1. It's really, really awkward to try to live in the same house with someone you're fighting with. Friday and Saturday night Josh stayed out. He came back early this afternoon and tonight I'm sleeping with my sister because I can't see how you can sleep in the same bed with someone when you're in a fight with them. Soon after Josh got home we left for fire family dinner, then when we got back he was on the phone. I took a shower and got into Danielle's bed to study and Josh never came to talk to me.
2. Alex had a growth spurt. This is why I hate buying her brand new jeans. Her winter coat barely reaches her wrists and she is shoving her jeans down her hip bones so the bottoms will not look retarded. So this morning I told her to find a new coat she likes. I was thinking maybe she is old enough to shop for herself. Turns out I was completely wrong. Guess this week I will go to Old Navy with Danielle and have her pick out the warmest coat they have that's under $50 that she likes, so she can give her old one to Alex. I don't know why she has such expensive taste, but the shitty thing is when she doesn't get the most expensive thing she's picked out, Alex always looks like she's so hurt, as if we didn't get her something just to be mean.
Danielle pointed out to her that Alex can always decide to save up her own money and buy a coat herself. Alex hated this idea, and promptly make herself look like shit by yelling, "But I just spent all that time saving up to pay Sammer back!" Yeah. Like that's my fault. Dani took pity anyway and said she'll buy Alex one pair of pants. So I said I would too, and then Danielle and I agreed in private we'll get her a third pair for Christmas.
3. Maybe I am getting sick. I've had a headache all weekend. Last night I was hot and cold all at the same time and couldn't sleep even though I was totally exhausted. I don't want to write my English paper. I don't want to do my part of the statistics project I'm supposed to turn in. I don't want to make my own fucking soup. I don't want to get on the train tomorrow and get coughed on by weird tourists and have strangers touching me. Nerves are totally rubbed raw.
11 comments:
Two suggestions:
1) Check out the Overstocks section of the Land's End website. There's some really worthwhile stuff there, probably much warmer than anything you'd get at Old Navy, for just under $50. (Ex: http://www.landsend.com/pp/LightweightDownJacket~217294_59.html?bcc=y&action=order_more&sku_0=::IVO&CM_MERCH=IDX_00008__0000000141&origin=index and http://www.landsend.com/pp/ThermaCheck200PeaCoat~217318_59.html?bcc=y&action=order_more&sku_0=::PRH&CM_MERCH=IDX_00008__0000000141&origin=index) Also, if you go onto the main overstocks page today (Dec 13), you'll see that they're having a big sale with with additional discounts and free shipping, depending on how much you're buying.
2) Has Alex outgrown her jeans in ways other than length? Because if not, perhaps instead of buying her more pants to replace practically new ones you might consider buying her boots. They'll keep her feet warm, they'll be exciting in a different way, and a couple of inches near the ankle makes no difference over boots.
Sorry -- forgot that Blogger makes you manually create hyperlinks.
http://www.landsend.com/pp/LightweightDownJacket~217294_59.html?bcc=y&action=order_more&sku_0=::IVO&CM_MERCH=IDX_00008__0000000141&origin=index
http://www.landsend.com/pp/ThermaCheck200PeaCoat~217318_59.html?bcc=y&action=order_more&sku_0=::PRH&CM_MERCH=IDX_00008__0000000141&origin=index
great minds, I was just going to post the Lands end suggestion. another thought is ebay; I've found some great deals there.
Thanks, we will check out Sears (in Brooklyn!) to look at the Lands End peacoats for Dani.
Alisha Al's pants are like leggings, and not in the good way.
Haven't commented in a while.
Guess the good news is that Alex is growing and healthy.
Sounds more like you and Josh are avoiding each other in order to avoid further fighting. Can you have a discussion with him, letting him know that you won't stand for being verbally attacked, but biting your tongue on other things he might say that would be upsetting to you until he is done and you get the big picture of what is on his mind, what it is he needs for you to understand, how it is that he needs to feel supported by you?
So glad your mother visited you in a dream and comforted you!
Is a way for Josh to feel supported by you with respect to the visiting of relatives without your actually getting involved in the dispute between Josh and his parents?
Please try to keep snacks with you, Sam! It's pretty clear you are now able to correlate feeling shaky or similarly unwell with not having eaten. On the way home that day, once you realized you had accidentally skipped lunch, if you had even had a few hard candies or a juice box that might have at least helped with the rest of the walk home. You handled things well once you got home! Glad Danielle took care of you; wish she had made dinner too.
