Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Abortions as birth control

To the person who raised an issue with the word retarded. I fucking love that word the way I use it. It sums up exactly what I mean. However, I get your point and I'd feel terrible if I made a real retarded person cry for using it in an insulting way. So I'll try to come up with something that gets my point across just as well that's a little more PC.

Pro-choice does mean pro-choice, and not just abortion-only. Alex has heard me talk enough about how much we can't deal with having a baby. I think she just thinks of Jackie as the equivalent of me and that's why her default was abortion. If Alex ever gets pregnant she can consider continuing the pregnancy when she can afford to support a child, physically and financially.

Jackie is a little crazy, creative as hell and impulsive and I could see her being a really fun person to have as a mother. Except, you know - she's like 20. So she could be a fun mom in about ten years. I don't know her boyfriend too well - we've met maybe twice for two minutes. So I mean, it's impossible to know if he's super committed long-term or he was just trying to say whatever would make Jackie stop crying in that moment. 

I didn't ask and Jackie didn't say how she wound up pregnant, or what kind of birth control she uses. If she used none then odds are she'd have been pregnant a lot more than just this one time. So contemplating abortion now is not considering using it as a method of birth control. Obviously it's her decision and not mine. I'll be her friend no matter what she chooses. It's okay if she chooses to deal with it in a different way than I would.

32 comments:

Bec said...

I love and use (frequently) the word moron. The only offense cause by this word is to the person who has just been called it.

I am ok with that :)

Mizasiwa said...

are people really expected to be PC all the time?? How boring. And i love the way you 'talk' so i wouldnt bother!!! ;-) but thats just me.

Anonymous said...

I actually agree with the other commenter about the word 'retarded', fwiw. I do think it's become the new acceptible word for young people instead of 'gay'... both of which are problematic and offensive, imho.

Sam, I'm glad you're willing to think more broadly about the words you use. Being able to adjust your language to the world around you as you age is a skill everyone should have. (Sadly, many lack it.)

Isabel said...

I admittedly use the word "retarded" in a similar way. I understand the offense that people take to it...and I agree with what Anon is saying about being another version of "gay". I suppose one has to consider one's company...but at the same time, if something's offensive and hurtful to one group, it's probably better to not use it at all. I still slip, though.

The abortion debate is so polarized that both sides will never see eye to eye. You clearly do not endorse abortion as a means of birth control. But it is a leagal option to those who find themselves in a position such of unwanted pregnancy. Thankfully, women don't have to write an essay on how and why they deserve the option if they are faced with such a circumstance. If abortions were birth control, then women would be having them monthly...! And honestly...nobody ever feels good after having one. It's just not for others to say who can and cannot have one. Every situation is subjective.

Isabel said...

That post was a trainwreck of grammatical errors...sorry about that.

Anonymous said...

Abortions of convenience are a lot closer to abortion as birth control than they are to abortion as last resort.

Anonymous said...

okay, anonymous 10:07.. we get where you sit on the abortion debate. I really don't think you're going to sway anyone's personal position on the matter through anonymous comments on a blog.

but then.. that's what this is. so I'm kicking myself for even saying anything. :)

girlseven said...

Well said.

Anonymous said...

okay, anonymous 10:07.. we get where you sit on the abortion debate.

Actually you don't. You can't possibly extrapolate my "position" from my uncompounded comment on one specific point, and you belittle the validity of my comment but assuming I made it just to "sway" people.

Anonymous said...

Why do you keep deleting the comments from the person who says you are a fraud? His/her reasoning is pretty persuasive, as is the fact that the comments keep disappearing. For what it's worth, I used to be quite taken in by your story, but don't believe it anymore, without even doing all that research. Some things just don't seem to add up, like I don't see how it would be logistically possible to do everything you said you did in just a couple of days in Boston. And you said you went to a crappy public high school. Why would Josh's parents send their kid there if they are so rich? Are you going to respond to this or just delete it?

-Noelle

Anonymous said...

Noelle maybe it's because she's not a fraud? She's a college kid whose not a writer. There's no editor pointing out that she didnt adequately explain getting from point A to point B or she inverted an acronym.

If she were making money of this that would be an issue. There's no James Frey book here though. You don't have a limited amount of compassion that's been used up on her, so now you can't mourn your dying uncle or anything.

If you don't believe this blog then find something else to do with your time. nobody's forcing any of us to read it.

Anonymous said...

If this blog is an excercise in creative writing it's a *damn good* piece of creative writing and I, for one, don't really care if the author is exactly what we think her (him?) to be or not.

If it's 100% true, or loosely based on reality, or written by some 80 year-old man who has a lot of time on his hands...I don't care.

It is compelling and I enjoy reading it. Keep writing!

Anonymous said...

