Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Over and exhausted

A week and a half ago was Laurie's last chemo treatment. Apparently it's customary to make this a big deal and celebrate it. The lowest number of hours I have worked in the last six weeks has been 73. So I basically had time to run out of work, go to the hospital and say "Congratulations!" and then run right back to work. Josh's dad suggested a family vacation to celebrate, so I packed Josh off and sent him vacationing.

I'm a little out of the loop due to work so am not sure of timing, but think she is going to get a bunch of tests done soon to see how well the chemo worked. Laurie had this sort of thing done maybe two thirds of the way through the chemo adventure, and the results were not pretty. So I don't have much hope that this round of tests will be uplifting.

Laurie is basically in deep denial and acting like things are fine. I don't know how to deal with that. Josh has said it's a huge relief she is back in her own home. I put him in charge of getting back the extra keys. His sister is off wherever. We are not clear where she actually lives, and I kind of don't care. At one point a couple of weeks ago, Josh told me, "When we have kids, she will never be allowed to babysit them." I just said okay, and didn't point out the likelihood of her wanting to is slim.

In sum, we are all exhausted. And kind of tired of each other. I don't know how other cultures do that thing so smoothly where multiple generations live together, and when people marry into families they move in with them. 


One crazed mommy said...

Sorry Sam - I know that emotions run very high under such stress, and throwing family members together under the same roof just escalates it. When my daughter was born my mom had to "live with us" Monday - Friday, because my baby was on a waiting list for daycare...she travelled down every Monday and left Friday (2 hour drive) to go home for the weekend - she did this for 6 months. Now, my mom and I are very close, but after 6 weeks I was so ready for her to be gone! And I know she was even under good circumstances it's not easy.
Keeping you all in my thoughts, and praying that Laurie has good test results.

Karen said...

Glad to hear that everyone is doing alright, even if you are feeling shell shocked. I think you need a vacation, too; maybe a spa weekend for you and whichever sister you feel like spending time with, or maybe just YOU.

Thanks for updating us, too.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for updating us. Was getting concerned. It's unreal how those other cultures live all together and I don't see how they do it either. I'd be ready for the looney bin or some serious medication. Good thoughts going to you all and hoping for the best for Laurie. Paying your dues at work. Just remember it will pay off quite positively for you in the future. That's not so far off as time is going by quicker than you think.

Nina said...

Hoping against hope that Laurie's news is positive. And so glad that you've made it through what sounds like a very difficult experience for everyone involved.

Ehme said...

You sound exhausted. I hope the universe grants you and yours respite soon.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for updating us!

Congratulations to you too, Sam. In the spring, September had seemed so far away.

Laurie being in denial might be what's allowing her to function. Hope you can attend the appointment when Laurie gets the results of her tests, for both her benefit and yours.

Eighty-hour work weeks seem unsustainable for more than a week or two. How are you able to get enough sleep, to do anything else at all, to function?

Hope you get a break soon.

Please consider going to a luxury hotel for a night, alone, sometime when you are free even just from the afternoon to the next morning, to shut out the world and pamper yourself. You need to be taken care of too.

Amanda said...

It sounds like we were all abut worried about you since your last post. I'm glad to hear your home is back to being your own, as it should be. Especially during tough times your home should be your sanctuary, not a place you dread having to go to.

Waiting for the upcoming test results must be nerve racking for everyone. As someone who lost a parent at age nine, I find it incredibly difficult when someone close to me loses their parent. I lost my father and have noticed about myself that I tend to take the death, or potential death, of a father harder. I think this is completely normal. I know the pain of losing that person and I really don't want someone I care about to have to experience that. I recognize that I'm not good at it which has left me apologizing to more than one friend over the years. I don't think if someone hasn't lost a parent that they can understand.

Don't be afraid to tell your boss when you need to be there for Josh. People have ill family members and deaths. Just because you are young doesn't mean you can't take time off for your family. Loved ones remember when you weren't there for them, work colleagues will not.

I will be thinking of you guys and hoping for the best outcome for Laurie.