Friday, November 2, 2012

Sudden and unsettling

We are all very grateful to be saved from no electricity, being stranded in the city, not being able to get around to different parts of it. The scary part is not being able to go home. All the stuff from my mom is there. The scary part is not knowing what our place will look like when we get back. I mean, the odds are it's all fine. We don't have a basement and aren't on the top floor.

My sisters, Alex especially, are unsettled at being here even though they're having fun. We are stranded from our city, but if we'd stayed, we could have been stranded in there. I do not understand how Josh's people do this without worrying.

Also I am totally freaked out about how much this is costing. Doesn't it cost more to fly last minute? And hotel rooms are like at least $100 a night minimum, and these are nice ones so they're probably more. So every time Josh or his parents are like, "Why don't we go _______?" if it costs money, it feels horrible and greedy to be all enthusiastic about it. I had to go take a shower at like 5 a.m. so I could go cry in private from the stress. It makes me hate myself and feel so stupid that I can't enjoy a fancy vacation like anyone else would. I don't understand how people do this. 

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Totally normal feelings Sam, and to be expected. I hope you are able to get home soon.
Kathy

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry that you can't let go of the stress of the money situation, especially since the stress of the hurricane situation is there. Just remember that they have plenty of money. People with plenty of money don't think twice about the extra hotel costs, the extra dinner costs, the extra entertainment costs. Really. And I can virtually guarantee that they are happy to include you and your sisters in that spending. You're not wrong for feeling the way your feel and for not being to enjoy it, but try to just accept (even though you don't understand) that this (the money) is truly not a big thing for them. Maybe if you don't try to understand but just say "that's they way they are" it'll take the stress down a notch. Or you could mess with them and suggest you all go to Joël Robuchon in the MGM Grand for dinner. Of course, they probably wouldn't blink at the price ...

OTRgirl said...

Of all the places to be, being in Vegas while your home is in duress would just feel very strange. As you said, being in Vegas with your boyfriend's parents and sisters is just odd. Maybe if you were in a cute, small town in upstate NY, it would feel more like you'd escaped the chaos and less like you were in an alternative reality.

It is true that if someone has a lot of money, the thinking around it is totally different. The way you think makes sense, the way that his family thinks makes sense. Try to take a deep breath and let the money part go each time and enjoy the time as a family. It's not often that you'll get to do something like this. So, yeah, it's just weird, but try to let the good parts be good without dismissing the whole experience.

Nina said...

You shouldn't feel bad for feeling like this is unsettling and hard. Your city and home just went through this huge thing, and you're stuck in this somewhat bizarre place totally removed from reality. You can't go back home. Josh's parents are spending so much money and that must make you feel uncomfortable when I know how hard you've worked to support you and your sisters. It's a wonderful thing that Josh's parents are helping you guys, that they are so generous and that they care about you three and that spending all this money on this trip is probably done without a second thought...but that doesn't negate the fact that it's still a stressful situation for you and your sisters.

I'm glad you got a chance to cry. It's always hard to get private time to freak out when you're on vacation. *hugs*

Monica said...

I think Josh's parents do worry but they're parents and they are trying to make it easier on you.

It took me years to realize that admitting to my kids that I was worried but that I had a plan and it would be okay was much better for them than pretending to not be worried.

All kids are different but since you and your sisters have been responsible for yourselves for so long knowning the plan is probably very important to you.

Keep in mind that Josh's family has shown that the money and the things are less important to them than the people, so for them getting the family to safety has relieved their worries. It's a little different for you guys since all you have left of your mother are her things.

Based on the news coming out of the city the worst you're going to go home to is tossing out any food in the fridge and freezer. Not only have you missed the power outages but you not being there has relieved some stress on emergency services and allowed them to focus on those who couldn't leave. It's a good thing all around.

It's okay to worry but you should be talking to someone about it - I bet Josh's mom would love it if you told her you were worried about your mom's things and asked her what she thought. It will make you both feel better than you crying in the shower and trying to fake enjoyment.

Lisa @ Trapped In North Jersey said...

One of the nice things about having enough money is the ability to spend it on people you care about without worrying. I doubt that Josh's parents are stressed about providing for you guys in Vegas; I bet that if they think about it, their thoughts run along the line of "thank goodness we are able to keep us all safe." I tried to convince my inlaws to come stay with us while their power was out, and offered to buy their airline tickets--my thought was that we have enough and we want to help.

Your feelings are normal, and it is hard being away from your home while stuff is happening. Hopefully the cry made you feel better.