Noelle everyone does vacations differently. Some people laze around while others have a go-go-go mentality and do every new thing they can. She'd already done the laze around bit in florida, so now Sam tried a different style. If you don't like her or her story nobodyy is holding a gun to your head to read it. You can always walk away.

Anonymous said...

sam don't stress over the comments. it seems to happen every so often and then people realize how foolish they look. share whatever you want, explain whatever you want. I can't imagine who would ASSUME they are smarter than all your other readers who can't figure out for themselves what to believe.

Anonymous said...

They don't realize how foolish they are LOL she blocks their isp/comments so that they can't comment any longer and illuminate this charade for what it really is. Maybe you don't care if it is a creative writing assignment, but people who were/are truly affected by 9/11 and lost friends/family do! I wouldn't be surprised if "Sam" did make money off of this blog on occasion. There isn't anything as obvious as a paypal button, but how do you know she hasn't received private "gifts" I would not be surprised by anything someone lying about a real tragedy like 9/11 would do. There are too many shady people in the world and too many gullible people willing to believe them. I bet half the supportive comments on this post are from "Sam" herself.

NjTeacher said...

This is all about taking a leap of faith and believing Sam and her story. We are invited into this young woman's world by her openness and her choosing which parts of her life to share. It is also our choice, as the reader, to read and believe. Should we question all the blogs out on the web? It would require an extremely great memory and craftiness to keep the story "straight". So let's all stop placing our doubts on Sams story. I'm sure that if I were writing about my life, I would leave out certain topics, change names, and possibly alter some facts that do not have an effect on the point of my story. Until we walk a mile in anyone's shoes, we shouldn't say anything at all. I Enjoy this blog and only can wish I had half the courage Sam does to face the world each day.

Anonymous said...

Faith can be a beautiful thing, but in the wrong hands it can be manipulated into something evil and ugly. There are many examples of people trusting blindly and putting their faith into the wrong person; for example Hitler and Osama bin Laden. There are smaller examples of people creating worlds full of lies and deceptions that might not have the scope of the Holocaust or 9/11, (such as Casey Anthony and her imaginary friends/coworkers) but can still be horribly damaging. Because it is on a lesser scale does not make it any less wrong. I have no problem if someone wants to write fiction and explore the themes of loss, poverty, teen angst, etc. There has been fiction created based upon 9/11, such as "Rescue Me." But that tv show does not ask people to believe it is a real account. And even though it is fictional, I actually choose not to watch "Rescue Me" because growing up in Brooklyn in a family of cops and firemen, being directly affected by/surrounded with the loss and trauma of 9/11 I don't feel the need to watch a fictional account of it. If you want to bust out trite sayings then how about "the truth shall set you free." No one is doing "Sam" any favors by believing a pack of lies. If she did lose someone (maybe not even in 9/11 but maybe to drugs or cancer or old age or whatever) and this blog was born out of her therapeutic need to voice her rage and grief, I am sorry for her. Losing someone to other maladies does not make it any less significant or painful and it is awful if she felt she needed to lie so people would "care." But her truth is not here on this blog and deceiving others and ultimately herself will not help her get well.

Anonymous said...

Anon you lose - Godwin's law. Really? You're comparing Sam to HITLER?! Do you see how far off your rocker you've gone? Show me where exactly she's FORCING anyone, anywhere to do ANYTHING. You can't. Because she's not.

If you don't want to be involved just like nobody forces you to watch Rescue Me, noone forces you to read this blog. Just like you can change the channel you can change the URL.

Anonymous said...

First of all I did not compare Sam to Hitler, your reading comprehension skills are obviously lacking. Someone said to take a "leap of faith" and I said following people and ideas ignorantly leads to consequences both great and small. Because a group of terrorists believed what they were told by Osama bin Laden they killed thousands of innocent people. So I am sorry if blind faith raises my hackles. I actually believe "Sam" is more akin to a Casey Anthony figure (pathological liar with a need for attention) Second of all because some man invented a "law" in 1990 does not make me believe that his law is anymore true or valid than what Sam says. I am an educated person (a graduate of NYU, Josh's supposed school LOL) I do not believe I lose an argument because Mr. Godwin says I dared to utter the word Nazi. I do not believe that the laws of logic and decency no longer apply because I can click away from this blog. I believe I have every right to question the validity of the statements made here by Sam. I believe lying on the internet is predatory, it is emotional rape. And when you have seen real friends, crying real tears, while burying their real brother who was a fireman killed on 9/11 it kind of pisses you off to read someone lying about it to fulfill some perverse need to get attention. And if she doesn't like having the truthfulness of her story being questioned then she should not be writing a public blog. Keep a journal, see a shrink, update your Facebook status which is to your friends only.

Anonymous said...

"emotional rape"??? Seriously?

