Friday, March 21, 2014

New direction (not about Glee)

The partner I was going to talk with seems super busy. I guess things got backed up from her being out of the office for a couple of days? 

It seems like there was an accident - this guy now thinks we're friends or something. The kind of friends where he can make comments about what I wear each day. And how I look in it. And how my body looks. So we had a little talk today because this is very quickly spiraling out of control.

"We're not friends. We're temporary co-workers, and nothing else. It is highly unprofessional of you to talk about my body in any way. Don't ever do it again. Not to me, not to my boyfriend, not to anyone else. Don't talk about my clothes or how I look in them. You can talk to me about work. Nothing else. At all. If you ever comment on my body again, I will hurt you very, very badly." 

He kind of just stared at me, so I walked away because I didn't know what was supposed to happen next. My earbuds are in basically all the time, and I make it a point to sit facing the door so I can see anyone walking towards me.


Abby said...

All of that is fine except the last sentence. You threatening him with harm is as much harassment as him making wildly inappropriate comments about you. Unfortunate, but true. You can say "or I will take this to management the next time you say anything"--which he'd probably take more seriously and wouldn't run the risk of getting you in trouble. I'd go to Scary Partner ASAP about this guy.

Anonymous said...

Hi ,
so sad you have to deal with a creep. Hopefully he will fall off a cliff soon ( joking, but not really)
Kind Regards

J said...

What Abby said.

Karen said...

When I was a newbie at my job, I shared an office with a group of much older men. One day after lunch I was standing in the middle of the open space laughing with my office mates when someone came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me.

I am from the NY metro area and I was pretty new to the culture of my job in Texas. Nevertheless, when someone comes up behind you and hugs you and you don't know who it is and you're 22 years old and from NY, things happen.

I shoved my elbow into his ribs and stomped his foot as hard as I could.

When he yelled and jumped back, I turned around and saw I'd been hugged by a guy from upper management. Like 3 levels above my pay grade.

I didn't get in trouble. He didn't get in trouble. But no one messed with me ever again.

I do agree with Abby. Threatening him kind of wrecked your upper hand. Hopefully he got the message. But please find a better approach next time.

Anonymous said...

Good job!

Kizz Robinson said...

I think you still need to get this on the record with HR. You can let them know that you've made your point clearly to the colleague in question but that you want it on the record. This is both the professional and the safe way to go. In the extremely unlikely event that you need to defend yourself against unwanted advances by this cowardly, over-privileged dickweed you want to be sure that there's a trail to prove that you've been harassed by him previously. It sucks that this is necessary but it is. I know you don't want to. I know it sucks to do but it's absolutely the right and safe thing. Please.

One crazed mommy said...

I work in HR - definitely bring it to their attention sooner rather than later. And also, be honest and let them know what you said...that way if he comes back they already have it on record that you said something that could be construed as threatening. Better to be honest upfront than trying to explain yourself later. Harassment is not taken lightly - considering it's verbal at this point, he would probably just be counceled and coached on ethics and code of conduct. However, it would be on his, let them know. HR is not mean...we want to know these things to keep our employees safe!