Sunday, March 16, 2014

Decision time

Tomorrow I am wearing my best outfit, and Dani has agreed to flat iron my hair for me. Then, I am going to go talk to Scary Partner and ask her if when you're out after work at a bar with work people if somebody says rude things about you that's still considered a problem for the company to handle. Except I may go to Plan B which is to chicken out.


Karen said...

I hope your talk with Scary Partner worked out today.

You talk a lot here about the scary part. I know you also [used to] have a problem with anger management. This situation with your male coworker is an appropriate thing to be angry about (although not out-of-control, yelling angry) not scared.

Hang in there.

RC said...

It's totally appropriate for you to talk to her. No employee should be talking about another employee that way. Even after work and off the clock. It's sexual harassment and at the very least he needs to be told that he can't talk like that to anyone about any employee. EVER.

sam said...

It was very anti-climactic. She's out of the office until Wednesday.

Lil'Sis said...

Good luck on Wednesday then:) Having to self advocate for a fair and safe workplace is difficult - always seems easier when you're helping someone advocate for themselves - you can do it! you deserve to feel comfortable in your place of business.

Kellie said...

Hi, as a woman who works in a field dominated by men, I feel that you have EVERY right to bring up the situation with your boss. You were on a Company outing where he was inappropriate, this is a lesson for him, he is young and may not "get" that this is not the behavior that professionals engage in . For you, never ever be afraid to bring up a situation with a co-worker (male or female) that feels inappropriate, this is key to ensuring you are healthy in mind and body. Good luck keep us posted and I know after this you will know this was the right thing to do.

Hang tough!

Suzanne said...

You might do well to clearly state to butt kisser that what he said was unacceptable and that it will never happen again. And then let it drop. If anything close to that happens again, trot straight off to HR.

Anonymous said...

Is this Scary Partner from the internship last summer? Hadn't realized it was the same company. Nice. Well done.

Great that you've figured out a way to approach it. Of course it's not only what your co-worker said to Josh that is the problem, but the fact that he did not let it drop after Josh told him off and is now harassing you directly at work by asking you personal questions and waiting for you outside the bathroom.

"Now please leave me the hell alone and don't ever talk about me or my body to me or anyone else again."

Did you actually instruct him thusly, whether in these words exactly or otherwise? Is he continuing to harass you? If you did make a point of telling him not to invade your space and not to talk to you about anything other than work issues and he is ignoring you, that is something to mention.

Also, refrain from mentioning your impression of him as a brown noser to anyone so as not to complicate your complaint concerning his actions towards and regarding you.

Hope the talk with Scary Partner goes well. Please let us know. You might want to check first that she's doing okay, that she wasn't out of the office unexpectedly and for an upsetting reason.

Anonymous said...

"If you did make a point of telling him not to invade your space and not to talk to you about anything other than work issues and he is ignoring you, that is something to mention."

By "and he is ignoring you," I meant ignoring what you told him, ignoring your instructions.

Anonymous said...

Your co-worker doesn't want to realize that what he did was inappropriate. Instead of apologizing or just letting it drop, he is putting it on Josh, trying to convince himself that Josh's response was what was inappropriate.

He might never understand why his behavior is inappropriate, but he needs to understand that it is inappropriate.

Hope the talk with the partner goes/went well.