Monday, June 25, 2012

Being an alcoholic

A high school friend sent me a link to another friend's Twitter page to see something we were talking about. I noticed in another spot she'd written something like, "If I don't drink for more than three days I start getting skitchy." If you can't go a certain number of days without feeling it physically, then you're an alcoholic. We talked with her about it, and she was very ... unconcerned about herself. There's all this stuff about alcoholism and genetics and stuff but she really made it sound like a total choice. But who chooses to be an alcoholic? Her boyfriend drinks even more than she does, and used to be a hardcore drug user. She used to do as much weed as me. I have a very take it or leave it attitude about it. If it's around, maybe I'll have some. I never seek it out, don't grow my own. Haven't bought since 10th grade. Now she won't even leave the house without lighting up first. 

What is wrong with everybody? I'm not saying everyone should be going to Yale or anything, but having your kid taken away? I mean like that's really totally failing at parenting. Publicly saying you're an alcoholic and then when friends express concern claiming it's better than your mom who was a waitress who sold drugs on the side? Better than that is not good enough. Pointing out you're better than someone else should not be your standard.

If everybody acts like they don't care about their lives hurtling in a downward spiral then why should I? So I won't. Don't call me to help find out if you can mail your daughter shit at her new foster home. Don't ask me to call and wake you in case your alarm didn't shake you out of your drunken stupor. I have two sisters to wake up, that's enough.

I just don't understand. Why is everyone I know a fuckup?


Vinny said...

You are right to shrug off those people. You've busted your ass to get you and your sisters to where you are. You are meeting supportive people who want to help you succeed. You can be successful and still be Sam. You are not your neighborhood, your aunt, or the girl your Mom knew.

The reason the people around you are fuckups is because they've allowed themselves to become carbon copies of their mentors and parents. Youve always wanted more and you're doing it. You haven't been a slacker because that's not who you would allow yourself to be. A couple of angels on your shoulders have looked out for you and you've labored to make them proud. Let those losers go. You deserve better.

Karen said...

Another reason the people around you are screwing up is because you're all in your young 20s. It is really crazy to look back at this age once you're past it and realize how ridiculous you were, the mistakes you made and how lucky (if indeed true) that you got through.

I'm sorry so many of your friends from HS are turning up to have these really serious problems. You won't have these friends forever; you will meet new people in your job and elsewhere that are on the same success-oriented track you are. And some of these old friends of yours will self-correct. A lot of them won't. It's not your fault and it's not your responsibility. Do what you can for them, if you are moved to, or move on. Don't feel guilty about it, either way.