Thursday, November 7, 2013

Like the angel and the devil

God and I have had a rocky relationship for over a decade now for obvious reasons. I definitely believe there's some sort of ... higher power going on. Every once in a while the world just tilts in your direction and you feel like someone is looking out for you, or turning you in the right direction.

People like to give a lot of job advice. When they give it, it's always with 100% assurance that they are telling you the absolute correction thing. Sometimes it's hard to know who to listen to when so many people are saying such conflicting things.

After each client I work on, the manager who I work with writes up a review of me, of my work. What about when there's more than one manager? How come sometimes I'm interacting more with one manager than the other but then get told the one I barely said a word to is the one who'll be writing my review?

I am working with these two guys who seem to be best friends. They are a couple of years ahead of me. They always arrive within 10 minutes of each other. Then they go out to pick up breakfast together. Mid-morning they always go out for coffee together, then to lunch together, then mid-afternoon out to get another coffee or a snack. It's kind of a miracle they're not fat.

One guy is kind of cool (when he's not around his friend) and will joke around and have real conversations with you. The other guy is just an arrogant prick. If you say hi to him, he'll nod back at you. In the elevator, he always pushes past me to get out first, after not acknowledging he knows me. Even if we're in a conversation wit three or four other people, he'll talk to only the people he's friends with or the ones who are higher up than he is.

The first guy is always asking people if they need help, if they want an extra set of hands, always going one step ahead. When I commented to him about it, you know what he did? Promptly told me how his arrogant friend (who never does those things), is really very smart. How kind is that?

Today I got told the two guys are a great example for me. I see them as being very different though. If I were to be like the obnoxious guy, it doesn't seem like I'd get very far.

*Apparently it's not appropriate to curse at work. Today I was looking at something on the computer and this guy came over to look at it too. I had taken off my blazer and the guy glanced at my arm and was like "Are you bleeding?" and it turned out I was! There was blood all over my upper arm. I said, "holy shit!" and went to go stop the bleeding. Later somebody told me I can't curse at work, especially around clients.


Kizz Robinson said...

Do you think the example person meant that it's good for you to see both of them and see how they both work and pick and choose the parts of each that you think are smart/viable?

The person who got bent because you swore (I'm assuming not in front of a client) when you were bleeding is an asshat. I am doing some professional development with a teacher who is always checking that I know stuff like that so even when we're alone or with other understanding colleagues she'll remind me that swearing can't happen with clients! I'm 44, woman, my filters all work.

Karen said...

Behavior at work is one thing to observe. Another thing that these two guys are doing is the work - what is the quality of their work product? How successful are they at building and extending their relationships with clients? How they helping the organization? These are the "examples" that you should pay attention to.

Your behavior to your peers, underlings and managers should be polite, respectful and as honest as you can make it without the swearing, LOL. You should be true to yourself, otherwise your workplace will be an unpleasant place.

The two guys you describe in your post sound very interesting. What if you thought about the obnoxious guy as someone who's very shy and not skilled at interaction? Perhaps his rudeness is simply the fastest way he knows how to get out of a social interaction. The friendship he has with the nice guy may be the only meaningful relationship he has at the office. That doesn't make his behavior right, but if you can find it in your heart to see him as a flawed but ultimately good human being you might find it easier to deal with him.

sam said...

Nah, he's not shy. He's arrogant. It's not like he's autistic or something. He just thinks he's the shit.

Elaine said...

In Japan, where I live, there's an expression that means "opposite teacher." That is, you can learn from the bad examples too - what NOT to do. I've had both great and obnoxious bosses and have learned from both. So maybe that's what somebody meant.

That said, there are a lot of his type of guy in the working world. You'll see that type again and again. Watch and learn.