Friday, July 8, 2011

Every time you're not there

I want to talk to my mother about Josh. We were talking about when we're grownups and getting married and I feel like there's no way of getting married without her. To tell me he's a good person to marry and also to like, help me deal with a wedding that would be surrounded by rich people who have different priorities.

How would I even have a wedding with someone like Josh? My idea of nice and their idea of nice are worlds apart. Can jewish people elope? It's when we talk about things like this that I want to break up because it seems impossible to work out. Then I always want my mommy to pet my hair and tell me how it will work.

Actually, I always want her to pet my hair.


Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry Sam. I lost my mom to cancer seven years ago. No matter how old you are, or the circumstances, I don't think anyone ever stops missing their mom. I could go for some of that hair petting too.

Anonymous said...

My advice is to take one step, one day at a time. Things will evolve in time. You do not have to look ahead so far.
Yes, I agree with the first poster. You always miss your mother.

Yankee, Transferred said...

Of course you do. Mommies are supposed to be there to do that. Even now, when I'm frighteningly close to my 60th birthday, I can easily conjure the memory of my mom touching my head, petting my hair, and reassuring me. I'm sorry, dear.

Anonymous said...

Have you thought about separating the wedding from the reception? You might consider having a small private wedding, a meaningful civil service officiated by a judge in a pretty location with just you and Josh and your sisters and his parents followed by a special celebratory lunch for just the six of you. Then after you and Josh return from your honeymoon his parents can throw whatever kind of fancy-fancy reception party they want.

Artemisia said...

It's really hard when you don't have parents to turn to for guidance. I'm so sorry.

The only think I can tell you is that people do make it through without helpful parents, figuring it out for themselves, finding substitute parents to help with judgment calls like that.

My own mom is not helpful because she's mentally ill. I can't tell you how many times I wish I had someone to lean on or depend on for advice.