Friday, January 30, 2015

You decide: is she dumb or passive-aggressive?

There's this early or mid 30's woman at work who is at my level (second career) and sometimes I think she wants to make friends with me. Like, 25% of the time. The other 75% of the time I think she hates me.

  1. She always calls me by the wrong name. Sabrina, Sara, Shannon, even Dana once. I'm at the point where next time I see her coming, I want to write SAM on a post-it and slap it on my chest for her to read.
  2. She asks weird questions and then gives a weird response when I answer normally. Like she'll walk up to me and apropos of nothing ask, "What kinds of things do you make for dinner?" and then when I answer whatever I've made the last two nights she'll go "Oh!" and then say nothing else and wander off before I can ask what she makes for dinner. WTF is that? 
  3. She saw me standing outside the client's building one morning, taking off my boots and putting on shoes, and said "Oh! You wear boots?" Firstly, duh. Secondly, she was wearing boots too. 
  4. She's seeing a married guy as her main boyfriend but also dating other people, and sometimes she'll walk up and tell me about her dates. Once, she told me about when she was showering with the married guy and they did some weird things in there. 
  5. Once, she told me I should use better makeup, like MAC. Again, WTF?
I just don't get her. We. Are Not. Friends. I don't need to hear about her sexual activities. And if she DID want to be friends, the very least she could do is learn my name. 

Mostly I think she's bitchy, but the only reason I think maybe it's just stupidity is because she goes to a tanning salon. Regularly. Not spray tans. Tanning beds. I thought everyone got the memo about that ages ago.


One crazed mommy said...

Hmmm - I don't know what I would call her, but I would steer clear of that one. Weird...that's what I would call her! Definitely passive aggressive tendencies - but I don't think dumb is the word for her.

Karen said...

Yeah, not dumb. Maybe pathologically insecure and needy. I'm thinking there will be a third career for her. I wouldn't give her a second thought, frankly.

Kizz Robinson said...

She seems kind of on the Asperger's spectrum. Like, just terrible social skills on a widespread level.

Suzanne said...

She is either or both and to be avoided.

Anonymous said...

Her behavior towards you sounds socially awkward and at times inconsiderate, but not passive-aggressive or hateful or bitchy. What am I missing?

The "we are not friends" reminds me of that guy who was all up in your business with Josh. At least this colleague is only sharing inappropriately about her own personal life and not demanding to learn about yours.

I would suggest you continue to act politely towards her, not cold, but disinterested and not enthusiastic. Answer her questions as briefly as possible and ignore your friendly instinct to ask her questions in return.

Yeah, using tanning beds is stupid.