Monday, December 6, 2010

Gold digging secrets

Tonight there was a vodka and latke party that one of Josh's cousins was throwing. She is way older - like a real grownup, in her early 30's I think. We were the youngest people there, by over a decade. The cousin just became a child psychologist, moved in with her boyfriend (actually he moved into her place) and got engaged. Shoshana is really bubbly and warm, but her fiance is a little hard to read, kind of quiet, cold. In fact, he's so quiet that I once told Josh I thought Gavin didn't like me, and Josh had to tell me he's just like that with everyone. Tonight I talked with Gavin more than any of the other times I've met him, and he was a little more talkative.

At the party I talked with a girl who's an organic chemist. She does something with DNA that I didn't quite understand, but she was totally sweet. It was really cool - she is a Spanish opera singer in her "spare time" and had performed today. She showed me the fake eyelashes she was still wearing, and told me they are really difficult to put on.

When the party was winding down I was chatting with Gavin and he told me how they're going to travel for two weeks, to England and then Morocco. Aside from being almost positive Morocco is in Africa I didn't really know enough about either place to ask Gavin anything intelligent so I just asked if he was excited. It felt lame.

Shoshana insisted I take home leftover brisket and latkes, so we were standing in the kitchen talking while she packed up some containers. At one point she was putting other things in the bag also, and Gavin walked by and questioned Shoshana about it. I felt really awkward then, like it would have been better if I hadn't had any leftovers at all.

On the way home Josh told me, as he ate from the bag of M&Ms, that Gavin is a gold digger, and so he gets really territorial any time he's worried anyone else is taking advantage of Shoshana, because then there might not be enough left for him. I never met a gold digger before. Also, I never really realized a guy could be one. I asked how Josh knew. He said among other things that Gavin is too un-ashamed of not having a real job. Do other people in their family think Gavin's a gold digger? Josh claims everyone does. Do they all think I'm one? They don't. I am so relieved.

I wonder if this is a common rich-people problem. Worrying that anyone outside of your rich-people circle is just after your money. Now I am going to go lay in bed and wonder if Josh was lying when he said his family doesn't think I'm a gold digger to spare my feelings and paranoia.

7 comments:

miSz tUna said...

Hi :)

Judging on how you've been planning and managing your finances so far? I really don't think his family would think that.

mizasiwa said...

i dont htink anyone could think you were a gold digger!! Your way too much of a nice person and way too on top of your own finances. Also on my last count your had 2 or 3 concurent jobs!!! I dont think you have anything to worry about - Gavin sounds like a total loser poor girl!

Anonymous said...

Not a chance they think that about you...remember how you came to be living in your current apartment...if you were a gold digger you would have been all over finding a big place and not caring about how much it cost.

Nina said...

I definitely think that there is no way they are thinking that about you. No way, no how.

I don't think it's just a rich people problem. Even people who aren't really well off like Josh's family can be married to people who lie about and mooch. It's not an income disparity thing so much as an overall attitude, I think.

Anonymous said...

I think the fact that you were somewhat clueless that this guy is a gold-digger in the first place speaks volumes. I don't think you can *be* a gold digger if you don't even recognize when someone else is doing it. From other things you've written it appears that you go WAY OUT OF YOU WAY not to accept financial help from Josh and his family. They must know that.

And guess what? If they do think *you* are a gold digger, then you're in a lose-lose situation from the start because it means that they would think that of anyone who doesn't have the money they do.

It's highly unlikely that they think it of you, anyway. They never would have let Josh move in with you if they thought you were after his money. They would have done everything in their power to avoid it, or to avoid contribution financially to your current living situation. I think you can rest easy that you're in the clear.

Lisa @ Lisa Moves said...

I think you can rest easy; from what you've written it sounds like you've made it very clear how you feel about living within your budget and not accepting financial help. A gold digger would not have decided that utensils and dishes were in the "nice to have but can live without category" when furnishing an apartment. Plus you work your ass off.

I don't think gold-diggers are only a rich-people problem. At any income level you have people who latch onto others and expect to be taken care of. You aren't that person.

Yankee, Transferred said...

Not only do you bear no resemblance to a gold digger, Laurie seems from your writing to be waaaay too savvy have any respect for you if you were. And she clearly respects you.

Rest easy.