In one breath you criticize a person for using 9/11 at the expense of people who actually suffered real loss there

and in the next breath you throw the word "rape" around as if it isn't a jarring word for people who have real experience with it??

(btw.. i'm not the same person who commented above... just someone who's been raped.)

Anonymous said...

I did not throw the word rape around. Perhaps I should have used the more common vernacular of a "mind f*ck" to explain the emotional violation more perfectly. I am baffled how using one word to describe a feeling can be jumped upon as insensitive yet someone can create an entirely mythical blog/story and people have no problem with it. If I created an entire blog about being raped and then you found out I wasn't, but was using it as a writing exercise or a hobby to pass my time, then maybe you would understand more precisely why this blog is so disturbing/offensive."Sam" writes about how some Midwesterner doesn't deserve to go to the WTC site and cry. I respect that a lot more; that someone that might not have a "direct connection" to anyone murdered that day, would go there and experience a portion of the magnitude of the loss and have enough empathy to cry for people murdered and the families shattered. But to write lies about it trivializes it. It is an irrefutable fact that out of the 343 firemen murdered on 9/11 none also lost there mom in the towers that day. The other inconsistencies in this blog have made me look into this story further and I could not find a single Italian mother to three young girls from Brooklyn that died in the WTC on 9/11. I can not fathom any healthy/normal/legal reason that would motivate someone to lie about these things for 4 years. I spotted the lies on this blog within my first week of reading it. Perhaps some people enjoy being lied to? "Sam" has not offered any shred of proof since I have raised my doubts/concerns/questions. She just erases the comments that don't stroke her ego. I have a feeling she has been doing that for a long time (note the, "it seems to happen every so often" comment). I really and truly pray that no one has sent "Sam" any money or gift cards, etc. after being taken in by her tale. That seems to be one of the few motives I can think of for a charade like this.

Anonymous said...

So now Sam is Hitler. Because the author of this blog TOTALLY murdered my relatives and millions of others. I call Godwin's law. This thread ends NOW.

Anonymous said...

Once again the stupidity exhibited by people reading this blog is astonishing. I did not compare her to Hitler. Someone mentioned "leap of faith" and I have a problem with blindly following what people say. Historically, people take advantage of those that follow without question. Did I say she is going to murder millions of people?! Obviously most people reading this blog do not care to use their brains. Godwin tells you that if someone mentions Hitler then you should automatically shut off your brain and don't listen to their entire point. People are lemmings and obviously this is evident on this blog. I am frightened by the lack of common sense exhibited here @@ you can all ignore my points and questions but I will still come on here and post them because I think the truth deserves to be told.

Anonymous said...

Oh good grief. Get a life. Read it or don't read it, believe it or don't believe it, enjoy it or leave it alone. Who gives a damn?

Chris said...

To Anon@Aug4,10:07 - That was my point exactly, thank you for saying it in better words than I could.

To the Anon raising the questions: I think you may find some inconsistencies on any blog but until we get some actual proof of deceit (I don't know what that proof may be), I'm assuming good faith. Also, if Sam isn't a fraud like you think, you are in fact inflicting a lot of pain here, and her choosing not to reply is not inconsistent with my way of seeing things.

To the rest: Godwin's law has long stopped being funny and/or clever in any way. I don't like it when people bring Nazism up, but it was to make a (good) point, not to make y'all feel so very bright while crying "Godwin's law, ergo your argument isn't valid!"


I live on the other side of the planet, and it's hard for me to check facts. I believe Sam's story to be largely accurate. However, to those who think it might be fiction but it's great nonetheless, well I must say that I love Sam's writing and wish her well, but if it really was all a lie, then it would be a very serious issue, not to be taken lightly, and it's definitely something you should "give a damn" about. I'm not a fan of crying and/or praying over the next NY Times best seller, [unless it's an autobiography. :D]

Isabel said...

I woke up today wondering what I could possibly get riled up over, and I'm just so super glad that you commenters got your panties in a bunch so that I could jump right on in!

Congratulations to the super awesome gumshoe who determinded that perhaps not every little morsel of this blog is 100% truthful. I'm assuming you also cry at advertisements and editorals. What an injustice!

To throw in my two cents...I believe that Sam writes about her real life to some extent, if for no other reason than the fact that she occasionally slips up and puts the wrong name in (i.e. "Jeremy" instead of "Josh). Is every element factual? Who knows. But it comes from somewhere, and it is representative of real thoughts. My world will not be crushed if it's a work of fiction, like those fake Middle-Eastern lesbian bloggers. However, if it does hold a grain of truth, as I believe it does, I will continue to be intrigued and impressed with Sam as she makes her way through this life.

