Friday, May 2, 2014

Brace yourself

Mother's Day is coming. I wish Mother's Day meant the day when all the mothers come back. We have so much to talk about. I have some sewing questions and some cooking questions and some husband questions and some money-saving questions and some mama questions.

I want to show my mom my closet. She had this way of organizing hers that was so cool and I used to play in it and the plan was when I grew up I'd do mine the same way. Except now I am grown up but I can't remember what exactly she did. I forced Alex to help me try to stumble upon it - first we organized by color, then by type of clothing, then by type of clothing and color, then by season and color... We tried a different method each day for a week. Drove Josh crazy. Yeah I have no idea how she did it.

Why didn't my mom get married? Like, ever? She was beautiful and awesome. I'd marry her. Was it because nobody wanted to take on so many kids? Was it because she didn't really throw herself out there to meet people? I really want to understand this. Didn't she want to get married? In my psychology class in college I read something about how kids copy the same-sex parent. Does that mean I'm doomed to not get married? Somebody should tell Josh.

I want to tell her about the replacing of bedding each year and see what she thinks of it. I want her to make me all her foods again and then write down the recipes for all the ones I love best. So all of them really. I want to try on all her clothes. And shoes. And jewelry. I want her to brush my hair out. I want her to tell me everything I need to know. I want to smell her. I want to know why she never got a pet. Does she think I shouldn't get a dog? Am I doing life right?


Anonymous said...

Because your mom was taken from you so early, I totally understand why you think she would have all the answers to how you should love your life and that she would be right.

But the truth is we mothers don't have all the answers at all. We don't know how you should organize your closet or if you should get a dog (though we like to have opinions on all of our children's choices!)

But as a parent I can assure you she would be proud of you, be impressed by your achievements and choices. She, by now, would have learned to come to you with some of her BIG questions, too.

Anonymous said...

Oh. And obviously I meant "live your life" not love your life above...but that's probably true too.

SmileyGirl said...

Sam, I lost my dad at age 12 an honestly I can mostly only remember the good things. I'm sure that the way life is designed but when I grew up it did have an impact on me. For example, I didn't remember my parents ever fighting. When I got engaged and my fiance and I would fight on occasion it would worry me that we wouldn't be as happy as my parents were because "they never fought". My mom had to remind me that it was not that way. There were other things of course but my point is that sometimes when someone is gone, the things we believe they did so well might just be because we have chosen to remember them that way. Since we can't remember exactly how it was done (but it was wonderful in our minds) our systems can't possibly be as good. Try to not be so hard on yourself, I'm sure you are a fantastic homemaker and will be a fantastic wife someday too. And maybe even someday a wonderful mom that your own mother will be shining down on saying "go girl". As for why she never got married, maybe she never felt the right man came along that was good enough for her and her kids. It sounds like from the outside, you may have found a good one already. :)