Monday, January 10, 2011

Well, it wasn't a fire family dinner

Yesterday morning after we went to work out, I decided to try out the bathtub. So I filled it up with bubbles and got in. Josh was watching tv on the bed, but I think he was only pretending. It was kind of weird.

But it was kind of fun to call my sisters from the bath. They were going to see Little Fockers. Danielle started to tell me something about Josh, but Alex shut her down. I tried to (and sort of succeeded at) not be paranoid.

When we were leaving for the beach, I decided it was my day to direct, since Josh got Saturday. I marched him into a drugstore where we loaded up on books, magazines, snacks and drinks, then we went and laid out all day. Here is a very, very terrible reason to not break up with a boyfriend: you look like a total ass parading your grapefruit boobs in front of boys at the beach you hope to hook up with. So what I'm saying is, there is cringe-worthy people watching on South Beach.

After lunch Josh's mood got worse and worse, the closer we got to dinner. At 3:30 we had to go back to the hotel to shower off the sand and get dressed for dinner. The people had wanted to meet at 4:30 but Josh made some excuse about how we couldn't get there that early and talked them into 5. So we were aiming to leave at 4:30 to be there on time. I made it a point to be quick and was ready by 4. At 4:15 Josh first got into the shower. He was so angry that I didn't say anything. I ran down to the lobby and asked where I could get flowers, so by the time I got back, Josh was almost dressed.

I sat on the balcony watching the ocean and pretending to read while Josh stood in the bathroom for 25 minutes fucking with his hair or whatever. It was making me frustrated that Josh's anger was going to make me look bad to these people I'd never met before. Boys are so stupid. We got there a half hour late. Hopefully the flowers helped ease the lateness.

The people's house had a pool in the backyard with a fountain, and a baby grand piano in their living room. They are older than Josh's parents, and the wife told me she cooked for two days in preparation for us coming, and already took a Valium. Oh my god. She's the kind of woman who talks about her household help by saying, "my girl made the cake" and thinks there's nothing wrong with that.

I have to be honest - the food ranged from really bland to kind of bad. Josh and the guy hung out watching the huge screen tv that was bigger than me. I was in the kitchen with the wife while she fluttered around - her kitchen was so big. It was pretty incredible and had everything a dream kitchen should have - even that faucet near the stove for filling stock pots.

When I went to the bathroom I peaked into the master bedroom and it was really plain and average - after seeing the kitchen I expected ... something else. I don't know what you could do to make a bedroom fancy but just figured theirs would have it. Later Josh told me they have a mini-fridge in there, but I didn't see it.

We left a little before 8, and on the way out the wife told me she'd be spending all of the following day at the spa recovering. I told her all her hard work was very appreciated and she made me feel totally at home. What the hell do you say to someone when they've admitted to having had to take drugs to get through a dinner?

The husband drove us back to the hotel, and we sat in the lobby for a few minutes processing the dinner. Finally I admitted to still being hungry and we agreed to go get a second dinner. I went to the front desk and asked for a good Italian restaurant recommendation. Josh laughed at me for that, but Sunday nights EQUAL Italian food! At least he was in a better mood.

Today we go out on a boat and jump off it into the ocean. Because apparently I do these kinds of things now.


Bec Mitchell said...

OMG that woman sounds a real treat. Shows you all the money in the world cannot buy happiness.

So glad you are relaxing and having such a great time. Make sure you eat lots of cake and chocolate.

Kizz said...

Sounds like you're getting pretty damn good at this vacationing thing.

Yankee, Transferred said...

I cannot even imagine either being that person, or being "entertained" by that person. Who the hell actually TELLS someone that they had to be medicated to get through a dinner??? Way to make a guest feel welcome!