gas prices went down but food prices haven't. We were once in Old Navy and she tried on a pair of boots (like fake Uggs) and then walked out wearing them, and she said "They've gotten enough money out of us."

If we had more money I wouldn't steal food. We only steal stuff we need. It's still wrong to steal even if we need it, but I don't feel too horribly. Lucca told me I shouldn't feel bad at all. "The world OWES you. ALL poor people should help themselves."

I am not so sure about this. Danielle pointed out everything Lucca steals is fun stuff, not real things, and that she steals because it's fun, not because her fathers can't afford things for her. I have to think some more about this.

Fighting

Every single day this week, including tonight, I have been home by 11 o'clock. Every single day I have had two glasses of orange juice. Every single night I have been in bed with the lights off by 1:30 a.m.

Every single morning I wake up totally coughing and barely able to speak with my chest hurting a lot. Yes, I am taking all my medicine.

I still come home from school and can't let myself sit down on my bed because otherwise I won't get up again. I still sleep really hard each night - I slept through a smoke alarm going off two nights ago.

I am tired. I am also tired of being sick.

Fire Presents

Danielle got this bracelet-making kit today from one of the fire families. It came with this little jar of stuff to make cookies, red slipper socks that have big white pom poms on them, and lotions from Victoria's Secret.

She wants to exchange the lotions for pants that say something obnoxious across the ass. We are going to go look this weekend. Danielle is very excited. Alex is also very happy because the bracelet kit was given to her, and she is going to use it to make all her friends (from sixth grade) presents.

Schoolio

Alex is in love with seventh grade and wants to marry it. It used to take her four or five hours to get her homework done, now it takes two or three hours instead, and it's a much happier block of time. I am not sure Alex really has friends yet; she has people to sit with at lunch, but that's it. Danielle asked if she's doing anything for holiday presents for friends but Alex didn't give her a straight answer.

Maybe on a day when I have midterms I'll go visit Alex to see how it's really going. Right after I take a nap.

Oh Naps, How I Miss Thee

Today I did not get to take a nap and it was a school AND work day. Oh also a heavy homework day. Tonight bedtime will come early and guess who will be in bed before 1 a.m.? Moi.

You know what stinks about missing school because you're sick? When you go back your teachers think you're back to 100% and expect all the work to be done. Like your first day back you should be handing in all the work. Then when you ask for more of an extension they all go, "What the hell have you been so busy doing the last two weeks?" Well, I was busy being sick, and trying to breathe, and sleeping.

In the past sometimes when I've been sick Josh has had me come over and sleep at his house. I sleep better there - it's so much quieter and the air is so much cleaner and the bed is like laying on a cloud. He didn't offer this time and of course I didn't ask.

My mom never liked baby talk so we never did it. One time I came home from school to find Topher laying on my bed fully dressed. I stood in the doorway looking at him until he looked back at me. "I tie-tie." I nodded and closed the bedroom door to let him sleep. He had other baby words he used with me but I can't remember them anymore.