Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Abortions will be had

Let's talk about responsibility. The responsible thing to do is to not get pregnant until you're ready to be a parent. Whether you go about that by being a virgin or by using birth control, it's all good. But you can't responsibly avoid getting raped. It is honestly a miracle that I didn't get raped when I lived in the South Bronx. You can't responsibly avoid being the victim of incest.

The reality is that it's not always the responsible thing to do when one finds themselves pregnant to continue with the pregnancy and become a parent. Stephanie, I think you misunderstood Chris' point. Also, you insulted everyone who read your comment who has had an abortion. Not everyone is thrilled to be alive. Not everyone has the same abilities and chances as everyone else. And not everyone who gets an abortion is selfish!

Quite frankly, I think being a parent is the most selfish thing a person can do. Think about it - you're literally dictating someone else's life, their existence, because of what YOU want. How obnoxious and self-centered is that?

I've never ever heard anyone who chose not to abort say that they wish they hadn't had their child. But it's also pretty political incorrect, not to mention cruel - like a verbal slap across the face - to say, "I wish you'd never been born." At the other end, I've never heard anyone say they've regretted having an abortion. The only times that's come through it's been pro-life propaganda, which automatically gets dismissed.

If I had an abortion would I be sad? Sure. But I wouldn't regret my decision. If I'm ever ready, mentally, financially, and physically (and relationshiply) to have a baby, then I'll happily go for it. But it's outrageously unfair to a child to bring it into the world when you don't really want it. To raise it in a household where it feels resented. This girl Julia who I went to high school with, was an accident, and she knew it, because that was the attitude in her household. Her mother was always telling her she shouldn't have to deal with Julia, that she was done. Really? It's good that Julia wasn't aborted? I mean, it was good for me - I liked her - but you can't live for someone else.

Stephanie, maybe you made the right choice for yourself, but that doesn't mean the choice you made would be right for everyone else. The reality is, people will not stop having abortions if they feel they need them. If they need them, they will go to back-alley doctors who use dirty instruments, wire hangers will be used, and women will die rather than have unwanted babies. Until you open your home and start adopting a few babies, you owe it to all of us women to keep abortion legal, which will keep it safe.


Franziska from Germany said...

Hi Sam,

I am following your blog for a while now, and although I comment on blogs very very rarely, I cannot resist now. Your reflection on abortion and on responsibility is very inspiring. I have long waited to finally be in the place (financially & relationshiply) to become a parent. My daughter is now 5 years old, and when, in a few years, I have THE TALK with her, I plan to show her your post.

I wanted to applaud your thoughtfulness and your tolerance. You are an incredible young woman, and I am very glad I "met" you.

Isabel said...

Yep, a perfect summary, Sam. You nailed it right on the head.

Stephanie said...

Sam, I admire you're stance on this issue and we'll just agree to disagree on this. That's why abortion is such a hot topic to so many people and that's also why people choose not to address it because it makes people "uncomfortable".

Rape and incest are totally separate issues to me and have be to dealt with case by case. Rarely does pregnancy happen as a result of rape or incest.

My issue is with women who use abortion as a means of birth control.

My view is this: that baby that's aborted did nothing to deserve death. All I'm saying is that we all deserve that chance. That baby could have grown up to be a wonderful person, or make a difference in the world. I so admire women who choose not to abort, but choose to give their child up for adoption instead so maybe someone else who can't have children can raise that child. I'm glad my sister's mother made the decision to give her up or I would have never had the big sister I do now.

I'm sorry, I just don't think anyone has the right to decide if an innocent baby lives or dies; especially their own mother.

Also, I only know one person in my life that has had an abortion and yes, she regrets it everyday. I'm so glad that everyone else I know has choosen life.

Sorry if I offended anyone.

thordora said...

My issue is with women who use abortion as a means of birth control.

ah this anecdotal myth is always amusing...

Old Broad said...

Sam, your points are so well taken. I am old enough to remember life before Roe v. Wade. I remember life with coat-hanger abortions. What you said is true: making abortion illegal WILL NOT STOP ABORTION.

Stephanie: "Rarely does pregnancy happen as a result of rape or incest"??? Really? In 2000, 9,000 women had abortions as the result of pregnancies caused by rape or incest. How many others chose to carry those babies to term? Studies show that up to 85% of incest and rape victims choose not to have abortions. ("Choose" being the operative word here.) If these figures are correct, then 60,000 women got pregnant in 2000 as the result of rape or incest.
I would say that if ONE unwanted pregnancy is the result of sexual assault, that is one too many. Abortion in a safe, clean environment is vital and should be protected.
The right to choose is a woman's right.
As my favorite bumper sticker says, "If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament!"