Josh nearly made me pee in my pants when he swore there's a section of clothing called "cruise wear" that people wear on cruises. I did not believe him. I swore that he was just making things up. But no. Nautical clothing is real. I asked if you get kicked off the boat if you don't have the right clothes. Josh made a face. "No, but people will notice." People? You mean people I'll never see again in my life?
If we wind up married, it does not seem like I will ever fit into Josh's world. My friend Jackie and I have had long discussions about this. Her suggestion was to act like the women on Real Housewives who marry into money. Not really sure I could do that - those women always seem really shallow and obvious when I watch those shows. Who wants to be like that? When Josh's parents serve caviar am I supposed to ask which brand it is and then make a face and claim I only like some other brand? Use the word summer as a verb? Bond with people by complaining about the hired help? Yeah, I don't really see that happening. Maybe I'll learn to say like less often, but that's probably about it.
The Alaska cruise vacation has to be between May and September. Josh insists though that we are going on a vacation in April, for Spring Break. I think he's trying to set up the Alaska one anyway, and just sneak it in there hoping I won't notice or something. We agreed on two a year. Not two plus a cruise. But I heard him saying something about a graduation present. Meaning my sister. I looked up how much cruises cost. That is WAY too big of a high school graduation present. I just keep having visions of us dressed alike in our matching nautical-themed clothing with our hair in matching french pigtail braids, holding hands and skipping along a harbor.
We ended the conversation with me asking Josh to please just not set up any vacations that involve having to buy different clothes. He promised. Why can't we just have a vacation right here? People come here from all over the world to see everything there is in NY. Why can't we just play tourist for a week? We wouldn't have to fly anywhere or pack or anything.
If we wind up married, it does not seem like I will ever fit into Josh's world. My friend Jackie and I have had long discussions about this. Her suggestion was to act like the women on Real Housewives who marry into money. Not really sure I could do that - those women always seem really shallow and obvious when I watch those shows. Who wants to be like that? When Josh's parents serve caviar am I supposed to ask which brand it is and then make a face and claim I only like some other brand? Use the word summer as a verb? Bond with people by complaining about the hired help? Yeah, I don't really see that happening. Maybe I'll learn to say like less often, but that's probably about it.
The Alaska cruise vacation has to be between May and September. Josh insists though that we are going on a vacation in April, for Spring Break. I think he's trying to set up the Alaska one anyway, and just sneak it in there hoping I won't notice or something. We agreed on two a year. Not two plus a cruise. But I heard him saying something about a graduation present. Meaning my sister. I looked up how much cruises cost. That is WAY too big of a high school graduation present. I just keep having visions of us dressed alike in our matching nautical-themed clothing with our hair in matching french pigtail braids, holding hands and skipping along a harbor.
We ended the conversation with me asking Josh to please just not set up any vacations that involve having to buy different clothes. He promised. Why can't we just have a vacation right here? People come here from all over the world to see everything there is in NY. Why can't we just play tourist for a week? We wouldn't have to fly anywhere or pack or anything.
7 comments:
Just so you know, you can totally wear anything you want on a cruise. Nobody at all cares if you're wearing special clothes. Seriously, nobody. I'm with you on not vacationing to places where special clothes are required.
sounds to me like Josh and his family will find any excuse to buy something new. don't be fooled: nobody cares what you wear on a cruise. and I think you'd look a bit ridiculous in 'nautical' wear unless you're posing for a j.crew catalog.
I don't see you capable of changing into a "married into money" wife - you're far too strong in who you are. And if Josh fell in love with you, I doubt he would want you to turn into someone else. I'm pretty sure he likes that you are yourself... he just wants you to compromise from time to time.
So I don't know what people wear on cruises, but I certainly wouldn't buy anything that I didn't like just because someone decided it qualified as "cruise wear". I'd suggest that you let Josh take you shopping for something, and if you find an outfit you like, then buy one as a compromise to him. And if you don't find one you like, then tell him they aren't your style.
You're far better as yourself than as a clone of a bunch of rich people on a cruise. :)
I don't want this to sound offensive (but yea, I guess it will) but seriously, your boyfriend has some growing up to do. No one cares what you wear on a cruise, and that was such a snobby elitist thing to say. My word!! !!!!! !!!!!
I've been on two cruises and didn't see anyone wearing "cruise wear". Everyone was just wearing their normal clothers.
I was thinking about this today and came to the conclusion that there were a couple of things I wanted to tell you.
1. There is nothing wrong with you or your way of life. Frugality (whether by necessity or choice) is a virtue.
2. Most middle class people who go on vacation buy a few new items of clothing and don't worry so much about meeting standards imposed by others.
3. Josh might need to be told that your love language is not gifts given. It is more than okay that you don't want to spend money unnecessarily and if you prefer to be shown love in a different way. Have a talk with him about ways you can show each other love that are extra meaningful to the each of you. My husband used to try to ruffle my hair to show me love. I hate that feeling. Hate it! But the sentiment on his side was nothing but love. We've talked about it and now he squeezes me or gives me a little hip check as I walk by as on the go affection. He had to change what he did for his actions to be perceived as loving by me. Josh wants to take you places and buy you things as a token of his love but if that isn't what you want or need, it isn't working! This is okay and you are okay.
Hear, hear, Suzanne!
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