Thank you, however, to the special breed of idiot that threw out the term "emotional rape". It's a pretty special direction in which to take your argument. A blog is not emotional rape, not even a blog ABOUT rape. You, my friend, need years and years of therapy, if this is the sort of shit about which you feel the need to get riled up. Your assumption - which has no proof one way or the other - that this blog is a work of fiction is a hunch. And really...aren't you all a bunch of fools if you're bitching and moaning about deception where there might actually be none more than the tweaking of some details? Since, really...with you psychos out there...would she WANT to be tracked down, as you go over 9/11 lists and names in Brooklyn and God knows what else it is you do with your free time, since the prospect of a blog having some lies in it really is SUCH AN INJUSTICE?

I need a drink.

Anonymous said...

Isabel,

Can I marry you?

Mizasiwa said...

Iv done this backward - mostly becouse when I read this blog its early the following morning for me as Im halfway around the world too - I normally read the comments again later as most times there are none - but when I read 'Anonymous' start in a tune out!! point is this hater has been on here for a while and she/he has nothing nice to say - I wonder then why you would waste your time reading in the first place - Sam you dont owe us anything and my only hope is that if this blog is not the truth that you did not have to live through your aunts horrible behaviour after losing three of the most important people of your life!! You are no matter what a fantastic writer and I wish you the very best in life.

Anonymous said...

If this is truth or fiction I don't care. I like reading this blog. This author does not have ads, does not solicit for "donations" - as I have seen on other blogs so really WHO CARES? If it's fiction and she is getting ready to publish a book - great! It it's real and she is just writing out what is going on - wonderful. Really I enjoy reading about Sam and her life. Please continue. GO AWAY TROLL!

Anonymous said...

I honestly don't know what to make of all this. In the past four years since I began reading this blog I have felt disbelief but have also had my disbelief challenged.

If it turns out this account is totally fictional, I will be happy that three young girls didn't actually experience all those hardships, but I will be upset otherwise.

Over the years, after gaining reason to believe in the general validity of this story, I have spent lots of time trying to lend support.

No, nobody forced me to read this blog. No, nobody forced me to spend time writing long, thoughtful comments. No, nobody forced me to spend time researching resources and information that could be of assistance. No, nobody forced me to set aside obligations and direct my attention here instead.

But the account is compelling and I can't help but care and worry and want to be helpful.

If this were known to be fictional, I would still be drawn to read it, but I wouldn't be keeping a fictional character in my thoughts. I would still feel a connection when certain descriptions or ideas resonated with me, just as can happen when reading a novel, and would pleased to be able to comment on that.

I am very curious about some of what is unknown. Sometimes I've asked gently. It's been more curiosity than suspicion.

When I've wondered whether we haven't been privy to certain details because they don't exist, I've also thought that it could be because it is too painful to discuss.

I know that we can never truly understand the pain another person feels. I know it is inappropriate to judge the pain of another person.

Maybe I'll continue to expend inordinate effort in helpful commenting and maybe I won't, but I'd rather err on the side of not hurting someone, especially someone who has so much reason to hurt, so I will do my best to avoid doing anything that could cause pain.

Anonymous said...

I believe Sam owes her readers the same courtesy that is being extended to her. Readers have offered time and support and the least she can offer in return is a modicum of truth. Does the internet render all common decency dead? If she wants to write fiction, then write fiction, label it so, say "as imagined by"

"Avoid doing anything that could cause pain." Well I think it is painful to go to a friend's funeral and watch his youngest brother clutch his crushed helmet while his family weeps and then find out someone is lying about losing their brother in 9/11. I bet my friend's younger brothers wish they had the luxury of writing a fictitious blog. I bet they wish he could be there to see them graduate the fire academy, get married, have kids... But their brother was a real fireman that was really murdered.

Is it too painful to discuss how she met Josh? He just popped up out of the blue, with no explanation.

Anonymous said...

I'm really sorry you lost your friend, Anonymous. I really am. I think you might be more predisposed to be outraged by a potentially fraudulent 9/11 story, not to mention more predisposed to suspect fraudulence in the first place, because of your personal connection. Nothing wrong about that, just an observation. I didn't care about Casey Anthony one way or the other but I do hope Levi Aron rots in jail. References to Hitler and allusions to rape coming up unexpectedly and unnecessarily in a blog comment can similarly trigger outrage. You want others to understand your view and your pain, but calling other commenters stupid lemmings who do not use their brains instead of trying to understand how the careless way in which you express yourself is causing pain to those commenters isn't helping you win your case.

Didn't Sam meet Josh once she moved into the "smart" classes, specifically at the Jeopardy party?

A fictional story would make a point of highlighting the introduction of a character who was later to become a key player. In real life we don't usually know who will become important to us and wouldn't necessarily document events that would later turn out to have been significant. Take from that what you will.