How did the gingerbread house project turn out?
You know Josh's family does not think you are a gold digger. Gavin is unashamed of not having a real job; you have two jobs that involve great responsibility and go to school full time. Gavin is territorial about Shoshana's "gold," wanting it for himself; you hardly want any "gold" Josh wants to give you.
If Joe were just some guy, he hasn't done anything yet that could be reported to anyone. Since it is within the context of the school, however, it might be worth reporting to a dean, in case his behavior becomes more extreme with you or others in the school community. Meanwhile, just be direct and walk away; instead of engaging in a conversation by responding to his questions with questions (that are obviously beyond his grasp anyway), just say he is not invited (or whatever), goodbye.
And good for you for inviting your classmate! It was a nice thing to do for her, and it's great you are finally inviting people over like that. It sounds like the experience of inviting turned out nicely for you both; did the dinner?
It was interesting to read the day's schedule you shared. You didn't waste one bit of time! You made excellent use of your time; there just wasn't enough of it in one day. Are all days like that for you? If you are doing okay money-wise, could you cut down on tutoring and thereby get home and possibly to bed almost two hours earlier?
The pillow idea for Alex is lovely. It's a nice thing to do with a sweater in any case, but especially pertinent here because of the sleeping-with-it aspect.
(Continued . . .)
Are things still broken between you and Alex? Since you are getting along now well enough and even able to be sisterly, maybe you can take some time to sit down with her to try to repair things? Take her to a cafe for hot cocoa, perhaps, look her straight in the eyes, and tell her that you love her and you forgive her and you trust her again. Tell her why. And listen to what she might have to say.
It's great that you wanted to do Thanksgiving, that you are now wanting to do such things. It's a long way off, but next year, way before Josh's parents start to plan anything, you can let them know you want to do it and invite not only them but if you like Arnie and a few other of their usual guests. If that still won't work out, have a Sunday brunch open house kind of thing. And even though it's not the same thing, since you and your sisters celebrate Christmas, why not do something for that holiday?
Again, good for you for inviting Kelly over for dinner! This is just what you ought to be doing. No big deal, a spur-of-the-moment invitation, nothing fancy necessary, just joining you for the dinner you'd be having anyway, with maybe a little something extra special, to offer some hospitality and spend some time together. It sounds like it was nice and a good thing to do to help a rewarding new friendship begin.
As for the traveling, the TSA situation stinks. The Israelis do it right, with much less inconvenience and certainly less trauma. Glad you've decided which way to go with the security thing, and hope it works out easily and you are able to enjoy your vacation! Yes, you'll be able to work out everything with Josh before then if you just try.
Whew! Good luck on finals!
Hang in there, Sam. We all go through periods of time where we feel like shit. Force yourself to do what you need to for school. You will have vacation coming up soon.
gmg
One more thing: If you are feeling so run down physically and like you can't handle the train emotionally to boot, it's a good time to put funds from your cab budget to use, no?
Hi,
My mom died when I was 13, and my sister 11, and I had to do all kinds of grown-up stuff, and it sucked. I just wanted my mom back to take care of the little things (like coats, or short pants, or whatever). You are doing an awesome job, and your sisters are lucky to have you. So is your bf, but he doesn't seem to realize it.
You also have some really good commenters with lots of practical advice. I'm a mom myself now, and what they are telling you is good stuff. I've had a couple of people in my life that I could lean on like that, and it is worth more than gold.
You're a great kid/sister/daughter/girlfriend/niece - hang in there!
How you can parent AND sister Dani and Alex, along with cooking, studying, commuting for yourself is beyond me. I know you do it because it needs doing, but my hat is off to you. The fighting with Josh just plain sucks. I'm sorry. Sounds like it's time for a sit-down conversation. Good luck. Hang in there. You're terrific.
Two nights? That was kinda shitty on Josh's part. He has always sounded like such a great boyfriend in most of your posts.Was this out of the ordinary? Kind of sounds like he made it much bigger than it needed to be. Was he looking for an excuse to stay out and party? Did he really want you to be with him or did he just feel guilty for wanting to go out and felt stuck? I'd get to the bottom of it Sam.he's got some explaining to do. of course this is what I would say to my daughter or sisters if they were in the same position. but I tend to be overly protective. so take this with a grain of salt! hope all's well now with you and Josh.
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