Seriously, I never ever thought I would make it this far in the whole college thing. Back then I figured maybe the first semester would go okay, but definitely it would all die out by the end of that first year. I even had a backup plan tucked away in my brain for when I failed college and got kicked out - the plan was to work a bullshit job until enough money was saved up and then go to bartending school and become a bartender full time.
And living with a boy? Pretty convinced that would explode and die by then too. Actually I thought my sisters and I would get kicked out at the latest, by the start of 2010. That Josh and I would not be able to work, that we are just way too different. I still feel that way to be honest. If tomorrow Josh told me this wasn't working and we needed to break up it wouldn't surprise me. When I talked to my sister about this, Alex patted me on the head. "Don't think too much. Thinking ruins you."
Dani overheard, what with being in the same bedroom and all, and she agreed. According to her, I am a workhorse, and that is my best quality. Danielle went on and on about how I'm not that smart or particularly talented in any specific way, but can plod along on course, constantly breaking down overwhelming things into tiny, doable steps.
Regardless of which one of them is right, somehow I have gotten here. To a place where I've lived with a boy for three years, in the home stretch of college. Right now, I don't even feel like I need the diploma, to graduate. It's already a success to me.
And living with a boy? Pretty convinced that would explode and die by then too. Actually I thought my sisters and I would get kicked out at the latest, by the start of 2010. That Josh and I would not be able to work, that we are just way too different. I still feel that way to be honest. If tomorrow Josh told me this wasn't working and we needed to break up it wouldn't surprise me. When I talked to my sister about this, Alex patted me on the head. "Don't think too much. Thinking ruins you."
Dani overheard, what with being in the same bedroom and all, and she agreed. According to her, I am a workhorse, and that is my best quality. Danielle went on and on about how I'm not that smart or particularly talented in any specific way, but can plod along on course, constantly breaking down overwhelming things into tiny, doable steps.
Regardless of which one of them is right, somehow I have gotten here. To a place where I've lived with a boy for three years, in the home stretch of college. Right now, I don't even feel like I need the diploma, to graduate. It's already a success to me.
5 comments:
Right on! You are a success for these reasons and many more. Have a great time at school.
You're exactly right, a success!
My niece just started CCNY. She's living in The Towers, and we are coming to visit her soon.
Exactly!
I'm glad you defied even your own expectations of yourself because you certainly are more than capable, smart, and hard-working enough to finish college AND have a successful career in the future. And you and Josh might come from different places and have different perspectives on some things, but there must be enough that you have in common that you and him have kept on keeping on all these years.
Happy for you!
I'm glad to see you reflecting on your success. It's important to pat yourself on the back once in a while! Kudos to you.
Post a Comment