The type of person who goes snorkeling

At the performing arts camp I used to go to, everybody had to take swimming each day. That's how I learned how to swim. It's different to swim in the ocean. The water can push you where you weren't planning to go. There's weird stuff on the floor of the ocean that you can get stuck in. So even though I can swim, and swim well enough to pass the test at camp to be allowed to have free swim rather than have to take lessons, I don't feel like a good swimmer. I'm scared of swimming in the ocean. Going in up to about my knees and playing with another person is comfortable. But jumping off the side of a boat deep into the ocean and then swimming around? Sure, someone else is also swimming around, but they're looking at their own stuff, not making sure I'm not drowning.

So going out into the Atlantic Ocean in a boat and jumping off the side to go snorkeling was really, really scary. Also, I don't think Josh gets just how uncomfortable it is to do fancy things. I mean, are you supposed to tip the guy driving (steering?) the boat? When you eat, are you supposed to invite him to eat with you? There really needs to be a manual about how to do fancy schmancy things.

I think the boat guy could see on my face it was my first time going on a boat before I even stepped off the dock, because he started telling me a lot about the boat and showed me around to explain all the ropes and what the boom is, and how to like, drive the boat. I got to steer and tack and everything. Wearing the flipper things was kind of uncomfortable, but Josh pointed out that was because we weren't in the water. He turned out to be right - the second we jumped in, the flippers made me feel like a powerful and kind of graceful swimmer.

It's really hard to trust that putting something over your face, in your mouth, will help you breathe and not suffocate you. I was worried a big wave would come and water would go down the pipe and straight into my mouth, but Josh kept saying there's a reason people go snorkeling in calm ocean waters. I kept picking my head up out of the water to make sure a tsunami wasn't heading in to shore.

When I talked to Danielle last night she kept telling me to relax and let things be fun, that if I never got another vacation I'd be kicking myself, and so angry at not taking advantage of this time. She's totally right. It was so hard to do though. I should really meet up with a girl gold-digger and get some advice on how to be comfortable on fancy trips. At least I'll know how to go on an airplane tomorrow. I asked Josh if I'll be more comfortable flying coach tomorrow and he laughed and swore I will be uncomfortable and wish we were flying first class.

This will sound disgusting but I am exhausted from being on vacation. I kind of just want to go home and lay around talking to my sisters. Not sure the vacation is working.